(Originally published to Glitchwave on 12/5/2023)
[Image from glitchwave.com]
Mega Man 5
Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Genre(s): 2D Platformer
Platforms: NES
Release Date: December 4, 1992
Thank you, Lisa Simpson. While this quote is obviously about the decline in viewer interest in the fictional cartoon series in the universe of The Simpsons (also a meta parallel on the state of the actual Simpsons show by its eighth season), I could strikethrough Itchy & Scratchy with Mega Man and the quote would still apply to the state of the franchise by its fifth entry. Mega Man 5 is when the gaming public started to turn on the blue bomber, for the long-running series on the NES wasn’t just overstaying its welcome: it was still drinking and hooting in the morning long after the party was over and everyone had gone home. After several entries in a franchise on the same system, whose potential is fairly limited by the primitive NES hardware despite the clear evolution across every subsequent title, Mega Man started failing to captivate gamers because the formula had been exhausted by this point. In Mega Man 5, he still fights eight robot masters with individual levels and climbs through the intimidating fortress of Dr. Wily afterward, all while pew-pewing with his blaster along the way. Mega Man 5 is exactly what one would expect from Capcom’s seminal series, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Mega Man 5 still possesses plenty of upstanding qualities that make the game worth playing even if none of them are revolutionary.
However, Mega Man 5’s plot is not one of them. Protoman is the primary villain in Mega Man 5, you say? Yeah right, Capcom; and I’m Roger Ebert. If Protoman isn’t a red herring for Dr. Wily, I’ll eat my own shoe. Nevertheless, we are intended to humor the premise that the rogue, shielded older brother of Mega Man is unmistakenly evil now, kidnapping Dr. Light and mustering up a new slew of robot masters as a defensive blockade for Mega Man to hurdle over. Just unveil Dr. Wily as the culprit for all of this madness. There is no need to insult everyone’s intelligence for the sake of artificial freshness.
How is this new crop of robot masters that Dr. Wily Protoman has whipped up? Well, there are eight of them as usual, and they are all distinctive from one another to balance their weaknesses so Mega Man can exploit them when he absorbs their power upon defeating them. Overall, the level of creativity with this flock of robot masters is up to par with that of the previous game, with only a few of them such as Wave Man and Crystal Man being instances of breaking out the trusty thesaurus to repaint over previous robot masters with similar thematic identities. Gyro Man’s main characteristic is a green propeller normally attached to an aircraft, Stone Man is a rocky golem, and Star Man features the gleaming astronomical object on the front of his body like an uncomfortably large insignia. Charge Man is the most unique robot master that Mega Man 5 offers from a design standpoint, for he aesthetically resembles a steam train and kind of maneuvers around with the straightaway driving force of one as well. Because of this, he’s also the most irritating robot master to fight because he’ll stick to Mega Man on the ground like stink on shit.
But thinking of descriptors to design new robot masters around is a relatively simple task compared to rendering their defining properties as weapons that Mega Man can utilize as alternatives to the blaster. The weapons obtained from these bosses are interesting, to say the least. Star Man marks the first instance where defeating him grants Mega Man TWO weapons: a star shield and an arrow. I can’t complain that the shield is yet another attempt at copying Wood Man because at least this sort of device always comes in handy. However, the “super arrow” acts as a less beefy version of the Hard Knuckle, with a much sluggish acceleration if you can believe it. Gyro Man’s projectile propeller could also fit in the long line of unsatisfactory Metal Blade substitutes, restricted to the stringent Y and X-axis directions with the speed of a softball toss. The bulbous Crystal Eye scatters into three ricocheting balls once it hits a surface, but what are the chances that Mega Man will find a wall to bounce this cluster of crystals off of along the straightaway path? Gravity Man’s weapon is the cheap screen clearer weapon that most players will end up abusing, as it quite literally blows enemies off the screen. At least the Metal Blade requires at least a modicum of skill to use. Weaponizing the dash maneuver with the Charge Kick seems novel enough in theory, but a tool that forces direct contact with enemies in a game that emphasizes ranged combat is as impractical as one would assume. The spiraling power stone is so wild and imprecise that I opted to use Mega Man’s charge shot on Charge Man instead of his assigned weakness. In fact, in most instances, I barely ever shuffled through these weapons and instead favored Mega Man’s upgraded standard blaster as I did in the previous game.
By this point, the Mega Man series had reached the apex of graphical potential it was ever going to reach on the 8-bit NES system. However, this relative restriction didn’t limit Capcom’s creativity with level themes. Manipulating Mega Man’s buoyancy, a platforming gimmick usually reserved for underwater sections, has seemed to have transitioned to the opposite spectrum of the outer reaches of space. Gravity Man features Mega Man walking on the ceilings, while Star Man’s stage is an unbounded area of the cosmos where Mega Man can soar almost limitlessly with one leap. Mega Man 5 still innovates with water, however, as Wave Man’s stage suddenly transforms into an auto-scrolling vehicle section with Mega Man riding a jet ski. The crystals that gleam off of Crystal Man’s stage are so decadently textured that they seem impenetrable like Superman’s fortress of solitude. One can argue that Stone Man’s stage is a refurbished version of Gutsman’s stage as Gyro Man’s is for Air Man’s, using similar motifs while refining the jagged aspects of both respective areas for a smoother experience. The robot master stages in Mega Man 5 are as consistently outstanding as those from Mega Man 4. However, I have to make mention of one stage in the game that stands out above the rest for all the wrong reasons, and that’s the domain of Napalm Man. No, I’m not singling out this one stage because it’s the most difficult one (even though it damn well is), but because of its insensitive parallels with a tragic war in another Asian country. I’d shrug off the contextual evidence of a jungle setting for a robot master called Napalm Man as a coincidence, except that Capcom actually confirmed that creating a Vietnam War-themed stage here was intentional. What made them think this was a tasteful idea? Why not have a robot master named Gas Man whose stage is set in 1940s Poland while they’re at it (sorry, I might have crossed some lines here)?
The points of progress with the Mega Man series can only be minuscule little additions at this point, and the evidence to this claim can be affirmed by the few that Mega Man 5 implements. Complimenting the nifty and convenient energy tank that restores Mega Man’s health to its full capacity are the new weapon tanks that refill every single one of his exhaustible beams at once. I remember wishing for an item with this exact function back in Mega Man 2 and now that it’s real, I’m at least somewhat pleased. I’m less ecstatic because the weapon tanks are as rare as finding a four-leaf clover, while Mega Man will stumble upon so many energy tanks that he’ll be practically tripping over them. The more conspicuous addition that the player will readily notice is a large grid of letters that spell out “MEGAMANV” with the fifth Roman numeral attached, and each letter of this grid is found across every level. Why should the player bother with the painstaking effort to gather these collectible letters? Well, the reward for the player’s troubles is another trusty animal companion, overshadowing Rush due to the red, robotic dog having one less function (and a wonky reworking of the rush coil) than usual. Beat is one vicious bluebird bot, eviscerating both enemies and bosses alike by violently pecking at them and depleting their health bars. To prevent Mega Man’s gameplay from becoming like 8-bit falconry, he also comes with a finite energy meter like any of the secondary weapons. Still, with the ease and personality attached to this unlockable ally, the player will abuse Beat’s abilities without shame. Surprisingly, I fully endorse using Beat with impunity because he’s an interesting reward that motivates me to engage with Mega Man 5’s main gimmick.
Even without Beat and a surplus of energy tanks, Mega Man 5 is much easier than every title in the series before it. One could argue this observation during the robot master stages, but this becomes transparently evident during the climactic sections in Wily’s castle and the illusionary one made for Protoman. A select few platforming sections involving some conveyor belts might stir up some spicy anger with some players, but streamlining the NES Mega Man experience is more noticeable with the bosses. Surprise, surprise, the Protoman that has allegedly betrayed the trust of Dr. Light is a shapeshifting alt-series robot called Darkman and the real Protoman is innocent of his charges. Color me shocked. Darkman and his quartet of multicolored, jaundiced bots are the bosses of the section that leads up to Dr. Wily, and every last one of them is predictable and embarrassingly vulnerable. The two roadblock bosses in Dr. Wily’s real castle are satisfyingly challenging and fit the imposing sizes we’ve seen across all of the mad doctor’s tower defenses. Unfortunately, it all culminates in the most pathetic Dr. Wily dual since that time he transformed into an alien. The first section is waiting for Dr. Wily to descend downward with enough space to avoid being crushed by his spacecraft, the second involves shooting a shot or arrow into the gullet of his skull tank and lastly, Dr. Wily zooms about in his saucer, disappearing in a circle of pink energy balls to illuminate himself again at a height that leaves himself exposed. Integrate Beat to simply contact Wily in the air and Mega Man is free to get a lawn chair, lift his feet up and relax. No, I’m not realizing that I’ve taken the Yellow Devil for granted as a worthy opponent. In fact, I’d be praising the fairness of the final fight against Wily here if all three of his forms weren’t limp and lazy versions of phases we’ve already seen in the series.
Mega Man 5 didn’t need to exist. I apologized up and down to Mega Man 4 for exceeding the harmonious arc of a trilogy, for it more than proved that there was still plenty of unpaved ground that when smoothed over with innovation could make for a tighter experience in a series that was still coarse by its third entry. Sure, Mega Man 5 is smooth as silk, but we’ve already knit the swankiest suit from the fine fabric the previous game was composed of and these are just the raw materials left over. Nothing Mega Man 5 adds is all too necessary or poignant in what the previous games were lacking, except for perhaps the weapon tank that would’ve been a lifesaver in earlier entries. Still, Mega Man 5 is fortunate to be one of the most agreeable experiences in the at-times excruciating NES library by default of being a Mega Man game. It’s ultimately an exceptional game, but it does nothing to impress the already initiated.
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