(Originally published to Glitchwave on 12/17/2024)
[Image from glitchwave.com]
Team Fortress 2
Developer: Valve
Publisher: Valve
Genre(s): First-Person Shooter, Class Shooter
Platforms: PC
Release Date: October 10, 2007
I realize it’s unfair to compare the graphics and gameplay of two games with a giant wedge of a whole gaming generation between their releases. Obviously, TF2 is leagues glossier and generally more dexterous than “Team Fortress Classic” molded from a Quake mod when FPS games were still in their primordial, developmental stages. The points in discussing TF2’s presentation will pertain less to objective advancements and more in regards to the conscious decisions made by Valve to spruce up their property. For instance, cel-shaded graphics are a wonderful voluntary graphical sheen that gives any 3D game a hint of effervescence. My inherent fondness for that particular aesthetic may indicate a bias, but I believe that the choice to render TF2 with a more buoyant color scheme is a distinguishable trademark. Oftentimes, FPS games are gritty and realistic to exude the appropriate mature, gung-ho atmosphere fit for bloody, weaponized combat. When the visuals sparkle due to the cartoonish tint of cel-shaded graphics, the unflinching violence of a typical FPS game is exaggerated to a humorous degree. Bloodshed is splattered on surfaces like splashes of red paint, and any character that meets an unfortunate fate with any type of explosive combusts dramatically as their various pieces of anatomy spill out onto the pavement like shattered glass. Each character can ceremoniously cheer or taunt with the press of a key/button, but they’ll all be uttering emphatic voice lines on the field regardless without deploying a manual trigger. TF2’s jubilant mood is far more inviting than the typical online FPS games that treat every victory or failure with grave solemnity.
As silly as TF2 is on the surface, the game still fosters an enriching experience for the most seasoned online FPS experts. I think the prime example of TF2’s dedication to the craft is that each of its maps is designed exclusively with one game type in mind as opposed to squeezing the feasibility of several different game modes onto one map like COD tends to do. TF2’s veiled premise that rationalizes the conflict between the two feuding factions pertains to the color-coded RED and BLU. They are rival corporations who are competing in heated bouts of capitalist control over a bevy of lucrative, marketable territories to expand the breadth of their business and increase the rate of commerce. Because the premise essentially boils down to annexing territory, each archetypal game mode in an online FPS game is centered around the overarching conflict. The “capture the flag” game that is commonly associated with games of the genre is contextually constructed with the flag as a briefcase containing classified business documents that would devastate the conglomerate’s operations if they were seized by the competitor. Absorbing control points also carries capital connotations in TF2 with maps such as “Granary” and “Well,” and even attempting to procure uncharted real estate in “Hydro” will be met with a conflict of interests like two dogs fighting over a single bowl of food. The attack and defense dynamic that occurs in maps such as “Dustbowl” and “Gravel Pit” imply a scheduled match like a sundown duel in the wild west. The solidified roles of either team here suggest that company executives have proposed a gentlemanly bet between them with their property as the wager instead of an everflowing stream of chaotic back-and-forths. More importantly from a gameplay standpoint, each map in TF2 is wonderfully symmetrical. Besides the color coding that represents either team, both of the industrialized fortresses of “2Fort” are identical, facing parallel to one another with a topped wooden truss bridge connecting the two opposing sides. This way, those on the offensive for either side have an equal standing during the infiltration process. It is not to say that the design of this map is simplistic to a fault for the sake of player equity. Players can take the inconspicuous route in the sewers and emerge in the far corners of the opposing base, and the more agile classes can jump on the top of the bridge and then onto the exposed decks on the opposite side. The control point maps share the same general design philosophy of an identical essence as “2Fort,” with both teams having two layers of territory before meeting at a neutral zone ripe for the picking. The multi-phased “Hydro” will plop players on either team into coarse, uneven stakes for a five-stage streak but hey, it’s not as if either corporation has stamped their brand logos on any of the fertile grounds yet. Simply put, every map in TF2 excels because the developers have made a meticulous effort to craft locations that foster a fair and feasible playing field for the specific game mode designed around them.
Do you think that these entrepreneurial fat cats fight to preserve their capital gains? Hell no! As Black Sabbath once stated in their song “War Pigs,” people in positions of power and opulent wealth hide themselves away and treat people like pawns in chess. The pawns in question on the frontlines are nine different hired mercenaries, each providing a distinctive talent in the effort to protect or procure valuable properties. In my humble opinion, TF2’s direction regarding how they treat the selectable characters in their class-based FPS game is the highest mark of excellence the game bestows. Whereas most online shooters feel it apropos to reduce their selection of playable characters to the contents of their arsenal and their set of specific combat skills, TF2 injects an overdose of personality into each individual mercenary to the point where they completely supersede their class designations. In saying that, their unique array of combat specialties is still equally as pertinent to their identities as their personable characteristics.
Scrolling from left to right on the character select screen, the first class of the gung-ho offense category is The Scout. This brazen, boisterous Bostonian is the youngest of the nine mercenaries, and his youthfulness ostensibly plays a hand in his notably spry physicality. The Scout is the quickest mercenary by a wide margin, zooming through the maps in a flash of the enemy’s peripheral. His advanced nimbleness also gives him the unique distinction of a double jump, making him the only practical class to use for an airborne advantage. Whether it be due to his fresher knees or the in-your-face, Dunkin' Donuts coffee-fueled attitude associated with the people of his home city, The Scout rushes through every combat situation with a blunt and direct manner. His scattergun is devastating at close range, and the metallic bat he’s probably had since his first game at Fenway Park will BOINK and BONK his enemies to death swiftly like a ninja. The caveat to Scout’s incredible speed is that he requires a range so close that he’ll need to breathe down the necks of his enemies in order to ensure accuracy. He carries a pistol to compensate for his blast radius the length of a school ruler, but reliance on this pea shooter will likely result in imminent death. Any class that fights with weapons requiring long-ranged precision will groan when this hyperactive kid lunges at them like a cheetah, but it’s wise for The Scout to steer clear of any classes using automatic weapons.
Continuing with the offense category is another man from the States, but on the opposite spectrum of age and more ambiguously American. The Soldier is the only one who we can presume has a seasoned amount of combat experience among the nine classes, and his exorbitant time in the US Army has shaped his persona as an indefatigable trooper of war with a sense of pride in his country and uniform that verges on nationalistic fanaticism. His time on the front lines has also unscrewed a few bolts in his brain, so he’s often inexhaustibly rambling intensely or maniacally screaming his war cry. The man is mad enough to strap a rocket launcher to his right shoulder and blast it with impunity all across the battlefront. I guess reducing his foes to a gluey red paste with his weapon of choice makes it easier to use his shovel to put their remains into a mass grave. Due to a combination of his bulkier body frame and the massive explosive ordinance he lugs around, The Soldier is a class that trades speed for sturdier, hard-hitting aggression. Keep in mind that anyone playing as this class must aim the shells for critical effectiveness, even though the radius of the splashback will still foist a fair amount of shrapnel damage. Stockier, slower characters will feel the explosive wrath of the stars and stripes, but good luck targeting The Scout while he’s zipping around like a roadrunner. On another note, should I feel embarrassed as a Soldier “main” to never have mastered the rocket jump technique using self-inflicted splashback?
We then switch from two American Joes in this ennead to someone of an untraceable, mysterious origin. The Pyro’s enigmatic nature is something that perturbs his fellow mercenaries. Discounting the jumpsuit and gas mask that obscure and muffle all personability, his/its pension for setting his enemies ablaze with a flamethrower is the cruelest method of execution fitting for a cold, emotionless psychopath. If one manages to elude the roaring, gas-powered flames, The Pyro’s axe will gruesomely cut them down, which doesn’t bode well for his image and reputation. In my experience, The Pyro is the prime beginner-friendly class. His physicality is balanced in all regards and his flamethrower will decimate all health bars complete with collateral still charring the enemy even when they manage to escape the inferno blast. I’ve often decried The Pyro as the class that newbies use as a crutch, but the concealed killer does have his blind spots other than the literal limited line of sight under his gas mask. He’s not particularly speedy and he’s rather confined to close quarters similarly to The Scout. However, the consequences of invading The Pyro’s personal space will prove far more severe than with his quicker offense class peer.
The class that begins the defensive trio is a lesson in tasteful representation. If one is going to diversify their cast with a token racial minority, it’s suitable to give them an unorthodox ethnic background to distract the developers from piling on abject racism in an effort to lightheartedly jab at one’s cultural makeup. I can’t comment on the percentage of black people that comprise Scotland’s total population, but the one-eyed Demoman certainly embodies several of the stereotypes from the northern region of the United Kingdom. He’s a churlish drunk, and the majority of his language would be considered obscene if it weren’t spoken with an unintelligibly thick accent. The Demoman consumes such an alarmingly abundant amount of straight whiskey that he always has a broken bottle at his disposal to crack in half and use as a makeshift shank. Because of how often he’s sauced, it might disturb some people to know that the “demo” portion of his job title is the prefix for “demolition.” The Demoman is an explosives expert, and he’s one class that the player will have to spend an exorbitant amount of time playing as him to hone that expertise. Despite how stacked the skill ceiling is for the Demoman, one who specializes with him will be especially deadly with ricocheting explosive capsules and stealthily placed sticky bombs. Or, you could be one of those dickhead Demomen who plants sticky bombs on the opposing team’s spawn door. You know who you are.
Next, we come to the class that’s The Scout’s polar opposite in physicality and The Soldier’s in cultural ideologies. The “Heavy” is a character whose class designation speaks for itself. This dim Ruskie is like if the corporations shaved a Kodiak bear and gave it a hulking minigun, a terrifying combination to face on the field for anyone involved. It’s shocking enough how this man’s bare hands are as effective as melee weapons as an axe or a shovel. However, The Heavy is not a thoughtless thug. Something is endearing and cuddly about his personality underneath his mammoth exterior, which is probably why he’s been the de facto face of TF2 since its launch. Still, always be cautious of the largest class who also brandishes the most substantial health bar. That is unless you’re playing as a faster class that can run circles around him. The Heavy’s imposing might matched with his glacial rate of movement tips both scales to make for a class with stark strengths and weaknesses.
The following class is a lesson in irony, I think. We return to the American men on the team to the beer-drinking, steak-eating, geetar-playing Engineer from the Longhorn state of Texas. Despite the lowbrow connotations of his background, this good ol’ boy arguably has the most white-collar job of the bunch. Playing as The Engineer is an entirely different ballpark compared to most of the other classes. The wrench and pistol are technically practical weapons in combat, but they prove to be insufficiently stacked against the military-grade firearms used by the other classes. Fortunately, The Engineer can put his academic credentials to good use in this corporate bloodbath. Anyone playing as this class will spend their time constructing a sentry gun that guards either the valuable land or documents. At first, the automated security apparatus will adorably shoot a single bullet from two feet off the ground, but expending his supply of metal will upgrade the little tyke into a sturdy mechanical beast complete with heat-seeking missiles. Metal can also craft dispensaries for health and ammunition, plus two-way teleporters for his lazy teammates. Still, maximizing the potency of the sentry gun should be every Engineer’s highest priority. Considering how many players actively choose The Engineer and stand guard in their bunker maintaining the upkeep of their sentries, it’s evident that The Engineer is an invaluable asset to any TF2 match.
Are Germans the nationality commonly associated with the mad scientist trope in fiction? The Medic’s conceptual makeup should be rooted in the legend of Dr. Frankenstein if anything. Any possible real-life connections to Germany regarding an eccentric, bespectacled doctor who conducts biological experiments would be ugly and tasteless. Let’s just say that I hope The Medic doesn’t own a property in Argentina. Problematic inspiration aside, the first support class acts similarly to The Engineer in that the player will take a secondary position in combat. The Medic’s primary function on the field is to provide medical aid to his fellow mercenaries, spurting the wispy energy from his medi gun onto his comrades that not only revitalizes their health bar but exceeds their maximum health capacity. If The Medic tethers his medicine ray to a particular player for a substantial stretch of time, he can engage an “ubercharge” that will grant invulnerability to him and his target in a brief, electrifying blaze of glory. Pair this feature with either The Heavy or The Soldier and see everyone on the other team scurry away like a pack of rats. Also, if someone catches The Medic on his vulnerable lonesome, know that his bone saw deals the highest critical damage among the TF2 melee weapons.
If The Medic is too submissive for your liking, the other support classes offer that head-on, pugnacious element of battle. Yet, The Sniper obviously engages in the sport of murder from a safe distance. The Aussie receives an inordinate lack of respect among his fellow mercenaries, labeling him as a vagabond loser who sleeps in a van down by the river. Perhaps his impersonal relationship with his teammates stems from his equally impersonal murder methodology. The Sniper’s role is fairly self-explanatory. Use his sniper rifle from an inconspicuous viewpoint to dispatch members of the opposing team, and targeting the vital organs such as the brain ensures a critical hit. The Sniper’s effectiveness as a class depends on a number of variables. The slower mercenaries are obviously ripe for picking off, while it’s a vexing task trying to shoot at The Scout while he’s hippity hoppiting about. In addition to the walking speed of his targets, a number of the maps are simply incompatible with his gameplay style. The outer decks of “2Fort” are practically built to accommodate The Sniper, but anyone attempting to scope around the congested, industrial space of a map like “Granary” is in for a rough time. His auxiliary submachine gun and machete are not to be taken lightly during any personal approach, but one clearly can’t plow through the enemy opposition with them.
Last, but certainly not least, we come to the class that is arguably the inert koala shagger’s Achille’s heel. Glass Joe may represent the embarrassing stereotypes of the French that I’m sure they’d like the world to forget, but The Spy embodies all of the classic associations with the European nation’s people. He’s snooty, rude, and pretentious, yet he exudes a smokey, noirish, and sophisticated swagger that adds to his intended mystique. He also has the most complicated gameplay style across the nine mercenaries. The objective of The Spy is to stealthily navigate around enemies, eluding their suspicions that he is of the opposition. The Spy can momentarily render himself invisible, but a more enduring tactic of deception is to disguise oneself as another class wearing the opposing colors. The other team will see The Spy totally wearing the form of an enemy class, but any of his teammates will see him attaching a cardboard cutout of another classes face–implying that the enemy team is a bunch of unobservant nincompoops. He carries a fairly effective revolver, but his idiosyncratic weapon is a butterfly knife. With a combination of his veiled trickery and this sharp object, intimate range with the opponent’s backsides will trigger a downward stab that guarantees instant death. The Spy also has a sapper tool in his arsenal used to cause sentry guns to malfunction and then explode, but executing this feat of sabotage will compromise The Spy’s position. Actually, there are several ways to inadvertently expose The Spy on the field, which is why it will take hours upon hours of practice to become an effective silent assassin. When the player reaches that point, no other class feels as satisfying to master.
While TF2 at its launch was already brimming with enough effervescence, it retrospectively seemed vanilla as the years rolled onward. To maintain user interest, Valve injected their online class-based brew-ha-ha with a smorgasbord of updates on a biweekly basis. These updates included a myriad of additional content of all varieties. Not only did the developers add several maps to spruce up the tactical range of the game types, but some maps were designed with the advent of a fresh, new game mode. “Payload” involves progressively moving explosive cargo into the other team’s base, “King of the Hill” sees one team defending a single control point in a test of endurance, and “Arena” is a deathmatch with no respawns. Valve never added any new mercenaries to the roster, but they sure augmented the nine classes that were already available. Each class was given plenty of alternatives to each of their weapon slots, plus modifications to the tools already in their arsenal. I’m so glad that “jarate” has been introduced to the greater gaming lexicon, even if I become nauseous whenever the Sniper pelts me with this piss cocktail. Several alterations to each class were strictly cosmetic, including a vast selection of hats that everyone went bananas over like a Black Friday shopping swarm. In retrospect, our collective fervor for these arbitrary pieces of clothing is a little embarrassing. Still, it indicates Valve’s dedication to showering the fans with a constant stream of exciting new features. It was a mark of benevolence unseen by any other online FPS game.
But how does TF2 stand when Valve has forsaken it to prioritize their massively profitable PC game-curating application? Not very well, to be honest. Truthfully, I haven’t played TF2 for well over a decade, when the game still bore some relevance and when all of the previously mentioned updates occurred. The impetus for this review was upon hearing that TF2 is now plagued with game-breaking bots that are infecting the game like cancer, rendering it unfit to play. The vocal community of TF2 players has echoed their grievances about the sorry state of their beloved online FPS classic with the trending hashtag “#saveTF2”, and this outcry encapsulates my point on TF2 more than my insight and experiences ever could. Despite how long in the tooth TF2 is getting to be and how many spiritual successors have taken the reins of class shooter stardom, several gamers are still devout TF2 players nonetheless. Can you blame them for keeping the faith alive? How many other online FPS games feature map designs this exquisite with a cast of characters, not just classes, that can be best described as the boxers of Punch-Out!! butchering and berating one another? My personal relationship with TF2 is ultimately superfluous. The fact that the community surrounding this game is still as zestful as it once was despite Valve attempting to shelve it into the dark corners of their archives is the real testament to its greatness.
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