Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Mario Kart 64 Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 8/28/2024)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


Mario Kart 64

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): Kart Racer

Platforms: N64

Release Date: December 14, 1996


I wanted to dive into this review confidently stating that Mario Kart 64 blew its series debut on the SNES out of the realm of relevance inherently on the advantage of 3D graphics. After all, that narrative is essentially how the gaming history books tell it. Mario Kart 64 launched the unvanquishable kart racing series into the stratosphere and served as the shining beacon that radiated the idea into the minds of other developers that this casual genre of racing games was a lucrative goldmine. Sure, Super Mario Kart was the precursor that provided the template, but it is truly amazing how the evolved polygonal realm breathed so much life and practicality into this once-budding phenomenon. Upon taking history’s word entirely and foolishly misjudging my memory of Mario Kart 64, I trusted that the first 3D Mario Kart game was still on par with all of its successors that directly aped all of its engaging elements. I was ready to propose that the third dimension was all the kart racer dish needed in its recipe for surefire success, but I’ve unfortunately come to find that Mario Kart 64 is almost equally as primitive as its pixelated predecessor.

So besides the enhancement of visual realism, how exactly does the third dimension aid Mario Kart’s design and mechanics? Honestly, asking this question alone really fails to realize the full scope of what the third dimension offers the gaming medium besides an aesthetic boost that resembles something akin to realistic shapes and solid proportions. Imagine that you are participating in a race with your real-life, third-dimensional “graphics,” for lack of a better term. Provided you have a 20/20 vision, you should be able to see everything in front of you and have a general understanding of the obstacles and immediate terrain before hitting the finish line. Super Mario Kart’s premature attempt to craft something that inherently requires depth perception and a broad understanding of one’s environment faltered in every sense. Everything from the graphics to the gameplay was compressed to Bejesus and back as a modest compromise to the 16-bit system’s limitations. The tracks were practically being rendered as the player zoomed forward, which doesn’t exactly inspire confidence when you need to dodge obstacles to win a race. Essentially, being able to discern what lies ahead is the inherent factor of total superiority that the 3D Mario Kart 64 has over the SNES prototype. I’m still in disbelief at how quickly Nintendo was jumping the gun trying to pull Mario Kart into existence when gaming technology clearly wasn’t ready for it.

The relationship between a racer and their surroundings is no better exemplified than with Mario Kart 64’s selection of racetracks. The restriction of the SNES also extended to the range of course themes, as many environments were recycled across the four grand prix cups. In Mario Kart 64, all sixteen tracks are entirely unique to one another. While some tracks share similarities in theme like the winter wonderland of “Frappe Snowland” and the arctic, penguin-infested “Sherbet Land,” their designs and obstacles couldn’t be any more dissimilar. Firstly, we should discuss how some of these tracks showcase the realism that the 3D graphics now facilitate. In terms of obstacles, they can now expand beyond a few mud pits and snow to slow the player’s acceleration. “Moo Moo Farms” is a dirt road where the bovine animals roam around the track (along with Monty Moles that pop out from the dirt) and if you can’t anticipate the train in “Kalimari Desert” as you approach the tracks, I advise you to invest in some glasses for your own personal safety outside of the game. “Toad Turnpike” is the greatest example of the point I’m trying to make, with the characters zooming down a highway along with proportionally-sized cars and trucks with a fluid rate of motion like a real busy turnpike. Secondly, the heightened spatial parameters of 3D allow for the player to manipulate the trajectory to their advantage. For example, a ramp in “Koopa Troopa Beach” can lead to a hidden crevice in the wall that will catapult the player to the opposite side of the rock. Many players have discovered shortcuts outside the intended bounds of the tracks while exploiting the newfound bounciness of the karts. Boosting over the solidified mud piles that comprise Wario Stadium will launch the player over the bend, and taking a leap of faith at a specific point in this game’s interaction of “Rainbow Road” will shave off at least a minute of their completion time. It’s almost a shame that someone would fast forward through “Rainbow Road” here, for the colorful finale is beautifully epic, even if the track is a linear stretch with solid barriers. It’s Mario Kart 64’s Stairway to Heaven, and racing through this track will take the same duration of time as it does to listen to that song, so I don’t blame any players for skidding off the ledge. Thirdly, tracks use the 3D space to diversify the track layouts to simply make the total design far more interesting. “Bowser’s Castle” here features a different hazard and track piece such as bridges and stone staircases in every single room, which is far more engaging to race on than a fractured island situated in a pool of lava. My favorite track, “D.K.’s Jungle Parkway,” is a gorgeous tropical paradise with a plethora of awe-striking setpieces. The track designs alone should be enough evidence as to why the fifth generation should’ve been Mario Kart’s debut era. However, the one detractor is the clusterfuck “Yoshi Valley,” incorporating all of these elements and bloating them with its unchecked ambitions. This is the only track where the game can’t tell the placements of the racers amongst the serpentine turns, which should’ve been an indication that it was a bad idea.

The racers in question are still eight of Mushroom Kingdom’s finest. However, they are not the same eight characters that were available in the previous game, for the franchise has grown exponentially in the four years and some dynamics were shifted. For one, Rare released their seminal Donkey Kong Country in the time between the two Mario Kart games, so their version of the loveable ape that wears a tie replaces DK Jr. forevermore. Super Mario Land 2 also established another Mario rival that wasn’t interested in kidnapping princesses in Wario, and his uncanny vileness apparently resonated with gamers enough that Nintendo felt it apropos to put him on the Mario Kart frontlines. The green Koopa Troopa has been axed, leaving Toad as the only non-descript Mario character among the eight. The growing number of staunchly affiliated Mario icons in the roster signifies that the franchise had become even grander by the turn of the 3D era, and seeing these once-pixelated characters fully fleshed out in 3D was sure to be exciting for everyone who was used to seeing them in sprites. Sure, the character models are pre-rendered as opposed to being legitimate polygons. Still, it's incredible how these iconic characters were brought to life here nevertheless.

Actually, Toad’s avatar-like placement in the roster was exactly why I chose him as my primary Mario Kart character in replaying all of the Grand Prix cups. Yoshi could arguably fit this description, but I always assume that the representative of the island dinosaurs is the same Yoshi, one who is a close companion to Mario. I picked Toad for his Joe Schmoe pluckiness, but I unknowingly discovered that he was the perfect character to expose Mario Kart 64’s duplicity. I mentioned that one of the selling points of Super Mario Kart and the series, on the whole, was that the player could choose any character they wanted solely based on their arbitrary attachment to that character from the mainline Mario franchise and nothing more. We can assume that there are no statistical variations between every individual character based on the fact that they are nowhere to be found on the character select screen, but playing as Toad has made me wise to their deception. Given that Toad is yay high approximate to a traffic cone or a comically-sized dildo used for a circus act, one can naturally determine that he’s liable to get bullied by the larger characters while racing on the track. Preposterous, you say–well explain to me then why Toad spins out of control whenever he runs into the back of either Bowser, Donkey Kong, or the disgustingly obese Wario. Shouldn’t the game overtly give the player a disclaimer that he’s at a disadvantage? Stat distinctions would be sensible in a game with characters of differing sizes and shapes, but it’s especially egregious that the game seems to obscure them from the player.

Running into bigger bullies on the track is a common aspect of concern in Mario Kart 64, for it pertains to the game’s most fundamental flaw. To keep the player from joyriding to the finish line, the game implements a peculiar mechanic where every other racer will be tailing behind the player when they’re in first no matter the circumstances. The Mario Kart fandom has dubbed this occurrence as “rubberbanding” and I can’t think of a more apt metaphorical term for how competition in this game plays out. From my personal experience with this, I was utterly flabbergasted when I barely came in second to Bower on “Toad’s Turnpike.” I pelted the Koopa King with green shells aplenty and distracted him with my first-placed position so he’d swerve into a truck and lose his placement for good. However, despite my perfect race without any mistakes, Bowser still managed to eke out a victory right from behind me at the end. The CPUs on 100cc don’t even utilize the boost feature, so what the fuck happened?! This is purely speculation, but were the developers worried that the game would be too easy in a 3D environment that they course-corrected by keeping all characters on a string? Shouldn’t the character who showcases the highest racing aptitude be the clear victor? Many argue that Mario Kart isn’t a skill-based racing game, but this is discouragingly unfair to the player.

So what is the clear solution to ensure a swift victory despite the game’s efforts to leave the outcome up to the stars? It’s probably conditional to the player mastering the drift mechanic, but I swear, executing this mechanic properly barely amounts to any speed boost. It seems like the character drives faster while in the drift mode, even though the curved angle can lead the player off the track and then some. Certainly the items function as supplementary tools to a smoother victory, or at least this is what they’re ideally used for. In practice, the items are fickle at best. Most of the new items in Mario Kart 64 are used for defense. Oftentimes, the player will be given the chance to hold not one, but either three green or red shells at a time that rotate around them like a shield. However, I found that CPUs seldom fire any offensive items at the player. Can the player use the multiple red shells to bury CPUs at least a marginal distance behind them? In theory, yes, but the red shells have a tendency to never reach their targets and reroute off to the side instead. I should be dedicating an entire paragraph to the new blue shell item, for it is the harbinger of doom for any Mario Kart player who finds themselves positioned in first place. When I was in fourth and this juggernaut item came into my possession, what exactly did this grand executioner do? It slid a little bit and plinked on a warp pipe a few yards ahead. I couldn’t help but laugh. I advise sandbagging a mushroom for a speed boost right before the finish line, especially the new golden mushrooms that can be used multiple times.

Do you want to know what the real solution is to pull off a well-earned victory in Mario Kart 64? Bring three friends who can’t operate under the CPU’s bullshit system. In fact, I now realize that the multiplayer aspect of Mario Kart 64 is really what skyrocketed the series’ popularity. If Super Mario 64 demonstrated the 3D feature of the N64 in the console’s early days, then Mario Kart 64 was the first instance of what the additional two controller ports meant for any game’s fun factor. No wonder why everyone has fond memories of this game. However, I can only assess Mario Kart 64 on its merits inside the framework of a stern, single-player experience, and I’ve deduced that the game is a bit broken. The game features so many baffling rookie mistakes that it is hard to believe that this was working off the template of a previous title. Under the argument that 3D legitimizes Mario Kart 64 as the first “true” game in the series, it puts all of the block-headed decisions into perspective. Still, at least Mario Kart 64 is still fun at its core, something I can’t say for Super Mario Kart. That aspect definitely counts as a considerably weighty merit for a Mario game, don’t you think?

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