Wednesday, November 29, 2023

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (Game) Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 11/25/2023)













[Image from igdb.com]


The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (Game)

Developer:  Heavy Iron Studios

Publisher: THQ

Genre(s): 3D Platformer

Platforms: GCN, PS2, Xbox

Release Date: October 27, 2004


The Spongebob Squarepants film released in 2004, to most fans of the Nickelodeon animated series, was the first vital benchmark for the beloved cartoon sponge. For me and most likely a fair chunk of other children who grew up during the dorky, yellow phylum Porifera’s prime in the early 2000s, his motion picture debut was the sponge’s Swan Song. Even when I was the innocent age of nine, I noticed that Spongebob’s return to the airwaves in 2005 after the movie wasn’t quite the same as it once was. The animation had creased its sharpness to look more puerile, the dialogue timing between the characters was rushed, and the plot premises of the episodes became utterly ridiculous. I seem to recall tapping out on Spongebob upon seeing an episode in the fourth season where he ugly cries and wails like an infant over fracturing his spatula, and the writers treated the melodramatic scenario without a trace of irony. Now Spongebob knows how Joan of Arc felt. Anyways, according to the online cartoon community, Spongebob has become appallingly bad since then and shows zero signs of returning to the timeless quality of its early days. Steven Hillenberg departed from the process of maintaining his cartoon creation after the movie and some corporate shills were hired on to maintain Spongebob indefinitely so Nickelodeon’s hottest property wouldn’t sink the television corporation like the Titanic once Hillenberg resigned. With three full seasons of the show beforehand with Hillenberg at the helm, The Spongebob Movie served as a marvelously compact way of sending off to the only era of the show whose existence I acknowledge. The tie-in video game released for all major platforms of the time is not as significant as its source material, but I recall it being an adequate accompaniment to the film. After brushing off the dust of nostalgia, I now realize that assessment holds only a kernel of truth.

For those of you who weren’t children in the early 2000s and somehow skipped over this event, the summary of The Spongebob Movie is as follows: Mr. Krabs is about to be executed by a shamefully bald King Neptune for swiping his regal crown from its resting place, except that the situation is a set up by Plankton in the first of many objectives in his “Plan Z” scheme to take over Bikini Bottom. To clear Mr. Krabs of the outlandish charges, Spongebob and Patrick must travel far to the enigmatic and dangerous Shell City where Plankton has sold the king’s crown off. Besides the alarming stakes of series staple character Mr. Krabs wrongfully being sent to the proverbial guillotine, Spongebob and Patrick’s (but mostly Spongebob’s) journey is heightened by the underlying theme of maturity and masculinity, proving himself worthy of the status of a man after losing the promotion to manager position of the next door Krusty Krab restaurant to the older Squidward. It’s a story of exceeding one’s potential and impressing those who underestimate you, with overt themes of masculinity and maturity that Spongebob and, to a lesser extent, Patrick are striving to exude. Or, the film is a lesson that one can earn admiration and respect from their peers and garner special attention from the ladies if they pick up the electric guitar, regardless of how weak and scrawny they are like Spongebob is.

Video games aren’t restricted by the run time of a film, so a number of select scenes from The Spongebob Movie are stretched out as video game levels. Such notable segments include the Goofy Goober bar where Patrick and Spongebob get drunk on ice cream to down Spongebob’s sorrows, the rough and tough biker bar where Spongebob and Patrick must retrieve the key to the Patty Wagon, and any swathe of driving implied by the film has been rendered as a chance to use the sandwich automobile. The abominable, monster-infested trench between the fractured road to Shell City is now fully traversable, sans the “Now That We’re Men” musical number to accompany it. While the levels do a fine job of somewhat fleshing out every conceivable scene in the movie, whether it was necessary or not, the cutscenes that glue them together to retell the movie are atrociously half-assed. Instead of playing clips from the film, that Jacques Costeau narrator provides exposition through mere screencaps from the film. For specific shots that are not found in the footage, the developers photoshopped basic Spongebob clipart that anyone can Google to dig up. I can’t help but laugh at how abysmal the presentation looks.

Immediately as the player starts controlling Spongebob through his grandeur-filled dream sequence that introduces the movie, anyone who played Battle for Bikini Bottom will notice that The Spongebob Movie plays exactly like the Spongebob game that precedes it. Yes, both games were made by the same development team, but the comparisons are downright uncanny. Spongebob and Patrick control the same, they have the same talking and collectible animations, and the hand still jumps in to keep them from dying whenever they fall off a cliff. All the developers did to mask the lack of discernibility was change the visuals a bit. Spongebob’s bubble Viking helmet has been shifted into a boxing glove, while the bubble rod base attack is now his red foam karate gloves. Spongebob can also launch a bowling ball and launch a guided missile with an ill guitar lick. You’re not fooling me, Heavy Iron Studio. I can tell that these are the same moves from your previous output with a new coat of paint! The mechanics of Patrick’s moves were at least tweaked considerably. The stupid, but lovable starfish flails his arm instead of humping as his base attack, he slams the ground with his @$$ (sorry, the game censors the name of this move with a dolphin noise) and he can cartwheel endlessly. Patrick can now also attach his tongue to a floating series of ice blocks due to Sandy no longer being featured as a playable character because her role in the movie is practically non-existent. The new mechanic revolving around these combat moves is the ability to upgrade them in a pausable menu. Once Spongebob and Patrick gather enough of the dumbbell/weight currency of differing colors, they can purchase a new upgrade to either these moves or towards another unit of health. All this mechanic did was foster forced grinding for currency because many of the upgrades, while optional, are incredibly useful to progression. Collecting currency for these upgrades becomes rather tedious, especially since the game screws the player over by diminishing the dumbbells by a value of one when revisiting levels.

Speaking of revisiting levels, the player will have to rewind to previous scenes from the movie game in order to collect more “goofy goober tokens,” the golden spatula equivalents of this game. Similarly to Battle for Bikini Bottom, the player will earn one of the main collectibles by traveling to the end of a level along a linear path. Still, the route to the primary goal in Battle for Bikini Bottom wasn’t entirely obvious, unlike the trajectory of every level in the movie game where the walls surrounding the path to victory are so enclosed that it’s more comparable to Crash Bandicoot than Banjo-Kazooie, minus that series emphasis on precision. Any deviation from this path is the additional tasks that vary in objectives. Two common ones are the rickety sponge ball and quasi-psychedelic block platforming challenges which are fairly engaging. The tighter control of the sponge ball is the closest the game comes to an honest-to-god quality-of-life enhancement. Spongebob also fights waves of enemies in a horde mode, and these are rather dull. Other challenges are locked behind a certain move like the throwing challenges for Patrick and the guitar wave challenges for Spongebob. Any level involving the Patty Wagon or slide has to be revisited from the get-go after the first challenge, and the extra activities boil down to time and ring challenges. Are all of these tacked-on extracurricular feats necessary? Unfortunately, yes, as Mindy, King Neptune’s daughter, will restrict Spongebob and Patrick from entering future levels if they fail to meet a goofy goober token requisite, which becomes fairly hefty as the game progresses. She stalled her father from executing Mr. Krabs at the last moments of the duo’s time constraint in the film but here, she’s impeding us almost as if she wants the crustaceous cheapskate’s head buttered up on a platter. Besides the extra content offering nothing of real substance, the developers should’ve stuck with a strictly linear level design rather than attempting to copy Battle for Bikini Bottom’s open format. The levels exist to prolong the exposition of the film, and revisiting past events to gather collectibles totally ruins the immersion.

Even without the challenges off to the side, The Spongebob Movie game is consistently harder than Battle For Bikini Bottom. I should be commending this game for besting the developer’s former glory in the one regard that it lacked, but the higher difficulty stems from artificial means. For one, the slide level, while never matching the mighty curves of the Kelp Vines, are egregiously long (as well as physically improbable considering that they often involve sliding upward. That’s not a slide!) endurance tests. The six or seven enemy types, who all somewhat resemble the robots from Battle for Bikini Bottom, of course, will attack Spongebob and Patrick with a barrage of enemy fire from all angles. The later levels of Battle for Bikini Bottom also compile every accumulated robot enemy, but their forces in this game are so overwhelming at times that it's almost unfair. This bombardment doesn’t become an issue until the level in which Spongebob and Patrick return to Bikini Bottom to find that it’s been transformed into a dystopian hellhole at the hands of Plankton. I lucidly recall having great trouble with this level as a kid and now as an adult, I can state with utter certainty that this level spikes up the difficulty harder than Ms. Puff at a surprise party. The same can be said for the final boss of the game, which is a brainwashed King Neptune wearing one of Plankton’s bucket helmets. Sure, it’s the final boss, but every boss up until this point (the cat lady monster creature and two encounters with Dennis) were repetitive cakewalks that did not prepare me for this in the slightest. The penultimate fight against the king of the sea is just as frantic as the previous level’s enemy squadrons, so I thank the developers for at least providing checkpoints for this duel.

I have a theory as to why The Spongebob Movie game emits sensations of being rushed as well as feeling all too familiar to Battle for Bikini Bottom. Some network executives at Nickelodeon saw the masterful work that Heavy Iron Studios put into Battle for Bikini Bottom and desperately wanted them to develop the game for the upcoming movie. The problem stemmed from the strained development time of a mere year to coincide with the timely release of the film, and that the developers couldn’t be passionate about a source material that hadn’t even been released yet during the process unlike the cartoon series that had been airing for years before Battle for Bikini Bottom was a thought. A mix of stress and lack of artistic motivation caused Heavy Iron Studios to cut corners, which explains why they simply laid out the foundation they already erected. The Battle for Bikini Bottom mold that The Spongebob Movie game was sculpted from is also the reason why this game got a pass from me back in the day because it inherently benefits from copying the previous game’s formula, and I love that game to pieces. Nowadays, the apparent laziness offends me, so The Spongebob Movie game is skating by on its inheritance no longer.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 11/17/2023)














[Image from glitchwave.com]


Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story

Developer: AlphaDream

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): JRPG

Platforms: DS

Release Date: February 11, 2009


Fantastic Voyage is a science fiction film from 1966 based on a short story from underrated science fiction writer Jerome Bixby. The film was met with mixed reception as it's more a piece of spacey, psychedelic 1960s camp than a groundbreaking, awe-striking pillar for the genre like 2001: A Space Odyssey. As lukewarm as the film’s impact was on the genre of science fiction, one resonating facet of Fantastic Voyage that managed to be impactful was the novel and brilliant premise of using the insides of someone's body as a setting, shrinking the valiant adventurers down to the size of gnat larvae to enact their perilous mission of great biological importance. I could bet that you’ve seen this concept depicted in some sort of media even before you knew this movie existed and if you have, you now know that Fantastic Voyage is where it stems from. Using the premise of Fantastic Voyage seems to be ideal for animated media as numerous cartoon series have ripped it off to fill in an easy episode block or to either tribute or parody the once unique science fiction story. Rick and Morty tactfully utilized a Jurassic Park theme park inside the body of a drunk homeless man to tackle the premise with freshness, while seemingly every conceivable Nickelodeon cartoon I grew up with simply rehashed the plot with its characters. In the realm of gaming, the king of the medium, the one and only Mario, decided to dip his toes in the ostensibly public Fantastic Voyage domain pool with Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story.

Which of the iconic Mario character’s bodies have been chosen as the vehicle to enact Fantastic Voyage’s premise? Well, it sure as hell couldn’t have been either Mario or Luigi. If you’re unfamiliar with the mechanics of Mario’s offshoot, handheld RPG series, he and his green brother are tied at the hip, hence why they finally share equal billing in the title, unlike the mainline platformer series where Mario himself is sufficient enough for the both of them. Mario diving into the insides of his taller, lankier brother to extract some maliferous presence making him sick and unsightly or vice versa would present an imbalance of narrative and gameplay weight for one character, even if Luigi is the optimal candidate to be the subject of bodily humiliation via excavating throughout his vulnerable interior. Peach would be perfect from a narrative standpoint, but Nintendo was wise to their perverse older players who would become inadvertently erotically stimulated by the prospect of venturing inside a woman and the eventual, genuine complaints that the developers boarded off all of the anatomical areas unique to the female body as prospective places to wander. No one would care about the livelihood of any of the Toads in this situation, and that apathy goes double for Peach’s butler/assistant Toadsworth. Donkey Kong is relatively canon to the Mario & Luigi series, but perhaps he vetoed the invitation to be put in a compromising position. What many might fail to consider is that there are Mario characters outside the realm of its heroes that could satisfy the role, and he’s a big boy just like Donkey Kong. The title of this Mario & Luigi game couldn’t be more on the nose with its allusion: Bowser is the subject in question for a “fantastic voyage.” Bowser is a true delight when he’s situated in a JRPG vehicle, and the fact that he’s a central character here should make everyone giddy with excitement.

I doubt Mario and Luigi would willingly help Bowser if he were struck by a cataclysmic illness under normal circumstances. In fact, Bowser succumbing to some sort of fatal disease would be a fortuitous coincidence for Mario and Luigi, letting Bowser’s health atrophy away so Mario can finally experience some well-deserved R&R with Princess Peach without Bowser swooping down and swiping her on what seems like a weekly basis. The developers also realized this fallacy that contradicted normal character relationships and conjured up a fittingly whacky catalyst for how Mario and Luigi ended up ensnared inside Bowser’s body. Rescuing Peach from Bowser’s clutches hasn’t earned Mario the privilege of exploring Peach’s insides if you catch my drift, but at least she has granted him a prestigious position in the Mushroom Kingdom government. With Luigi as his plus one, the brothers are fashionably late to an executive meeting taking place in an administrative room in Peach’s castle. The issue of utmost importance is the “blorbs” outbreak running (or should I say, rolling) rampant throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. By consuming a special mushroom sold by a seedy merchant, the toads of the kingdom have inflated to such a spherically large mass that they cannot use their legs for mobility. Upset that he’s not considered to be an essential figure in the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser angrily crashes the meeting and is duly discarded by Mario and Luigi as always. Bowser approaches the merchant selling the shrooms and consumes one that grants him the ability to inhale with the ferocious power of a Mach Five tornado (didn’t he already possess this ability in Luigi’s Mansion?). Bowser returns to Peach’s castle and just sucks up everything indiscriminately, and both Mario and Luigi are unfortunately in the crossfire, sending them to the dingy and disgusting bowels of Bowser. The introduction is definitely on par with the previous kooky setups that ignite a Mario & Luigi adventure.

I don’t believe I efficiently conveyed the extent of Bowser’s role in Bowser’s Inside Story, even in stating that he is indeed a central character in the game. In Bowser’s Inside Story, he is THE central character, the sun which all other planetary characters, even Mario and Luigi, orbit around. The DS system’s top screen is entirely dedicated to giving us Bowser’s interactive point-of-view as he attempts to reclaim the Mushroom Kingdom from this new threat responsible for the blorbs pandemic. Yes, the developers are testing out this dual-screen gimmick again but this time, the dynamic between Bowser and the two brothers is far more engaging. Playing as the baby versions of Mario and Luigi in Partners in Time was Mario and Luigi squared, a doubling of the Mario and Luigi gameplay that would be completely redundant if not for their bite-sized physicalities allowing them to squeeze through tight crevices. As one would expect from Bowser’s hulking, non-mammalian biological genotype that differs from two Italian guys, controlling him is a radically alternative procedure. Bowser stomps around the various districts of the Mushroom Kingdom leaving a trail of foot-print craters in his wake. His two primary methods of offense are a wound-up sucker punch and breathing fire, both of which are obviously beyond the capabilities of the two shrimpy plumbers. He’s certainly a strong physical force of nature and the enemies he encounters on the field attempt to match him at least in physical mass. Instead of evading enemy fire by jumping or batting objects away with a hammer, Bowser’s opposition tends to strike almost exclusively in either directional plane. To block enemies from vertically falling on him, Bowser will use his spiky damage-proof shell, while he counters any on-coming horizontal hostility by punching it away from him. Saving his loyal minions trapped in cramped and demeaning black cages on the field unlocks a special move that incorporates their aid in some fashion for a deadly attack. These moves also manage to utilize the DS stylus, a system-exclusive apparatus that I forgot existed while playing Partners in Time. Bowser even has his own separate inventory from Mario and Luigi, mixing and matching barbed neck bands like a goth girl's great dane and shells, of which I wasn’t aware could be accessorized. He also has his own food health items in the form of hot wings, for the carnivorous Bowser would probably ralph at the taste of a mushroom. Bowser is not only a blast to play on the field and in battle, but his contrasting gameplay and environment actually display a solid dichotomy between him and the two main characters, unlike the babies in Partners in Time.

Bowser’s portion of the gameplay also includes practically the entire realm of traveling around getting from point A to B, considering that Mario and Luigi can’t tread too much ground from inside Bowser’s gut. Bowser’s Inside Story decides not to go on holiday to a neighboring kingdom like in Superstar Saga and sticks to the homeland of Mushroom Kingdom as Partners in Time did. Still, the map here doesn’t resemble the one from the previous game in the slightest, with all of the notable landmarks that comprised the significant areas of the last game totally erased from existence. My theory, beyond the logical fact that the developers had to conjure up some fresh sites for a new game, is that perhaps the Mushroom Kingdom was so devastated by the Shroob invaders that the topography completely shifted upon reconstruction. What came as a result of the kingdom’s hard work is a fine conglomerate of districts that still fit the eclectic and lighthearted atmosphere of gaming’s most famous setting. Toad Town exudes a returning sense of quaint coziness that it once did in Paper Mario, with an additional air of prosperity-enhanced ritziness because of the shopping mall and cascading fountain. Just ignore the bloated Toad dumplings scattered about. Bubble Lake in the south is a wide basin filled with crisp, clear water, and Plack Beach directly to the east features boulder-sized teeth sticking out of the washing waves. It’s less gnarly than it sounds. Ultimately, the map of Mushroom Kingdom in Bowser’s Inside Story shows that the series carries over familiar area tropes that still persist three entries in. However, the game at least recalls Superstar Saga’s erratic pacing that was lost during Partners in Time, blasting Bowser all over creation mostly whenever he makes a rash decision that leads him to violently deviate from his trajectory. Not allowing the progression to flop around with the hilariously bumbling and oafish RPG Bowser would be a disservice to us all.

The map of the overworld in Bowser’s Inside Story can be excused for not offering any revolutionary settings because it shares the workload of propping up the narrative with Bowser’s insides. On the bottom half of the DS screens are Mario and Luigi attempting to survive the belly of the beast as microscopically-sized versions of themselves. One can naturally assume that the cavernous abyss of Bowser’s anatomy would be a cesspit of nightmarish imagery that only the sick and deranged would be able to imagine. Because all Mario media should ideally refrain from disturbing people, the tender, inner world of Bowser’s physical machinations takes a more fantastical approach in rendering its aesthetic. The backgrounds of Bowser’s insides are as lurid as a lava lamp, floating cellular matter streaming with a bevy of eye-catching colors. The flesh platforms in the foreground are pleasing shades of pink, inoffensive tints that will ideally not gross out the player. It’s difficult to say whether or not the psychedelic backdrop of Bowser’s insides is directly inspired by the acid-laced presentation of Fantastic Voyage, or if the Mario brand naturally verges towards the lightly surreal. Either or, Bowser’s insides are a marvel to look at. Unlike the sprawling Mushroom Kingdom map without solid borders, Bowser’s insides are constructed like a directed graph. Whenever Bowser is irritated by an ailment or a Macguffin has scurried across the confines of one internal body part, a noodle branch will sprout from the current area, represented by a translucent Bowser model with two icons of Mario and Luigi. By the end of the game, the map will resemble an X-rayed tree. Besides the RPG battles against a myriad of microbes and defensive cells trying their best to exterminate the invading Mario and Luigi, their gameplay on the “field” is entirely situated on the X-axis. At times, platforming as both the brothers is more of a chore than it was previously from a top-down perspective because Luigi drags ass behind Mario like an anchor. Eventually, the brothers return to their normal sizes and explore the surface world, but the pipe transit system they use as a passageway between it and Bowser’s body that he somehow doesn’t feel or notice requires a serious suspension of disbelief. It’s probably cleaner and less graphic than the anatomically-sound exit hole, however. Yeesh.

While Mario and Luigi’s gameplay hasn’t really shifted since the previous game, the few quality-of-life enhancements are still worthy of discussion. One of my many complaints regarding the gameplay of Partners in Time is that the player could rely too heavily on the potent “bros items'' to carry them through the game, something that I’m admittedly guilty of taking advantage of. The “bros items” still persevere into Bowser’s Inside Story, but are now streamlined as “special items.” Using the green shell or the fire flower coincides with an SP meter and is given appropriately assigned numerical amounts that keep the player from buying them in bulk and obliterating everything in sight with them. The same goes for all of Bower’s special moves as well. It’s more traditional to the standard RPG “magic meter” but hey, it’s been proven to work throughout the evolution of the genre. Beans buried in the ground are to be consumed in their rawest forms as opposed to mixing them in a hearty, caffeinated blend, and their nutritional benefits raise Mario and Luigi’s base stats. A new item called a “retry clock” will restart the battle that either Mario/Luigi or Bowser has tragically fallen on instead of having to retread ground from the last save point. All this item’s inclusion does is make me wish that it was available at times during the last two games at points when the difficulty ratcheted up the skies and beyond, and at no point does Bowser’s Inside Story match those enraging instances. However, the difficulty curve of Bowser’s Inside Story offers a consistent challenge, with enemies attacking in less predictable patterns.

The realms of Bowser in the overworld and Mario and Luigi mucking through the guts of the giant turtle are obviously as different as night and day, a contrast of reality and surreality. Even though their division seems concretely defined, the gameplay is at its most interesting in the instances when the two worlds coalesce in perfect harmony. The scenario of Bowser’s Inside Story is so ruinous for both dueling parties that they must set aside their age-old squabbles and work together for the sake of their mutual interests (Bowser regaining his castle and Mario and Luigi not suffocating in the noxious fumes of Bowser’s colon). At least, Mario and Luigi are the men behind the proverbial curtain assuring that Bowser survives the trek to his eventual upturn because if Bowser knew that his mortal nemesis was trapped inside him, he’d gleefully drown him out by chugging a gallon of Drano. Fueling the dramatic irony of the dire state of affairs comes in the form of tweaking and manipulating Bowser’s various anatomical “buttons” in the form of minigames. When Bowser is straining himself trying to lift something that weighs a ton, Mario and Luigi travel to his arm center and stimulate his muscles to give him that extra boost. When faced with a challenge to consume a Guinness record-worthy-sized carrot, Mario and Luigi act as enzymes to help him digest the orange chunks before he either vomits or explodes. Mario and Luigi help Bowser remember a code from his memory banks that are cluttered by images of Peach, and resurrecting a crushed Bowser by floating down the canal of Bowser’s rump (barf) somehow enlarges the Koopa King into a skyscraper for a short period, dueling the oversized foe that stomped on him before in epic kaiju fashion. Bowser also inadvertently aids Mario and Luigi by illuminating platforms via an X-ray machine and freezing his lungs to solidify some gooey platforms. In combat, Bowser can use his suck ability to vacuum up smaller enemies so Mario and Luigi can share the workload. This is the atypical collaboration between the Mushroom Kingdom’s most seasoned rivals we’ve always wanted because the relationship here is as fluid as a glimmering waterfall.

Naturally, several other of the Mushroom Kingdom’s denizens have gotten sucked up into this mess (no pun intended) and are integral to the narrative. Besides the legion of cookie-cutter Toads and their posh patriarch Toadsworth with whom we are familiar, the new characters that Bowser’s Inside Story adds to the roster of NPCs are a marvelous bunch. The game introduces a new species of creature to the Mario canon called “brocks,” sentient, yellow block constructions that resemble pieces of mechanical cheese. The central “brock” in Bowser’s Story is Broque Monsieur, a character so French that it’s a wonder how he’s not actually made of cheese. This mustachioed immigrant from Western Europe curates Bowser’s one-stop digital shop cube accessed by punching it. He also beseeches Bowser to find his pet “blitties' (cat-like brocks) that roam all over the map in enemy captivity. If Bowser finds all of them, Broque grants Bowser access to his mangy, cuboid dog Broggy, who functions as a special attack. This optional reward does so much damage during battle that it should be illegal. On the opposite spectrum with Mario and Luigi is Starlow, the ambassador representative of the Star Spirits introduced during the meeting who is the big Oz head taking the credit for Mario and Luigi’s deeds. At first glance, Starlow’s role as a guide character disparagingly proves that the developers did not learn from the godawful mistake that was Stuffwell, and the player should anticipate several hours of quickly clicking through dialogue boxes of condescension. While Starlow functions the same as the thing that fulfilled the same job, she succeeds whereas Stuffwell doesn’t because she has a clear, confident personality. She’s not afraid to banter with a fussy Bowser, who refers to her as “Chippy” in a begrudging, contemptful manner, nor is she stoic in times when Bowser’s insides seem like they are on the verge of collapsing. Who knew that actually adding characteristics to a character was all this role needed to transcend being insufferable?

But the strongest inclusion to the cast list of Bowser’s Inside Story is a returning character, and I’ve been having trouble maintaining my poker face for this long so I could dedicate an entire paragraph to his return. From that characteristic cackle to the abstract twisting of the English language, anyone who has played Superstar Saga will recognize this silhouetted merchant as Fawful. I was absolutely delighted that he’s back to being a central character as opposed to an easter egg relegated to the cramped corners of the Mushroom Kingdom sewer system. After regaining enough moxy to leave his squandered place off the grid, Fawful’s overtaking of Bowser’s Castle is step one in his revenge mission against the Mushroom Kingdom for conquering him and Cackletta in the first game, even though he’s completely unaware of Mario and Luigi’s presence here as Bowser is. His screen time is mostly dedicated to grieving Bowser on the field with the help of his thuggish armadillo-boar hybrid minion Midbus, resulting in comedic chemistry between the two that is as rich as one would expect. Fawful is as fun and fiendish as ever with fury and chortles galore, but the second act of his diabolical plan to seize the Mushroom Kingdom is where the game loses my attention. Fawful has discovered yet another mythical star Macguffin, the calamitous “dark star,” and is going to use its diabolically evil power to destroy all living things and reshape the world in his image. And yes, Peach is a necessary tool in awakening it once again because everyone else in the Mushroom Kingdom is apparently an amoral deviant. I am absolutely exhausted by this plot device trope in its third consecutive outing. Perhaps I expected more from this irreverent series, but it is inherently tied down to the safe and familiar Mario brand nevertheless. I would’ve been satisfied with Bowser reclaiming his castle one humorous step with Fawful at a time as the primary overarching plot, seeing the extent of how Fawful has refashioned Bowser’s estate and jurisdiction of the kingdom to the Koopa King’s chagrin. Having a theater erected in your castle that only shows films that celebrate the success of your enemy and also having to wait forever in the lobby just to get crappy seating arrangements has got to be an assault on one’s ego.

Alas, the “dark star” urgency encompasses all of the second half of the game. To combat the dark star’s potential, Mario and Luigi must first find a cure to the blorb problem whose relevance has been relatively dormant up until this task is assigned. They fight (and break the monk-like concentration of) four sages housing the materials of the cure and extract their essence, culminating in a star whose shine burns the colossal amounts of fat from the Toads and reduces them to their normal size. Everything seems wrapped up neatly once Bowser storms Peach’s Castle and confronts both Fawful and Midbus until the impudent dumbass decides it would be a grand idea to swallow the dark star to harness its power like a toddler eating something off the floor. As expected, this was not a wise decision, as the eldritch monster extracts pieces of Bowser’s DNA to shape itself into a shadowy, ghastly version of Bowser. Its new physical form is the final boss of Bowser’s Inside Story and even though it was crafted from a plot device that I am sick to death of, it offers the best final boss in the series so far. Why do I say this? Unlike Cackletta’s Ghost and the Shroob Queen, the arduous two phases that prolong the final fight to a grueling extent are divided almost simultaneously between Bowser fighting his uncanny shadow and Mario and Luigi facing its Fawful-faced essence in Bowser’s stomach. The retry clocks also help a bit as well, I suppose. The whole ordeal is far anxiety-inducing. After the final fight, Bowser is irate upon finding out that Mario and Luigi were gallivanting in his innards this whole time, but the two brothers give him a rightful ass whoopin’ for being so ungrateful. At least Peach then sends him a cake for all his troubles. Bowser should count himself lucky since this is as far as Mario’s ever gone with the princess!

By aping the premise of Fantastic Voyage as many media has done, the Mario & Luigi series has revitalized itself after its second entry somewhat faltered. Partners in Time was not an indelible stain on the series that couldn’t have been rubbed off no matter how hard the developers attempted to ebb away its middling impact. However, Bowser’s Inside Story is a far more exemplary successor to Superstar Saga because it took risks where Partners in Time didn’t. Implementing Bowser as a heroic figure, albeit as a bratty nincompoop, through the perspective of Mario and Luigi manipulating his inner sanctum was a brilliant way to rationally integrate any Mario RPG’s best and brightest (in a charismatic sense) character in the spotlight. Adding Fawful again was also a nice bit of fan service that I will gladly eat up like it's the Sunday gravy. Partners in Time didn’t realize that succeeding Superstar Saga wasn’t a matter of streamlining and smoothing over its rough patches: following up the cheekiest of Mario outings requires letting loose and paving your own trail of kookiness and unpredictability. Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story took this direction with full force and STILL added many technical improvements. It’s a strong contender not only for the best in the series but as the quintessential Mario RPG period. Paper Mario be damned.

Sunday, November 19, 2023

Pokemon Red & Blue Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 11/12/2023)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


Pokemon Red & Blue/Green

Developer: Game Freak

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): JRPG

Platforms: Gameboy

Release Date: February 27, 1996




Pokemon is Nintendo’s biggest franchise, yet it is also not their biggest franchise. This contradictory statement won’t seem nonsensical if one reflects on Pokemon’s placement among the ranks of gaming’s most celebrated kings of the industry. Sure, if one references the raw data for the sake of argument, Mario has outsold the Pokemon games by a substantial margin, mostly due to predating Pokemon by a whole decade and managing to maintain relevance as the mascot for the company since his inception. One also can’t forget Mario’s whole “saved gaming from utter collapse” act of benevolence that kept the medium from being relegated to a quaint and embarrassing time capsule of 1980s trends alongside hairspray and Knight Rider. Mario is a messianic figure in gaming with no false prophets as potential contenders, which would ultimately make my argument that Pokemon is somehow bigger than video game Jesus a moot, sacrilegious point. Still, I stand by my statement because while Mario obviously towers over all in his gaming country, his legacy and impact are relatively confined to the parameters of his initial territory. Pokemon, on the other hand, has gold-standard assets in several other pockets of entertainment. The ubiquity of the anime series and trading card game along with the video games created a tidal wave of “pokemania” that swept over the nation in the late 90s/early 2000s so ferociously that it was like a Japanese cultural invasion was occurring. I was one of the several kids who was totally enraptured by Pokemon at the time, albeit at the tail end of the pandemonium due to being born in 1996, and I can tell you that the highs of pokemania were something that even Mario couldn’t even compete with. Were kids trading cards of Luigi on the school playgrounds during recess, clamoring for the hypothetically rare one where he has the Poltergust 2000 from Luigi’s Mansion? Not hardly. Mario’s goofy early 90s cartoon couldn’t even survive cancellation after only a single season, and the Pokemon anime series is still airing new episodes to this day. Pokemon is such a powerful cultural juggernaut across the world that it’s hard to recall that it stems from a series of games made by Nintendo, untethered to its source medium, unlike Mario.

Our first exposure to Pokemon with Pokemon Red/Green (with Blue replacing Green in the west) did not ignite Pokemania, as the IP needed the trinity of the games, anime, and cards to kick the madness into full gear. Still, Red/Blue served as the foundational wick needed to light this roaring candle in the near future. Because Red/Blue is the debut appearance of the entire Pokemon property, the game is the pinnacle of primitive Pokemon artifacts, and not only because the first game is inherently rough around the edges. You see, the trinity that comprises Pokemon’s massive universality keeps one another in check, with one asset influencing the other to maintain a sense of cohesion. Because Red/Blue predates all other Pokemon media by a few years, its presentation is so coarse that it can’t be sanded over. The Pokemon models, for instance, were forever shaped by how they were drawn from the anime, so their draft-level interpretations seen here are a tad jarring, to say the least. Look at how disturbingly chunky the de facto Pokemon mascot Pikachu is in his first depiction, signifying a primordial era in Pokemon’s history when Pikachu was another number in the Pokedex instead of the face of the franchise. They’ve slimmed Pikachu down extensively since then to maintain his cute little figure for the sake of appearances, and it’s wild to comprehend a time when Pikachu wasn’t Pokemon’s prime representative. That’s how far back Red/Blue warps us. Also, it doesn’t help Red/Blue’s case that it was developed for the original Gameboy practically as the swansong for Nintendo’s first handheld console. If one didn’t know, Pokemon is a play-on compound term for “pocket monsters,” so every mainline game has been developed for one of Nintendo’s handheld consoles to coincide with its cheeky wordplay. However, in the case of Red/Blue, this means that not only will the player have to contend with pixelated people and setpieces, but the visual primitiveness of black and white muting them to the point of aesthetic blankness. It’s no wonder why not even nostalgia saves Red/Blue in the eyes of the earliest Pokemon fanatics, as they suggest respecting the first game in the franchise while giving it a wide berth with engagement. However, for as primitive as Pokemon Red/Blue admittedly is, I think that the game still retains its initial appeal because it established the foundation that every subsequent, graphically superior mainline Pokemon title would continue to emulate.

The foundation in question is the sense of adventure and conquest felt through every Pokemon game’s progression. Pokemon is a fantasy game by definition, but the pocket monsters the player will find are not dragons (or at least the vast majority of them aren’t) and they are not hiking across the stormy countryside on a mission of chivalry assigned by a king. The world of Pokemon is molded by an air of modernity, another early example of what I like to refer to as a “domestic JRPG.” Walking around the various towns and cities in Pokemon Blue as the child protagonist from a birds-eye view will surely remind any experienced gamer of the “domestic JRPG” pioneer and fellow Nintendo IP EarthBound, only without color and absurd occurrences to disrupt reality. The young protagonist, whose canon name is the color of the game of the player’s choosing, is but a normal lad of early adolescent age who resides in a small town with his mom, spending his time playing the SNES in his room (the fashionable Nintendo console of the time). Apparently, pokemon are the crux of the Japan-inspired land of Kanto’s cultural and economic backbone, creating a society contingent on interacting, studying, and mastering the 151 different breeds of the wild beasts that roam throughout the country. Don’t worry, the society here doesn’t treat the notion of committing to a pokemon-related career with such insularity like in Harry Potter with wizardry. The player will see plenty of nurses, engineers, scientists, and fishermen along their journey who merely dabble with Pokemon as a hobby. In the protagonist's case, he yearns to be a pokemon master, the equivalent of becoming a professional athlete in the pokemon world. Pokemon Masters are held in the same glorious regard as rockstars, and that’s exactly what the adventure feels like. Every Pokemon game progresses to exude the sensation of a musician or band going on tour, stopping at the eight most populous areas in the country and challenging the gym leaders for their coveted badges before collecting all of them and finishing this renowned tour by defeating the Elite Four at the Indigo Plateau. Or, at least the tour is akin to playing in dive bars at first and then progressing to the pokemon equivalent of Madison Square Garden at the tail end of it. Who sponsors this tour for every eager, young pokemon master in the making is unclear. Even though this tour is being rendered by primitive visuals, this ambitious venture retains its spectacle nevertheless. By the time the player can conveniently come home or arrive organically back to Pallet Town after circling around Kanto, the wash of exhaustion and satisfying growth since they’ve left is still a palpable feeling.

But pokemon are not sterile tools on the player’s tour like instruments, amplifiers, or other pieces of equipment. The relationship between humans and pokemon is a precious bond with a deep, mutual understanding of each other's needs. Pokemon are more effective virtual pets than the Tamagotchi could ever dream to be, and the loving pact between man and his high-octane animal friends begins even before the player touches the grass past Pallet Town. In the player’s hometown is the laboratory of grandfatherly pokemon researcher Professor Oak, who has the player choose one of three pokemon as a “starter pokemon.” Picking a pokemon from a laboratory table at the beginning is one of the franchise’s most treasured tropes that persists for every single Pokemon game that would follow. These three pokemon are exclusive to this lab, so one must put their choice into heavy consideration. Red/Blue also begins the tradition of the three starters contrasting each other with the elemental typings of grass, fire, and water. Because they are the first of their kind, the spotted, plant amphibian Bulbasaur, the orange, flame-tailed lizard Charmander, and the aquamarine turtle with a squirrel tail Squirtle are some of the brightest stars synonymous with the Pokemon series. Their fully evolved forms are the photographic representatives for the box art of each respective version of the game, so they and their lineage probably shared equal billing as series mascots before the anime cemented the staticky yellow rat into the prestigious position so deeply that nothing can conceivably touch him. Like all things that come in pairs, the question of which one of the three Red/Blue starters triumphs over the other two goes down as a contentiously heated nerd debate like Kirk versus Picard or if Disney violated the legacy of Star Wars more brutally than George Lucas did with the prequels. Personally, I adore all three of the buggers, but I forewarn people against selecting Charmander because the player will be inadvertently signing themselves up for a glorified hard mode. Still, whether or not the pokemon you’ve chosen has doomed you to suffering prematurely, you’ll never want to stash it in Bill’s cramped, virtual pokemon storage box. Your first Pokemon’s growth coincides with your own because they’ve been present on the journey for the same length of time, and the connection that stems from their matchless tenure with you forms an aura of genuine sentimentality. Other JRPG parties simply cannot compete with Pokemon’s tenderness through pet-like companionship.

So why is Charmander the black sheep of the starting roster when he and his winged, dragon-like evolved form Charizard are easily the most popular of the three? Because Kanto’s odds seem to be stacked against the fiery little lizard. More so than incremental RPG leveling through experience, the core of Pokemon’s combat is a rock, paper, and scissors mechanic interconnected between fifteen distinctive elemental types that all Pokemon fall under. For example, the reason why Charmander is totally screwed early on is because its innate fire nature makes it weak against rock and water, the elemental themes for the first two Kanto gyms. By the time the player reaches bikini-clad water type leader Misty in Cerulean City, at least the player can fry her Pokemon into crispy fish sticks with Pikachu’s thundershock move. Good luck beforehand when you hit the brick wall (or rock wall in this context) with Brock’s rock Pokemon with any of the bugs scattered about Viridian Forest to assist your poor, defenseless Charmander. With Bulbasaur and Squirtle, rock-em sock-em Geodude and the intimidatingly massive rock basilisk Onix will immediately crumble, and that goes double for Misty’s pokemon when Bulbasaur absorbs all of their valuable moisture with his hearty, green leaves. If you couldn’t infer from the radically alternating outcomes, matching the opponent’s pokemon with their contrasting element is paramount to becoming victorious in a pokemon battle. The dynamics between grass, fire, and water are fairly self-explanatory, but how to combat the more cerebral types of pokemon is a tad confusing as their weaknesses aren’t as grounded in logic. Ground’s effectiveness towards rock and electric types is reasonable because of erosion and earthquakes sending society back to the stone age by knocking out their electrical power. However, I cannot fathom why it is also effective against poison. I also can’t comprehend why poison is weak against psychic unless the developers are trying to convey some pseudo-hippy bullshit that meditation can cure illness and disease.

Actually, this is really just a segway to discuss how psychic is the mischievous snake of an elemental type that disrupts the balance of Red/Blue’s mechanics. The few psychic types in the game, namely pokemon ``Nostradamus” Alakazam and the disturbing dream eater Hypno, are so overpowered that they will KO even those who aren’t especially vulnerable to psychic moves with one of their weaponized brain blasts so devastating they’d make Professor X’s nose start bleeding. There are two types that are technically effective against psychic types and no, they are not advanced calculus and a stealthily executed bullet to the back of the head. Bug and ghost are intended to be psychic’s weakness under the rationale that the two are common psychological fears, but the pokemon that fit the classifications are hardly the kryptonite vital in taking down these poke’men of steel. Bug types have abysmally low stats, the lowest of all the pokemon types on average, and most of them like Beedrill and Venomoth are bug-poison hybrids that will ultimately fall to the might of the psychic pokemon in seconds. An even crueler joke is that the only ghost pokemon line of Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar are half poison types as well, so catching one in Lavender Town will still leave the player shit out of luck. The developers engaged the “mind over matter” philosophy as a serious credo, causing a schism in the harmony of the almost perfect elemental mechanics of Pokemon. Dragon types are just as unfairly unbalanced but the player will only face three of them at the end of the game, and there are plenty of substantial ice pokemon with deadly freezing moves to thwart them.

Because no pokemon is perfect despite how a trainer may unconditionally feel about their precious partners, it’s essential to form an eclectically diverse team and build their strength. The tagline and core tenet of the Pokemon franchise is “gotta catch ‘em all!” which should ideally coax the player into sinking enough time and effort to round up all 151 of the beasts. Realistically, due to the finite limit of six per party, I’d suggest finding eight or so pokemon to use in a revolving squadron. The vast majority of Pokemon will not be handed to the player on a silver platter like their starter, which means they’ll be forced to proactively seek out worthy applicants in the tall grasses, abandoned buildings, caves, and by fishing to encounter wild pokemon. The last sliver of the wild pokemon’s health should signify that it’s time to chuck a pokeball to capture the creature if one is so inclined, and they’ll stay in their pint-sized incubator as a member of the player’s party until they are summoned for battle. I hear the interior of the ball is roomier than one might think, but I still remain skeptical. Besides one’s starter who is among the top percentile of base stats, I recommend adding a flying pokemon and a water pokemon for those who passed on Squirtle to the posse. HMs are moves that the player can teach their pokemon exactly like TMs, but the main difference is that the pokemon can use them outside of battle. Fly and Surf allow for a smoother retread of Kanto’s hilly and ruptured landscape whenever the player is forced to travel, plus they are highly effective moves during battle as well. The other two HMs, cut and strength, will merely produce a scratch on any foe, so designate the role of junior deputy HM bitch to a pokemon who can learn both whenever there is a long swath of traversal. Other than that, the key to an effective pokemon sextet is selecting those with adequate base stats relative to what your starter pokemon is lacking in elemental advantages.

But your starter pokemon, namely Charmander, won’t be a sitting duck who needs a battalion of support to survive for long. Through the typical leveling mechanic found in every JRPG comes one of the most interesting and engaging facets of Pokemon. At level 16 for each starter, they will evolve once into Ivysaur, Charmeleon, and Wartortle respectively, and then Venusaur, Charizard, and Blastoise around the level 32-36 range. Pokemon is really a window into a Darwinian case study, exploring how these creatures adapt to the growing severity of battle rather than their physical environments. As one could infer from the nature of evolution, the advanced forms of each Pokemon that are able to evolve are stronger and far more durable than their cuter, pre-evolved versions. While your Pokemon will become less cuddly, evolving is just as essential to battle as elemental pairings. Out of every pokemon capable of evolving, there isn’t a clearer indication of this point than with Magikarp. The useless, dopey orange fish who simply splashes about evolves into Gyarados at level 20, a sea beast behemoth so intimidating and terrifying that pirates probably tell spooky tales of it while drunk. You’ll be thankful that you didn’t chop up that Magikarp into sashimi and feed it to your other pokemon, as tempting as that sounds. There are a handful of pokemon that don’t evolve, but I’d say that Lapras, Tauros, and the fighting Hitmon brothers are already proficient with their base capabilities. For those that do evolve, fighting the pokemon of your fellow trainers who will challenge you once you cross their line of sight provides a consistent stream of battle experience. A small selection of pokemon can also evolve with elemental stones and by trading with another player via a Gameboy link cable. Not only is evolution important, but the process is also just as exciting for the player. While the stark familiarity one definitely has for every single one of the first 151 pokemon might void the element of surprise with what a pokemon will evolve into, the personal milestone of evolving a pokemon after using it for so long is still gratifying.

That epic aura felt from a Pokemon adventure is due to the chunks of content besides collecting gym badges. Any game’s pacing is always elevated by a consistent deviation from the main objective, and Pokemon succeeds in this aspect with the circular trek around Kanto. Gyms, where the player earns the badges, are located in metropolitan areas, surrounded by several other establishments that usually include a Pokecenter and a marketplace. As architectural sensibilities would dictate, the various cities of Kanto are not packed together like a bento box. Numbered interstate roads branch off of the cities, connecting them all by a sensible distance like an actual country. On the rural pathways between destinations lies the organic elongation of the pokemon journey. While I appreciate that these places flesh out the poke'nation of Kanto, I wish that caves didn’t comprise so goddamn many of them. Being bombarded by an endless slew of pokemon (mostly Zubat) while trying to navigate through the wet, labyrinthian darkness is a maddening excursion, and I’m always relieved and always scream FREEDOM whenever I find the exit. Sure, repel items will stave off the hordes of pokemon for a short period, but they are not purchasable before the instance of difficulty curve whiplash that is Mt. Moon, which is located directly right of the very first gym badge. Once the player is inhibited from traveling linearly to Saffron by both a road closing and a sleeping Snorlax parked along the path, this is the point where progressing around Kanto gets interesting. Navigating around the lazy, fat tub of lard before giving it a rude awakening with the sound of a flute gives the player the freedom of tackling on-edge Lt. Surge, cool and collected Erika, disciplined Koga, mysterious Sabrina, and the hot-headed Blaine in whichever order they please, a random roulette of five of eight gym badges. Along those zigzagging trajectories are a trove of sites unrelated to the main quest like the gamified Safari Zone in Fuschia City, the morbid pokemon gravesite of Lavender Tower where a disquieted Marowak spirit is in a state of unrest, and a relaxing ride on the ritzy S.S. Anne Cruise ship. Pokemon Red/Blue’s B plot that will often distract the player from collecting badges is Team Rocket, a uniformed organization of fundamentalists that use pokemon to enact acts of terrorism. They are led by the sinister Giovanni, who happens to be the final gym leader in Viridian City which might signify a prevailing corruption in the Pokemon League. Defending the peace from these whack jobs provides another solid quest parallel to the main one, but traversing through their places of operation is just as vexing as any of the caves. The black and white graphics visually muddle every floor of the eleven-story Silph Co. building, leaving me as hopelessly lost as a guinea pig in a test maze.

Finally gathering all of the gym badges from all across Kanto is always a prideful accomplishment, but the adventure is far from over. Over yonder, the western path from Viridian City is the final test of the player’s mettle that will prove their status as a pokemon master at Victory Road (which is yet another fucking cave). At the apex point of this vertical ascension is the Indigo Plateau where the Elite Four reside. If the gym leaders are high school teachers, the Elite Four collective are Ph.D. professors, the leading experts in their field in the Pokemon world. Each member of the Elite Four uses the strongest ensemble of pokemon revolving around a vague elemental theme, and the player will have to fight each of them in order without having all of their Pokemon faint. Failing to do so will result in starting from square one with the first Elite Four member, so the stakes are quite imposing. Stocking up on full restores will sadly not affirm a victory in this strict test of might, however. The Elite Four’s pokemon range from levels 53-62, and the total amount of experience gained through fighting trainers, Team Rocket, and gym leaders will not suffice in matching those numbers for six separate pokemon. To stand a fighting chance against these esteemed Kanto leaders, the player is forced to enact a blistering grinding regimen for so long that all the steps taken to get to this point will feel like forever ago. This tedious process persists for every Pokemon game afterward and is what I dread upon replaying each game in the series.

From all that I’ve described, the world of Pokemon seems like a brutally competitive place. What it takes to succeed in this environment is an ego-driven pursuit to be the best while callously dominating all that stands before you on your way up to the glorious ranks. I stated that a strength of Pokemon was a tender relationship with your pokemon, but using them to step over everyone all throughout the game could prove otherwise that the bond is purely transactional. What verifies that extra layer of emotional substance in Pokemon is comparing and contrasting the adventure arcs between the player and their rival. He started his venture the same day you did and what everyone can immediately deduce from his initial interaction is that he is an insufferable prick. He’s impatient, obnoxious, arrogant, and always undermining your abilities as a trainer from the get-go. Even though you beat him every time he decides to randomly pop his head out anywhere in Kanto, he always has the higher ground in some respects. His adventure is better financed because he’s Professor Oak’s grandson, plus the starter pokemon he chooses is always the type advantage of the one the player selects. Unexpectedly, the rivalry peaks when it’s revealed that your rival has defeated the Elite Four just before you arrived, and he’s the last challenge in the endurance gauntlet to snatch his newly awarded champion title for yourself. While his Pokemon are higher levels than even that of the Elite Four, your rival is somehow easier to subdue than any of the over-qualified members before him. Professor Oak makes an entrance after the final battle to lecture his grandson on treating his pokemon like servants instead of friends, the factor that led you to victory over the snooty little shithead. Pokemon establishes its warm ethos by presenting a foil to the protagonist, a lesson in how unadulterated aggression in battle is not the key to victory.

If you’ve played one Pokemon game, you’ve essentially played all of them. This is both a minor indictment of the series as a whole and a point of validity to the first outing of Pokemon Red/Blue. Its impact on the gaming landscape is something that no other Pokemon title can proudly bestow as some people are still lumping the entirety of the storied franchise with just its early Pokemania era. I completely understand why fans disassociate with this particular entry because of its primitiveness, which I began to sympathize with at certain points of jaggedness relating to its graphics. Besides the few instances of the visuals inadvertently causing more strife in the caves and other tangled dungeon-esque environments the game offers, criticizing the visuals of Red/Blue is a shallow assessment. Pokemon Red/Blue still retains that Pokemon magic by providing a poignant adventure of growth and self-actualization.

(Originally published to Glitchwave on 11/20/2023)





















[Image from glitchwave.com]



Pokemon Yellow

Category: Expanded Game

Release Date: September 12, 1998




The Pokemon anime is arguably the biggest franchise-defining factor in the trinity of its assets. Television has a much wider audience pool than gaming could possibly imagine, so it's likely that the largest common denominator discovered Pokemon through stumbling upon it while flipping through channels and making their own assessments about this bewildering fad from across the Pacific Pond. Its higher popularity compared to the niche of its video games and trading cards dictated the course of how the franchise will operate from here on out. Refer to the rising star power of Pikachu as the definitive figure of the franchise because of his deuteragonist role in the anime, and you’ll agree with my stance. The anime has influenced all of the other facets of Pokemon in sizable doses, but the biggest extent to which the developers tried to capitalize on the anime’s substantial popularity is with Pokemon Yellow.

Pokemon Yellow is basically Red/Blue with anime protagonist Ash at the helm of the adventure as opposed to the Red or Blue character avatars. Ash receives a Pikachu as his starter instead of giving him the choice of three different pokemon, and it cannot evolve into a Raichu because of Pikachu's aversion to change in the anime. However, it does adorably follow around Ash everywhere like a lost cat, and this additional interactivity from the starter Pokemon should ideally increase the personable bond between a boy and his pokemon. Gary is the immutable name of the rival character, who will be granted an Eevee that evolves based on the player’s performance during his encounters. Jessie and James, the flashy, incompetent Team Rocket duo from the anime are recurring bosses who attempt to steal Ash’s Pikachu, along with their talking Meowth who sounds like he’s from Brooklyn. The progression of Ash’s Kanto adventure also subtly directs him toward the same team he has in the anime, which is why the player can eventually receive all three starter pokemon from Red/Blue. Unlike Pikachu, all of these starters can evolve, meaning that the player could potentially have three of the strongest pokemon in Kanto of differing types on their person. Sweet!

From a gaming standpoint, at least Pokemon Yellow uses its hindsight to remaster some of the jarring aspects present in Red/Blue, and there sure were a lot of them. For starters, locking the player to electric-type Pikachu when Brock is shortly on the horizon seems like a cruel joke, but fighting-type Mankey is present in Viridian Forest to break Brock’s rock pokemon in half. The pokemon sprites resemble those of the anime, and the drawings of a bonafide illustrator surpass that of the binary pixels that rendered the first drafts of every pokemon’s early designs The colors of the Gameboy Color console that succeeded the Gameboy also allow these refined pokemon depictions flourish, along with a color-coded health bar that coincides with the damage done to a pokemon in battle.

Is Pokemon Yellow a licensed game? It functions as a truncated version of the events of the popular anime series, which practically runs parallel to the story of Red/Blue with a bunch of dumb shit injected in between to elongate the length into a TV series. It may have several perks that the original Red/Blue doesn’t, but it lacks the same scope of those games because the player is assisting Ash on his path to glory as opposed to one for their own taking. Pokemon Yellow is Pokemon Red/Blue with gimmicks that would solely appeal to fans of the anime who might foolishly believe that this is a licensed adaptation of the Pokemon anime (or at least at the time). Frankly, I’m offended at Game Freak’s gall to retcon their original vision to accommodate this demographic.

Wednesday, November 15, 2023

DuckTales Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 11/2/2023)














[Image from glitchwave.com]


DuckTales

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Genre(s): 2D Platformer

Platforms: NES

Release Date: September 14, 1989


Licensed games aren’t inherently bad in theory, but a certain context to these stigmatized titles gives them their heinous reputation in the gaming landscape. They already have the perk of familiarity, and the brands that the companies tend to pick from are ones recognized by children, their most impressionable demographic. This exploitative measure by the titans of industry is always seemingly a sure-fire recipe for success in their eyes. They think that recognizability will boost the base profits compared to a new, original IP and that children will be so enveloped in the comfort of interacting with their favorite media brand through gaming that they’ll neither notice nor care that they compromised on overall quality. These greedy bastards fail to consider that a child’s intelligence, especially concerning something they spend a fair margin of mental energy towards, is of higher critical capacity than the consumer zombies the industry perceives them as being. Because the gaming industry insists on faltering with licensed games to this day, churning them out half-baked has resulted in dire consequences. To highlight the serious effects of a poorly prepared licensed game, E.T. on the Atari 2600 was so atrocious that it's notorious for (allegedly) causing the video game crash of 1983. If Nintendo hadn’t resurrected the interest in gaming two years later, gaming would be deader than the dinosaurs and also just as antiquated. You’d think the industry would’ve learned a valuable lesson from the E.T. meteor whose impact almost rendered gaming extinct but like a junkie, they dip back into the drug that almost killed them on a daily basis and continue to flirt with disaster. As I previously stated, licensed games are not chained to the realm of mediocrity, despite how many rotten examples one could list to disprove my statement. If they’re given the same love and care as any one of gaming’s homegrown games with respect for the original source material, a licensed game can resonate with any gamer past the surface point of familiarity. Arguably, the first licensed game to shed a few pounds off of the negative weight of the licensed game breed is DuckTales for the NES.

I understand that DuckTales was a revered cartoon series in its day, an adaptation of a long-running comic book of the same name. I claim to only recognize this from a distant standpoint because the cartoon predates my existence by almost a decade and I’m not willing to immerse myself in the entirety of the cartoon’s three-season duration for the sake of research. Apparently, DuckTales revolves around pioneering Disney bigwig Donald Duck’s extended family but does not include the staple peer of Mickey Mouse in any capacity whatsoever. Instead, the focal character for this Donald Duck offshoot is his uncle Scrooge, the Scottish, anthropomorphized parallel to Ebeneezer Scrooge from the Disney adaptation of A Christmas Carol. He’s also accompanied by the colored duck triplets of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, as he’s taken legal guardianship of them. I do not know what the young girl duck’s relation is to Donald Duck or why she is helping Scrooge on his quest to travel the world and amass an abundance of treasure, but she will randomly appear as often as any of the boys in the levels. According to those who are older than me and who were fans of the cartoon series during its initial broadcast, the cast of characters along with the premise of Scrooge pillaging the world of its shiniest valuables in competition with his equally rapacious mallard rival, Flintheart Glomgold, proves that the developers certainly did their homework with the source material. I’m just going to have to trust them on that.

To assure that DuckTales wouldn’t sink into the cesspit with the rest of its maligned licensed game contemporaries, the development job was given to Capcom, one of the most well-regarded third-party video game developers of the NES era and even today. Half-assing a licensed game with Capcom at the helm was out of the question, for a lackluster release with their name printed on it would be detrimental to their stellar reputation. Even though I’m sure adapting a Western cartoon in the interactive medium was an alien prospect for the Japanese company, Capcom evidently made the wise choice to stick with what they excelled at. The following screen after selecting a difficulty option in the main menu that sees Scrooge sitting at a comically-sized computer will signal the first clear indication that Capcom crafted this game. Popularized by their iconic Mega Man series, the levels in DuckTales can be completed in a non-linear fashion (except for the African Mines which need to be unlocked with a key obtained from the Transylvania level listed above). The levels are an eclectic mix of fun, kooky themes as the ones from any Mega Man title, loosely inspired by the varied climates of real-world locations. The Amazon is a humid jungle where Scrooge channels his inner Pitfall Harry swinging on green vines, Transylvania is the interior of a gothic Eastern European palace akin to Castlevania, the African Mines are rich with healthy, brown soil, and the lofty elevation of the Himalayas makes for an appropriate snow level. Lastly (or so if the player chooses), the celestial outskirts of The Moon are pure, 8-bit bliss in every sense. What seems to meld these levels together in some sort of thematic cohesion is the fact that these areas are infamous for allegedly housing unspeakable fortunes in their deep catacombs, and most of the intrepid excavators have perished in their attempts to find it. Scrooge is obviously too foolishly covetous to heed the warning.

Besides the excellent presentation and diverse level themes, the true magic of the levels in DuckTales is how surprisingly rich their designs are. Upon selecting The Amazon as the first level to at least attempt, entering a cavern and ascending back to the surface after evading some hanging spiders eventually came around full circle back to the underground entrance. I was genuinely confused, for most 2D platformers of the pixelated eras tend to trek the player down linear pathways with the primary caveat of surviving the enemies placed as deadly obstacles along the way. Any alternate routes provided to the player ultimately lead to the same destination. The levels in DuckTales are far too small to justify offering a map, but their intricacies still interest me in seeing it charted out with some semblance of gaming cartography. Transylvania plays with the surreal sublimeness of mirrors as a means of teleportation around the castle, while Scrooge must retreat back from the straight path on the Moon and return with a gadget that blows away a rather obtrusive piece of the orbital rock to kingdom come. The game will also reward the player charitably for discovering hidden passageways with additional diamonds and health items. As for my awkward scrape in the Amazon, climbing up one of the vines instead of swinging on them as my gaming experience trained me to do brought me back on track. The extent of labyrinthian level design here in DuckTales wasn’t even a pervasive trend with gaming’s original 2D platformer properties.

Another reason why providing a map in DuckTales would be unnecessary is that the player will ideally become familiar with the layout of the levels organically through repeated visitations. Still, I wouldn’t classify DuckTales as an example of the typically onerous “NES hard” label. If games like Ninja Gaiden and Contra are diamonds, DuckTales is a firm Zircon. It would probably alarm many to learn that DuckTales provides zero continues after the player exhausts all three of their lives, a rather steep disciplinary tactic for the game to implement. However, I’m not clamoring for a password system because DuckTales balances the austerity of a typical NES game with plenty of perks to avert one’s untimely fate. Ice Cream and cake literally rain down from the sky to heal Scrooge, a diabetic’s nightmare coming to life that relieves the Scottish duck of his wounds he cannot afford not to subside. Because health items are constantly generated by what is practically divine intervention, DuckTales is perfectly accommodating to stave off the strict penalties of failure.

Even with health items stocked aplenty, this aspect of the game design in DuckTales does not guarantee that the player will easily skate through the game. One finicky facet of DuckTales is the controls. Despite his advanced age, Scrooge manages to compete with all the other platforming characters competently in terms of mobility. In fact, Scrooge’s pogo technique where he hops on enemies from above with his cane was such a distinctive ability for a platformer character that Scrooge could patent the maneuver and reap royalties from all future games that would ape it. Knowing Scrooge, he’d do it in a heartbeat. What a character that is obviously spry and nimble needs a walking cane in the first place is a mystery to me, but I digress. While pogoing off of enemies is a unique thrill, the issue is that it is Scrooge’s only means of offense. Scrooge cannot bat his fine piece of woodworking anyway but downward in the air. Boulders and other debris can be swung upward like Scrooge is swinging a golf club to hit enemies from afar, but these are only in convenient circumstances when the game provides such supplementary objects. Being restricted to the pogo move in most scenarios makes for awkward encounters with a good handful of enemies, getting damaged unfairly when all Scrooge needs is the ability to swipe his cane like a sword.

Fortunately, all of the bosses in DuckTales are accommodating to Scrooge’s offensive restrictions. At the end of each level, fighting a boss will earn Scrooge the primary treasure. Because each of the bosses, ranging from the yeti to the giant rabid rat, leave themselves vulnerable by halting momentum after hopping around, they should be dispatched easily. Unfortunately, the consistent ease of boss battles extends to the final one against Duckula and Glomgold. My dissatisfaction stems from the second portion where Glumgold reveals himself and Scrooge has to race him to the “ultimate treasure” on top of a towering column because all Scrooge has to do is touch it and the game is complete. While we’re on the subject, the entire final section after completing all of the levels in DuckTales is quite underwhelming. A message from Glomgold states that if Scrooge wants the treasures back, he’ll have to return to Transylvania, catapulting Scrooge back to the Gothic manor. I assumed that the final boss and level were a completionist bonus and that I overlooked some sort of hidden artifact that unlocks the route to the game’s true ending. Instead, the last section is sincerely just traveling through Transylvania once again without any alterations whatsoever. Referencing Mega Man again, Capcom is the king of crafting fittingly epic final levels in their games, but DuckTales managed to falter nonetheless. A stressed development time could be the culprit, perhaps.

DuckTales isn’t merely a rare example of a licensed game that succeeded. DuckTales is one of the shining examples of a 2D platformer game that cements the legacy of Nintendo’s first foray into the console market. Does it still exhibit some unflattering jaggedness associated with this early pixelated era of gaming? It certainly does but to its credit, all of the highly regarded original IPs of the time are just as guilty. While on equal par with the other NES classics on its negative aspects, what makes DuckTales stand out above its peers with more gaming credibility is its exquisite level design and its tasteful approach to the difficulty that numerous NES games struggle with. A plethora of fresh mechanics that DuckTales helped popularize changed the course of gaming for the duration of the sidescroller generations, and the fact that these innovations came from a licensed game is truly a marvel to behold.

Monday, November 6, 2023

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 10/30/2023)














[Image from glitchwave.com]


Resident Evil 3: Nemesis

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Genre(s): Survival Horror

Platforms: PS1, Dreamcast, PC

Release Date: September 22, 1999


I don’t think there is a clearer example of the trilogy pattern in gaming than the first three Resident Evil games on the PS1. What I’m referring to, if you’ve never read one of my reviews before, is the arc of quality that fluctuates over three games in the same series and the pattern one can discern of how the IP grows and evolves. The first game introduces a template of the franchise’s tropes, while some gameplay mechanics tend to be inherently rough-hewn and unrefined due to lacking the hindsight of a debut effort. For the sequel, the second title is granted a treasure trove of hindsight, and they use this to smooth out the coarse gameplay elements with a far better understanding of the franchise’s idiosyncrasies. This results in the peak of what the first game established by flourishing its framework to an outstanding degree, crafting the finest experience the franchise has to offer. The third game is then released as an opportunistic endeavor to capture that lightning-in-a-bottle effect generated from the second game’s positive reception. Instead of finding ways to perfect the already solid source of the second game, the third game tends to add some overblown elements while streamlining the gameplay for the sake of accessibility. It indicates that the developers have slightly overstepped and that it’s closing time for the series. I did not overtly mention the first three Resident Evil games in this explanation, but I’m sure that anyone who has played every game in this PS1 trilogy knows that this subsequent progression of games fits it like a glove. Of course, I realize that placing RE 3 in this position already sets a negative precedent for this review, so brace yourselves for paragraphs criticizing how Resident Evil 3: Nemesis took the franchise’s survival horror properties and adulterated it with the overblown sins a threequel usually commits.

Technically, from a narrative standpoint, RE3 is a direct sequel to RE2 only on the basis that the number in the title is the successive follow-up in numerical order. We do not witness how the T-Virus outbreak has expanded beyond the parameters of Raccoon City and the Arklay Mountain outskirts with global panic ensuing in the streets. Apparently, the singular situation in Raccoon City seen in the second game was so monumentally cataclysmic that we needed ANOTHER storied account from yet another perspective. The person’s point of view, however, should come as a pleasant surprise as it's S.T.A.R.S. member Jill Valentine from the first game. Chris’s backpacking conquest across the pond was evidently a solo venture removed from his police adjacent outfit, so Jill is an unfortunate victim of circumstance in the Raccoon City pandemic, who did not fully anticipate this zombie pandemonium occurrence if her comparatively tarted-up civilian clothing is any indication. Her mission now is to use her special training as an advantage in surviving the chaos.

Jill not only gets the special distinction as the first returning Resident Evil protagonist but one that soaks up the entirety of the spotlight as the sole primary protagonist of RE 3. There are no mirrored events to Jill’s in another campaign playing as another character. Only one playthrough of RE3 with the little lady from S.T.A.R.S. is necessary to grasp the full breadth of the game’s story. However, I still somewhat recommend playing RE3 twice as a lark to experience what should be the soonest of Capcom’s “bright ideas” to spot that were implemented for the third game. Capcom has decided to (literally) cut out the middleman and omit the normal difficulty selection as an option, offering a “hard” difficulty for the seasoned Resident Evil veterans and an “easy” difficulty level for the flock of newbies that they anticipated would now be interested in playing their popular survival horror series. Despite how it may initially seem, forcing the two types of players to accede to what is a stark division of skill levels isn’t completely baffling. One could argue that someone who has survived two outings in a hostile, zombie-infested environment should challenge themselves by ramping up the stakes of their third excursion. On the opposite end of the spectrum, uninitiated players should keep it breezy so as to not taint their first impressions of the series and deter them from all other Resident Evil titles as a result. I chose to play on hard not only because of the rationale listed above but to also preserve any somewhat tangible gamer credibility that I suspect I might have (but probably don’t). As it turns out, with a few exceptions, RE3’s hard mode doesn’t ratchet up the base difficulty from RE2’s normal mode too drastically. Jill begins her trek out of the city with a pistol carrying a modest sum of ammunition as Leon did, and she must collect the formidable firearms as the game progresses. On the flip side, easy mode is so facile that it's hilariously condescending. The player is automatically blessed with a submachine gun, a first-aid pack, an infinite number of ink ribbons, and a whole other bunch of goodies. The developers forgot to include a bib and highchair for anyone playing on this difficulty, but perhaps they couldn’t have fit those in the finite inventory. I kid, of course, but my sincere issue with the unbalanced choice of difficulty here is that a normal difficulty is the solid base of any game’s intentions. Whenever I play or replay a game for a review, I always pick the normal (if difficulty options are offered) option, even if it’s a game I’ve played religiously and am exceptionally skilled at. Without this option, I cannot ascertain what the game is truly attempting to prove with its gameplay, which is why the normal mode is impeachable while the other options aren’t.

What is seriously included in the player’s inventory as a housewarming gift are two tutorial journals that detail every single new aspect that the developers have implemented for RE3. If they felt it necessary to implore the player to read a manual’s worth of text to prepare them for their playthrough, you know the great lengths they went to keep the franchise's familiar formula from stagnating. The result of their efforts is new mechanics and attributes that substantially change the fabric of Resident Evil’s gameplay, and I’m not entirely sure that it’s for the better. For starters, the player might notice what looks like a grinder contraption straight out of shop class in their inventory. One of the journals states that this is the Reloading Tool which is used to craft ammunition with three different types of gunpowder coinciding with the handgun, shotgun, and grenade launcher. One might raise a concern that this new utility mixer will take up valuable space in Jill’s inventory, a stationary position due to ammo pickups regressing into their unprocessed forms. Fortunately, the usual packs of bullets are still located abound on the Raccoon City streets, so carrying around the damn thing at all times won’t be necessary. However, it still comes recommended if Jill has a square of inventory space to spare because the high-caliber ammo the Reloading Tool can craft is highly effective. The journal tells Jill to keenly look for sizable red objects in the foreground, for shooting them with one bullet will cause a fiery explosion that could potentially blow a swarming pack of zombies to kingdom come, a nifty method of ammo conservation. The explosive barrels will definitely spark a “eureka!” moment for the player, for their prevalence as auxiliary offenses in first-person shooters makes their inclusion here a borderline cliche. The bombs that cling to the wall, on the other hand, confused me for health stations for a second, so I guess familiarity is important. Arguably the most significant alteration to the gameplay is the addition of the dodging mechanic. If timed correctly when unarmed or holding a gun, Jill will duck, jump, or roll out of harm’s way. A skill-based way to better mitigate potential damage seems like a helpful inclusion except for the fact that the timing window on the dodge is incredibly strict when done intentionally and surprisingly swift whenever executed on accident. That, and the type of dodge maneuver Jill performs is seemingly random, which can result in Jill backing herself into a wall and leaving herself far more vulnerable than before. I appreciate that these interesting mechanics drive a discernible wedge between RE3 and the previous game. Still, their awkward and somewhat unnecessary presence is somewhat of an indication that the Resident Evil foundation had already been honed to perfection in the previous game and all these new implementations do is complicate things. However, RE3 does feature a number of quality-of-life improvements that I genuinely appreciate, such as making the items more conspicuous in the foreground, a button designated to pull up the map, and a maneuver that swiftly turns Jill around instead of robotically turning her body like a mannequin on a pedestal.

The Raccoon City setting is something that should’ve been reworked entirely as opposed to being augmented like the game’s mechanics. I fully realize that the game’s events run parallel to those of Leon and Claire from the previous game, so placing Jill in the same predicament makes sense. Still, I fail to comprehend why Capcom thought the Raccoon City epidemic needed an additional point-of-view when the events had been exhausted after two almost identical campaigns. As it stands, RE3’s depiction of this doomed city is a reversal of how RE2 coordinated it. The city streets where Leon rushed through to reach the police station are now the primary place of excavation to escape the unremitting madness. Jill also revisits the police station briefly, albeit a truncated version of the precinct with new impenetrable barriers to signify that this takes place in the aftermath of Leon/Claire’s campaigns. Not only does the game fail to refresh the rehashed environments from the previous game, but treating the city streets that were once rightfully a straightaway trek the same as an exquisitely floored establishment is the most fundamental flaw with RE3’s direction. Sure, the worlds of Metroidvania games, the 2D cousin of the survival horror genre that shares the same sense of utility-gated progression, tend to be a collective of areas that vary in topography and thresholds of claustrophobia. With this logic, a Resident Evil map could flourish with the same design philosophy, but RE3 proves that this can’t be the case. The Raccoon City roads simply can’t transcend their initial workings as a linear series of paths no matter how many back alleys and piles of wreckage are impedeing Jill from crossing over the boundaries that the developers have placed. The richly labyrinthian constructions with their multiple stories that have served the series well in the past have been flattened to the ground floor, seeping across the broad radius of a metropolitan area. The breadth of a cityscape makes the backtracking of a survival horror game incredibly tedious, marching to and fro for a marathon’s length of retreaded steps to reach one objective. Any floor of an establishment from the previous two games, no matter how lofty, was never more than a few sets of hallways with several branching rooms as one would realistically expect from an architectural standpoint. I criticized the police precinct setting when it was still a centerpiece in RE2 for exuding too much of a domestic atmosphere for a horror game, but at least it was modeled just as exquisitely as the Spencer Mansion. The developers even had to separate the city into two “uptown” and “downtown” districts with two distinct maps, admissible proof that a linearly designed, sweeping environment does not gel with the survival horror genre.

It is not until the second half of the game where Jill crashes the railcar she’s using to flee the Raccoon City scene that the game provides the player with some truly impeccable survival horror settings. The clocktower is the kind of enclosed, gothic construction that I was craving as a potential successor to the Spencer Mansion, enhancing the dark, eerie atmosphere akin to the first game’s iconic stomping grounds with that desperately needed graphical maturation. The neighboring cemetery park is a competently restrained outdoor area compared to the urban streets of the city, and the underground laboratory efficiently refurbishes what is now a series motif. To heighten my feeling of engagement and admiration with these latter-half areas, they also include puzzles that are bonafide brain teasers, something that the second game was lacking.

Of course, the definitive difference and unique signifier to RE3 is the character on the right side of the full title’s colon. Before entering the gate of the police station, the gameplay will be interrupted with a cutscene of Jill’s S.T.A.R.S. ally, Brad Vickers, getting horribly and forcibly impaled by some fleshy tentacle of a colossal monster wearing a trenchcoat. Once Nemesis, the monster in question, refocuses his attention on Jill after decimating his previous victim, he’ll acutely stalk her like a lion does to a wildebeest for the duration of the game. Upon hearing the premise of an intimidatingly invulnerable tank of an enemy pursuing the female protagonist, one might wonder why Mr. X’s skin has been melted to a Freddy Krueger crisp because the previous game already toyed with the idea of placing a hostile, formidable figure with seemingly impenetrable defenses on the field for the player to contend with. In RE3, if one couldn’t infer his top-billing from the title, Nemesis has a larger presence here than the former superhuman stalker ever did. Nemesis is a T-Virus Terminator that will trounce any target he sets his sights on. On top of his hulking body that is as durable as Kevlar, Nemesis charges at Jill like a raging bull even in the tightest of corridors, as if he’s Frankenstien’s monster composed out of the corpses of the NFL’s finest linebackers. If Nemesis is unable to reach Jill and fling her around like a ragdoll, he’s strapped with a rocket launcher that he will not hesitate to use even in the tightest of indoor corridors to assure that Jill’s ass is grass. Not every encounter will involve the choice-based prompt either, so I suggest running like hell and forgetting about the potential rewards he might drop if you manage to subdue him. All of the evidential context surrounding Nemesis should make him a player’s worst nightmare, but there is something about his determination and overpowered attributes that conjure up feelings of irritation and frustration rather than fear. Nemesis popping in unexpectedly to give Jill a thrashing felt more like encountering your school bully in the hallways and making me groan with painful anticipation. There needs to be an aura of creepy subtlety to elicit a scare factor with this type of villain, something Mr. X already accomplished splendidly.

However, what is terrifying is the fact that Jill will be forced to fight this burnt-looking behemoth twice. His final fight in the laboratory should be prepared for like any other final boss, but the other one occurring at the clocktower beforehand is a traumatic experience. The front lawn of the tall tower is the arena when dueling Nemesis, and Jill will be cramped up against the surrounding walls and the burning debris of a helicopter while she is limping from an unavoidable status effect given to her during the cutscene that introduces this fight, giving Nemesis ample opportunity to have his way with Jill more so than in any standard encounter with him. Get ready to exhaust all ammunition and master the finicky dodge maneuver, because this is what is expected from the player for this fight. Also, pray a few times just to be safe. After being taken to the cleaners far too many times by Nemesis, I could not revert to my last save and explore the clocktower meticulously for any missing items, for the cutscene locks Jill to the top of the tower. This kind of action-intensive fight is not suitable for a survival horror game with tank controls and limited supplies. This encounter seriously made me consider restarting the game on easy difficulty and or abandoning the game entirely. So congratulations Nemesis, you are the newest inductee to the exclusive club of video game bosses that have made me whine like an upset puppy and raise my blood pressure from furiously screaming obscenities. Don’t pat yourself on the back with a sense of pride: if I had some sort of statuette of Nemesis, I’d imbue it with voodoo magic and shoot it point-blank with a revolver and burn the remnants.

Surprisingly enough, or maybe not so much if one reads deeply into Resident Evil’s linear notes, Nemesis is not the main antagonist of the game of his namesake. The apex of villainy across the Resident Evil series is and has always been the Umbrella Corporation that caused this entire mess. In fact, Nemesis was created by Umbrella as a countermeasure to eradicate all members of S.T.A.R.S that might blow the whistle on their involvement with the zombie pandemic, hence why all Nemesis can gravelly utter is the name of the organization. But Nemesis isn’t the only Umbrella associate out on the prowl tonight in Raccoon City. Jill will meet three members of an armed Umbrella task force assigned to dispose of anything infected by the T-Virus and rescue any remaining civilians. Jill is right to be untrusting of anyone who bears the symbol of her mortal enemy, but she must work alongside these guys due to running low on options for lucid human interactions to aid in her escape mission. It turns out that only one of the three men is an unscrupulous bastard, and that’s their leader Nikolai. This Soviet army veteran treats the whole T-virus epidemic as a front for business, willing to exterminate all that keep him from financially benefiting from it including some of his own men. Shoot this guy down with a bazooka when given the opportunity. Speaking of which, the other two Umbrella mercenaries are so disgusted at Nikolai’s callousness that they defect to aiding Jill instead. Carlos, one of the men who becomes the game’s secondary protagonist, takes a temporary role as a playable character in a hospital section where he retrieves a vaccine for an infected Jill. We see less of the other noble mercenary, Mikhail, on account of his grievous wounds, but sacrificing himself to save Jill on the cable car is certainly a noteworthy action of decency, right? Besides Wesker, these three men give the Umbrella corporation a face to attach with, and the reference we obtain from the mixed bag of interactions and intentions between them illustrates a complex moral quandary for what was previously an enigmatically evil force in the franchise. Perhaps the same complications of duty versus dogma can parallel real-life factions with bad reputations.

If I’ve played any third game of any franchise beforehand, and I certainly have, then my experience with Resident Evil 3: Nemesis should come as no surprise. The unification of Resident Evil’s tropes and mechanics seen in RE2 made it a tough act to follow, which can be said for most sophomore sequels for a number of franchises. Still, quelling the sensation of yearning from fans after they’ve played the peak of the series by rounding it out with a third game is always a requisite, even if these last hurrahs tend to overflow the foundation with additional attributes. Most of the additional attributes that RE3 wove into the fabric of the franchise are flawed at best and infuriating at worst, and I wish I could avoid the bad ones as deliberately as the unyielding monster at the center of the game. The best aspects of RE3 that make it a worthy entry are improving on the elements already in the franchise that Resident Evil 2 lacked, such as challenging puzzles in eerie environments instead of all the window dressing they figured would make a substantial difference. With a few noteworthy gripes withstanding, Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is still an effective note to end the franchise’s reign as the champion of survival horror on the original PlayStation.

Super Smash Bros. for Wii U Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 4/27/2024) [Image from igdb.com ] Super Smash Bros. for Wii U Developer: Sora, Bandai Namco Publishe...