(Originally published to Glitchwave on 3/26/2025)
[Image from glitchwave.com]
Pizza Tower
Developer: Tour De Pizza
Publisher: Tour De Pizza
Genre(s): 2D Platformer
Platforms: PC, Switch
Release Date: January 26, 2023
The most conspicuous element of Pizza Tower that exemplifies its renegade indie credentials is its highly distinctive aesthetic. Where triple-A games are hyper-focused on buffing out every inch of digital discernibility to scramble the player’s perception of reality like a lucid dream, Pizza Tower is unmistakably an interactive fantasy in the vein of a cartoon. Specifically, Pizza Tower’s graphics should drum up comparisons to the animation style of John Kricfalusi, the creator of influential cartoon lynchpin, The Ren and Stimpy Show. Any disparaging comments on the man’s personality are admittedly and unfortunately too transparent to dispute, but no one can deny that his idiosyncratic drawing style arguably became the most emulated form of animation by a myriad of future cartoonists after his series debuted on Nickelodeon in the early 1990s. The dogmatic practice that John K. engendered on his production team to a tyrannical degree was to never draw the same face twice, a stern and painstaking practice to maintain the creative integrity of his work. While I’m assuming that there wasn’t an overseer at Tour De Pizza cracking the proverbial whip, Pizza Tower evidently adopts the same ethos, judging by the game’s buoyant expressiveness. Peppino Spaghetti, Pizza Tower’s playable protagonist, whose name sounds like a rejected Punch Out! boxer, muscles out silly expressions that one’s mother tells them would freeze on their face if they persisted. However, in the case of Pizza Tower espousing John K’s working credo, one continual exaggerated visage would’ve been a death sentence, which is why Peppino contorts his face uniquely enough to the point where any normal person would be hospitalized for fracturing their jaw or busting a vital blood vessel in their eye. No matter Peppino’s intended emotion of glee, rage, or fear, they are all expressed with an utterly manic exaggeration. In fact, any sentient creature in the game with pronounced facial features signifies their emotions emphatically, like Peppino, albeit exhibiting a lesser range due to not having a predominant screen presence. The madcap characters in Pizza Tower are juxtaposed with set pieces and backgrounds that I’d describe as a warped psychedelic experience akin to tripping balls on salvia if it weren’t so heavily associated with a ubiquitous artistic style synonymous with late 20th-century animation. All the while, the foundation of Pizza Tower’s twisted kookiness is rough-hewn, amateurish doodles with their coarse outlines supplying the backbone for endearing pixel graphics. To say the least, Pizza Tower’s presentation is an acquired taste. Several detractors even state that its provocative, crude panache is the deciding factor that deterred them from playing the game entirely. Conversely, Pizza Tower’s presentation is what piqued my interest. It’s not as if I adore the aesthetic based on its visual merits alone, but that they foster the dementedly comedic atmosphere that resonated with me so long ago when I fell in love with Ren & Stimpy. When would a triple-A title ever alienate a percentage of its audience with such a stark artistic deliberation? This question is rhetorical, of course–they’d never dream of it.
To Peppino’s credit, I’d probably be acting like a raving lunatic if my livelihood were threatened with total annihilation by an evil cosmic entity in the shape of a gigantic pizza. To save his pizzeria from being wiped off the map with a comically-sized laser blast like Alderaan, the chef must haul ass up the titular “pizza tower” and give the diabolical pie a piece of his mind. Perhaps this anxiety-inducing conflict would’ve been prevented if Peppino paid off his steep debt payments, but that’s evidently not something the schmuck will ever put into consideration. Peppino’s ascent up the foreboding spire to rescue his business from certain destruction is divided into subsections, four primary hubs housing a handful of levels that also display a cohesive theme per area. The ascension process obviously involves completing the levels per hub, but Pizza Tower is no ordinary side-scroller with a point A to B kind of trajectory. Pizza Tower’s level design draws prominent comparisons to Wario Land, a Mario Land spinoff series of games starring the red plumber’s “evil twin,” or at least the character who shares this dynamic with him. The parallels to Wario Land could also be conjured up from the fact that Pizza’s Tower’s protagonist is also a pudgy Italian man who exudes an aura of being goofy, greasy, semi-sleazy, and other slovenly characteristics. Relating to Wario Land’s gameplay, the player will traverse through a series of corridors in a labyrinthian enclosure, like The Great Cave Offensive, if the chapter from Kirby Super Star wasn’t a smothering chore. Like Wario, Peppino will possibly stumble upon a smattering of collectibles of varying value, swapping jewels with toppings typically found on pizza. On the same token, what constitutes treasures is alternately different pieces of food-oriented items instead of golden trinkets. Peppino will also similarly reach a point in every level where he’ll encounter what looks like a street-weathered version of an Easter Island head, and making physical contact with the hefty slab of marble will trigger a sequence where Peppino must make haste back to the entrance of the level through an alternate path, lest Peppino alerts the slumbering Pizzaface of his presence and starts hunting him down like the similarly shaped and equally malevolent Desert Sun from Super Mario Bros. 3. I suppose I should disclose that the similarities specifically stem from the fourth entry in the Wario Land franchise, the one that forgoes a considerable chunk of the methodical puzzle elements from the previous games in favor of pronouncing pure platforming. How Pizza Tower eludes the accusations of acting as an outright homage to the fourth Wario Land title is that the winding platforming in question is cranked up to a velocity that resembles the high-octane swiftness of Sonic the Hedgehog. Ideally, Peppino is plowing his way through every inch of this tower with an urgency on the verge of potential peril. When he’s darting to whence he came from as the level’s climax, the speed needed to escape Pizzaface’s menacing line of sight is so blistering that it’s a wonder that Peppino’s skin isn’t seared with third-degree burns from the blaze set under his feet. Add the game’s exaggerated exuberance into the equation, and every level of Pizza Tower becomes so intense that it feels like the game is bound to explode.
Pizza Tower’s heightened rate of gameplay acceleration does not connote that the player can casually sprint through each level with little consideration to their surroundings. Another gameplay factor ostensibly taken from Sega’s blue blur is a ranking system that evaluates Peppino’s performance after a level is completed, scaled on the American grading system of assigning letters from the alphabet. Surprisingly, time is not a factor that the game finds imperative in judging the player on their skills, as it would be in any Sonic game. Rather, the developers encourage defeating enemies in a string of combos before the streak window exhausts, as well as conducting a thorough search of the area for scattered pizza ingredients and the aforementioned collectibles. The caged pizza toppings should be conspicuous enough to free them from their captivity, even if the player can’t actually hear their yelps for help seen in speech bubbles. However, acquiring the level’s hidden treasure that boosts the player’s score exponentially is an ordeal, involving finding the tower’s janitor, Gerome, to unlock the door with the treasure behind it while locating the door itself in the process. Extra points can also be accumulated by finding the eyes that teleport Peppino to brief platforming segments, separated from the main trek by their visual abstractions, like the surreal “secret” platforming levels from Super Mario Sunshine. Peppino’s total score can also be deducted if he collides with any hazards on the field, which is why being cautious of one’s surroundings is essential in climbing the stairs to success. One might think that the marks they receive are an arbitrary means to incentivize an extraneous effort from the player with no tangible reward, and fair dinkum. Still, with a game that promotes such a kinetically chaotic energy, what’s the fun in slogging along doing the bare minimum? Only by painstakingly adhering to the grade qualifications can the player truly experience the high-octane thrills of Pizza Tower. However, surpassing the prestigious S rank attempting to obtain the elusive, perfect “P” is absolute insanity, making the player emit the same exasperated banshee shrieks as Peppino in the process.
One must bone up on Peppino’s physical capabilities to ensure they are ahead of the grading curve in Pizza Tower. Given the sheer range of the chef’s dexterity, he was either a gymnast in his younger days, or the duress of his trade potentially being obliterated has sparked one hell of a fight-or-flight response. A testament to Pizza Tower’s accessibility while still nurturing a steep skill ceiling is the fact that the game’s tutorial allows the player to enact all of Peppino’s feats of acrobatics before they begin the climb, and that the player will likely feel obliged to revisit this section because of how his vast array of maneuvers is difficult to cram in one sitting. In short, navigating Peppino around the tower requires practicing a few essential moves to reach an elegant grace. This includes, but is not limited to, rolling to crawl under crevices, timing the point to jump from a wall climb so Peppino doesn’t slam his head in a corner, and coordinating a dive move that corrects the course of falling to keep the rhythm of his movement afloat. His stunts are simple in their execution but are challenging to hone to a standard of fluid expertise, which feels amazing to master after awkwardly stumbling at first. I’m still scratching my head figuring out the purpose of Peppino’s “pose button” that sees him strike a silly stance in a freeze frame like he’s modeling for a magazine’s photoshoot. Playgirl, no doubt.
Still, even if the player trains Peppino as if he’s striving for an Olympic medal, his innate set of skills will not prepare him for the stream of level gimmicks. To fully illustrate the extent of Pizza Tower’s level diversity would require referencing over twenty different levels in great detail, so I’ll have to show restraint with a handful of highlights. Another mustachioed man in the “Bloodsauce Dungeon” is generous enough to feed Peppino his spicy drumsticks, and the scorching heat of the chicken will render Peppino a walking matchstick with the ability to double jump. “GOLF” incorporates a bastardized version of the languorous sport alluded to in its title by having Peppino swing a giant ball of cheese along a track to eventually drop it in a basketball hoop. Your retired grandfather would hate it. Not since the image of a horsefly’s buzzing face in the Spongebob episode “Wormy” that I watched as a kid have I been as startled by abrupt close-ups with grating noises as in the quasi-stealth level “Don’t Make a Sound.” The ticking timer of “War,” where Peppino brandishes a heavy-duty double-barreled shotgun, is a level that will force any player glossing over the scores to experience the anxiety oozing out of Pizza Tower regardless. Levels such as “Gnome Forest” swap Peppino almost entirely for his clean-cut Mario equivalent, Gustavo, who rides around on one of the chunky rat impediments named Brick that changes the mechanics of gameplay completely. Lastly, one has to love a level simply titled, “Oh Shit!” even if globbing Peppino with melted cheese makes his sticking to the walls a tad rigid. Needless to say, one will never play the same level twice throughout Pizza Tower’s run time, which will delight the player because of their incredible diversity as well as frustrate them in tandem with reaching the apex ranks.
While the conditions aren’t as overwhelming as what it takes to perfect a level, the grades are still factored into Pizza Tower’s bosses. I neglected to mention this, but collecting the toppings is paramount to Pizza Tower’s progression, as Peppino is given a sum of money for every mushroom, sausage, and controversial pineapple he rescues. The finances earned are then traded with the tall, dapper extortionist Scott Snitch Stick, who will unveil the entrance to a boss’s domain. Like the levels, albeit in a smaller quantity, the milestone foes faced per block of the tower are distinctive and exude that patented mood of madness. Pepperman will charge into Peppino like he’s playing linebacker for the Denver Broncos, and the crawling cheese glob called “The Vigilante” will don a cowboy hat and duel Peppino with dueling action revolvers. “The Noise” is an on-the-nose parody of Domino’s retired pesky mascot “The Noid” with the same obnoxious, buck-toothed smile, while it could be argued that the gangly, deformed doppelganger of Peppino is a satirical stab at our hero…maybe. Even though every fight is prolonged to a second stage, every attack pattern the bosses dish out is entirely manageable at a first glance, making the process of perfection seem more feasible. I commend every boss for their refined tractability, but I wish the difficulty curve expanded a bit when Peppino finally climbs to the tip top of the tower to finally fight Pizzaface. Between the harbinger’s three phases, plus a boss gauntlet of all the foes before him, socking it to Pizzaface and the beanpole dork piloting the flying circle proved to be a cinch. In a game designed to make the player rife with anxiety, it’s disappointing that zero drops of stress sweat were excreted, as should happen with any final boss. That being said, the timed escape from the crumbling tower that ensues soon after will have the player sweating buckets, a subtle illustration of the game’s real strong suits. Take notes, Metroid.
Mama mia–is Pizza Tower a spicy meat-a-ball! Sorry if I offended any Italians with this cliche line, but this indie darling starring another character ostensibly from Europe’s boot has perked up my gaming taste buds. Pizza Tower’s rampant creativity spruces up bygone gameplay characteristics from 2D platformers of yore and injects them with a presentation and vibrancy that culminates in the gaming pinnacle of apeshit insanity. While the craziness of Pizza Tower might unnerve some gamers, the overall experience is surprisingly accommodating, leaving it up to the player’s volition on how much they wish for Pizza Tower to throttle them like a jagged rollercoaster with no seatbelts. In a gaming landscape where the developers at the forefront of the medium crap out bland and uninspired dreck knowing full well that people will buy it anyway, to know that there are hole-in-the-walls where gamers can still be treated to games that will transport them to the ecstasy of flavor country. Fuck the new fifty hour open-world game from Ubisoft; it’s pizza time, goddammit, and it should be mandatory to play for anyone decrying that video games are deader than disco.
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