(Originally published to Glitchwave on 10/5/2023)
[Image from glitchwave.com]
Zombies Ate My Neighbors
Developer: LucasArts
Publisher: Konami
Genre(s): Horror, Multidirectional Shooter
Platforms: SNES, Genesis/Mega Drive
Release Date: September 24, 1993
Zombies Ate My Neighbors features two playable characters: a “sick” and “radical” teenage boy with spiky blonde hair wearing the classic 3D glasses with red and blue lenses and a girl of a similar age bracket named Julie, who still exudes a tasteful amount of feminization with her kickass fighting combination of a baseball cap and leather jacket. I believe we used to refer to this as the “tomboy” look in the less enlightened era of the 1990s. I chose to play as Zeke not because I’m a sexist or because I’m trying to fulfill some kind of male power fantasy of massacring the throngs of the undead, but because giving the cheerleaders the highest point values wouldn’t make any sense unless they were arbitrarily assigned by a male teenage horndog (unless the game is suggesting something about Julie’s sexuality on top of her choice of outfit). You see, the past tense form of “ate” is rather misleading. Zombies have not eaten Zeke and Julie’s neighbors yet, so the game is neither a mission of vengeance nor is it the breaking point of the zombie outbreak where they are the two remaining human survivors. Actually, all of their neighbors seem to be treating the zombie outbreak around their town with a sense of aloofness, going about their business as usual as if they weren’t in any danger. Because the denizens of whatever American town this is are so oblivious to the current crisis surrounding them, Zeke and Julie have to round up their stupid asses and bring them to safety from an isometric viewpoint. Once they’ve all been accounted for (all of the ones that are still alive by the end, at least), the player can move on to the next level with their victory signified by a magic door portal materializing in front of them. Their neighbors are categorized by a smattering of neighborly folk including a man at his barbeque, a guy floating in his pool, a middle-aged couple tied at the hip, a ginger-haired girl hopping on a trampoline, babies, etc. Of course, how could I forget about the squad of cheerleaders? They are apparently the most valuable neighbors to rescue in the game’s points system, while the stern, sexless schoolmarms are worth the least. Frankly, it seems harsh to distribute differing levels of value to certain kinds of people, but this is a dire situation where all societal niceties have to be disregarded. I would think the archeologist, a man of science, would be imperative to have in a post-zombie society, but maybe Zeke is smarter than he looks and is thinking ahead for a repopulation scenario with these pom-pom girls. Nah, Zeke was probably still thinking about populating with these cheerleaders far before patient zero of this outbreak ever surfaced.
While the sluggish reanimated corpses are indeed a common enemy type in Zombies Ate My Neighbors, this factor of the game also isn’t telling the whole truth. Yes, the rotting, emaciated undead are the most common threat to the neighbors, but they are hardly the only kind of danger on the prowl. Do titles like, “chainsaw-wielding maniacs decapitated my neighbors” and “giant spiders swallowed my neighbors” not have the same ring to them? “Dolls chopped up my children” is catchy, but no parent in the 90s would stand for that title. The true identity behind Zombies Ate My Neighbors is really a comprehensive homage to the horror genre, a vehicle in gaming popularized by Konami’s staple series Castlevania. Sharing the isometric screen with the zombies is practically every conceivable horror movie monster ever to scare the shit out of people through the celluloid. The Universal movie monsters move next door from their trailers at the Castlevania set to haunt the domestic lawns of the common folk. The atomic age is greatly represented by mutated insects, aliens, giant blobs, and pod people that will catch the player off guard when they see clones of themselves roaming around. The game is even up to date with horror history with the burly psychos and their loud lumberyard contraption, along with the pint-sized dolls possessed by demonic forces. Sadly, the game did not find a clever way to manifest existential or psychological horror as an enemy to chase our protagonists around and send their neighbors to the great beyond. As the final enemy roster for the game is, it speaks volumes about how storied the horror genre has become over the several decades since it was founded and how it has adapted and evolved with growing societal trends. The monster mash coalition here doesn’t seem out of place and provides plenty of surprises with the vast enemy variety.
Considering that the range of monsters that are running amok in people’s backyards is an eclectic array of abominations, Zeke and Julie need a suitably large arsenal to match. Their base weapon that starts the game is a squirt gun with a surprisingly stacked number of water magazines to not leave the player defenseless in the early levels. The gun will be formidable enough against any zombie, but its defenses against all of the other monsters is but a tepid splash. Don’t tell me the guys with the hockey masks who are clearly inspired by Jason Voorhees aren’t averse to H2O like I’m not knowledgeable on my horror lore. Other weapons picked up off the ground that will prove more effective in sending these vile fiends back to hell are soda cans that act as domestic grenades, a cross, silverware to fend off werewolves, and a bushel of food items such as popsicles and tomatoes. I’d comment that the oddly childish weapons at hand make for a feeble arsenal unfit to fight off the hoards of monsters, but perhaps it's appropriate because the two main characters are kids using all that they have at their disposal. Then I remembered the military-grade Bazooka complete with ballistic missiles and realized this game was just wacky. It was developed by LucasArts, after all. Some weapons have alternate properties for other uses like freezing enemies with the fire extinguisher and mowing the infected plant growths with the weed whacker. Located right of the weapon roulette on the screen are the alternate items. Keys will be the most plentiful priority on this wheel to traverse through the levels without complications, but it also keeps other defensive methods in stock. Planting an inflatable clown will hoodwink the monster into attacking it until it pops, and consuming the contents of the potions has a number of mysterious effects. If luck is on your side, the potion might transform Zeke or Julie into a Hulk-like monster and pummel zombies with their fists for a brief period. Of course, the kits with the red crosses on them are health items. While the resources here waver in utility, the player is still forced to be resourceful because every resource is scant. It’s advisable to not jet to the exit door as a job well done because the player could’ve missed a quantity of keys, ammunition, or medkits which would prepare them for the future.
I implore any future player of this game to take the extra initiative to find as many items as possible because the later levels are no joke. I thought the hedge maze and the frantic, giant baby boss were a struggle, but I’d gladly face both of them over the horrors on the horizon. I couldn’t concentrate on the radar with the UFO hovering over my head, and the linebackers were none too pleased with Zeke receiving all that positive attention from their female counterparts with the pom-poms, charging at him with a deadly vengeance. The level that destroyed me was the one with the goliath-sized worms that burrow through the ground like in Tremors, for I couldn’t hit them with any of my bazooka shells to save my life. Like many games on the SNES, Zombies Ate My Neighbors does not feature a save system. While I bemoan the passwords in most pixelated games of the time, the one here is at least short and the player can use it to hop past four levels after the horrific hoards subdue them. However, abusing the password system is not recommended because the game will teleport the player to a later level with the base materials of the squirt gun. Don’t press your luck and just rinse and repeat with every failure. I guess rival studio Capcom had the right idea with incorporating trained soldiers to dispose of the undead because if the protagonists are extraordinarily capable, at least completing the game will be feasible.
Zombies Ate My Neighbors isn’t schlocky at all. The B-movie title may allude to cheap thrills and kills, but the game is more substantial than I ever imagined. The LucasArts genetic code half has a strong presence with the game’s cartoonish silliness, which is certainly charming. Beneath the silly surface, mastering Zombies Ate My Neighbors requires treating the game with a sense of urgency like a bonafide survival horror game. I, however, do not have the patience or chutzpah to eventually blaze through all of the steep challenges. I will appreciate the craft of Zombies Ate My Neighbors for the fraction of levels I can actually complete before the game turns into an ugly nightmare.
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