Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 6/10/2023)

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Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards

Developer: Hal Laboratories

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): 2D Platformer

Platforms: N64

Release Date: March 24, 2000

It was inevitable that Kirby would arrive on the N64 soon enough. Not all of Nintendo’s franchises were privileged enough to make the radical transition to the next realm of polygons during the N64 era when the concept of doing so was revolutionary. Still, one could be confident that Kirby would grace the console with his glowing, pink presence eventually. For the past two console generations, Kirby had to make his mark at the end of a system’s lifespan, often well over its prime as if he’s a hospice nurse ready to aid the system into shedding its mortal coil comfortably. Really, Kirby’s impact on the two previous generations is a nice, relaxing rest after a long, arduous period of pain and punishment dealt out by the games from the (S)NES eras. While Kirby was a vital proponent during the pixelated periods as a soothing bath to soak those wounds, it’s debatable whether or not his services were still needed in the 3D era. Crafting video games on a whole new axis forced developers to reconsider difficulty since players were no longer restricted to the spatially flat terrain of 2D. Sure, the N64 showcased some titles that ignited a fit of rage in players with the fresh face of 3D, but Nintendo themselves were hardly the ones dishing out the torment. One could make an argument about the slippery jank in Super Mario 64, or F-Zero X’s perilous speeds that sent players careening over the tracks too many times to count. All the same, miscalculating a jump or one’s high velocity in either Nintendo property on the N64 isn’t the same as having to start from square one after getting a game over or minuscule health pools where a single hit means biting the dust. Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards turned out to be more like a calming break for the developers than the players.

I’m not implying that Kirby 64 wasn’t given the same amount of effort and care as the previous Kirby games. What would make me come to the conclusion that this Kirby game gave the developers less hell than the other Nintendo titles on the system? Well, the answer is simple: Kirby 64 is not a 3D game. After a whole generation of insisting that the 2D perspective was obsolete and pixels were indicative of poor graphical quality, Nintendo ceased their bullheadedness with Kirby of all series. Graphics during this era that attempted to render less realistic environments aged more gracefully. Considering that the pink puffball and the intergalactic fantasy land he inhabits are about as realistic as a schoolboy’s classroom daydreams, one would think Kirby would flourish in a 3D environment on the N64. Surprisingly, Kirby 64 makes an unyielding compromise between the two-dimensional plains with a “2.5D” perspective, which involves a game with 3D graphics that controls the 2D axis with some automated isometric angles in the presentation to further express that balance. Kirby 64 marks the first time a platformer used this graphical compromise on the N64, but those who opted for the first PlayStation console will recognize this as Klonoa’s signature style. Nevertheless, the odd crossover of perspectives most likely proved to be a relief for Nintendo because they weren’t forced to pull up the proverbial rug and start anew in 3D as they did for both Mario and Zelda. Kirby 64 is essentially a 2D Kirby game with 3D graphics, and the extra polygons on display here make the game a visual delight. Kirby’s world already popped with candy-colored effervescence when it was being generated with pixels, and now the land of pure imagination still looks marvelous even with the growing pains of 3D graphics. Kirby 64 is by far one of the most visually striking games on the N64, and the 2.5D perspective allows the player to see the ethereal realm from all sorts of new angles. Realism is the antithesis of Kirby, so all of the unsanded edges that came with early 3D attempting something discernable to real life can be excused. Also, it’s impressive how smooth the animation is during every cutscene.

One aspect of Kirby 64 I’m not sure I can absolve is the controls. For the damndest reason, the directional controls of Kirby 64 are operated exclusively on the N64 controller’s D-Pad. I understand Nintendo’s thought process behind this decision, for Kirby doesn’t need the same range of analog verticality when he’s confined to the X-axis. Still, I wish the player was allowed to use the analog stick if they so choose, even if the N64’s analog stick is placed in the most inconvenient, uncomfortable spot on the controller like a mechanical hemorrhoid. By this point in the first 3D generation, Sony had introduced the Dualshock controller with two analog sticks, so Nintendo can’t use the excuse they didn’t know that analog controls could’ve navigated Kirby through Dreamland regardless of whether or not the game required more from the pink orb than moving left and right. The N64’s D-Pad simply wasn’t initially designed with character movement in mind, and Kirby 64 proves it. The player really has to mash the D-pad in either direction in order to get Kirby to move, with Kirby being unable to sprint unless the player squishes the D-Pad with the might of stomping grapes. On top of the calculated decision to relegate the general controls to a more rigid place on the controller, transferring to the third dimension has made Kirby feel more lethargic than when he was soaring through a pixelated landscape. The little guy huffs and puffs slower, and the developers decided to nerf his awesome ability to boundlessly keep himself afloat. After a certain point, Kirby will break out in a sweat and descend from his flight like a deflated balloon. Perhaps he’d have more stamina if he cut back on his habit of consuming every piece of solid matter in the universe, and the years of abusing his stomach have finally caught up to him.

In this case, it’s a relief that a stiffer, aging Kirby has a tightly-knit group of friends to aid him on his quest to save Dreamland from plunging into darkness once again. In this context, that darkness is the enigmatic Dark Matter creatures that return from the previous two Dreamland games. Their ominous presence plagues a ringed, heart-shaped planet, and one of the fairy inhabitants named Ribbon escapes the one-eyed clouds of black space dust on a flying gemstone. Ribbon crash lands on Kirby’s home planet of Pop Star and beseeches him to collect the shattered remnants of the eponymous crystal stars. Along the way, Kirby forms a posse of buddies including a Waddle Dee with zero discernible features from the rest of his ilk, a human painter named Adeline, and the royal ruler of Dreamland himself: King Dedede. Finally, the robed penguin king of space’s astral plane realized that it’s more beneficial to collaborate with Kirby in the cause to save his kingdom rather than antagonize him as usual. Friendship has been an applicable theme in Kirby for quite a while to enhance the franchise's lightheartedness, but Kirby 64 approaches the dynamic differently than in any Dreamland game or Kirby Super Star. Kirby’s gang will assist him periodically depending on the given situation in a level. For instance, the Waddle Dee doesn’t seem as bland and featureless when he hooks Kirby up with a smattering of vehicles like an inflatable raft, minecart, and snowmobile. Adeline materializes health items by drawing them on a canvas with her magical paintbrush, and Kirby will piggyback onto King Dedede so the player can whack at durable obstacles with his massive trademark hammer for the duration of the end of one screen to the other. Kirby’s friends' assistance feels less prevalent on the field than the animal buddies or the enemy partners from Super Star, yet their comparatively minimal presence still makes for a fun changeup in gameplay.

Progression in Kirby 64 sees Kirby traveling right from Pop Star to five other planets situated along the same galactic orbit. Each planet’s theme throughout its four or so levels along with its boss fits the world like a glove. For example, the levels on Aqua Star all involve water in some capacity, either sloshing through it on the shores of a beach or swimming through the perilous underwater depths of the ocean planet. Neo Star showcases some primal terrains of a humid jungle, culminating in Kirby finding himself at the core of an active volcano. Shiver Star has the most interesting theme in that it appears to be a frigid form of Earth, reimagined as the snowy grounds of an industrial toy factory. Is this an ecological statement from the developers suggesting that our practices could steer the Earth into state of uninhabitable, polar condemnation? It’s rather bleak for a Kirby game, even if the planet’s territory is reminiscent of the North Pole and its Christmas cheer. Still, Shiver Star and every planet to its left along the way showcases that Kirby 64 surprisingly might have the most concise level of organization in the series thus far. To think that the game managed to pull this off without using the gimmicky episodic frames seen in Super Star.

Really, the standout attribute seen in Kirby 64 is the powers Kirby sucks up, and this is more relevant to this game than any previous title. The total number of absorbable powers is reduced from Kirby Super Star, but the game compensates with something extraordinary. With a feature that is endemic to Kirby 64 for some reason or other, the puffball can now combine the attributes of more than one special ability at a time. Kirby can build upon a preexisting power by sucking up another enemy with the same elemental property, making a stronger evolution of that particular move. The real joy of Kirby’s newfound potential comes with removing his current power and chucking it at another enemy, and sucking up the eight-sided star to combine the two. Some stellar mixes include the gunpowder of the bomb move with igniting the fire move to make fireworks that scatter in a colorful glory as Kirby hops around. Bomb and Cutter crafts a limitless supply of explosive shurikens that stick to enemies on contact. Spark and Needle form a lightning conductor that makes enemies extra crispy, and combining the cutter move with either fire or spark lets Kirby brandish a Goliath fire sword or a double-sided lightsaber. Is that not the sickest shit you’ve ever heard? The one that amuses me the most is fire and spark because Kirby sets himself ablaze with the friction of a moist towel and runs around frantically in pain. The sheer creativity of Hal Laboratories thrived here as there are over 30 unique combinations for Kirby to use, and my curiosity in combining powers just to see what they amounted to was always invigorating.

To my dismay, the vast majority of the combinations suck (no pun intended). Aiming the fire arrow is far too imprecise, and the impact of the stone-bomb dynamite will take a hefty chunk off Kirby’s health. The walking suicide bomber snowman is not as cool as it sounds because Kirby can’t control when it explodes. Kirby skating with an ice-cutter is cute and all, but it hardly counts as an attack. The same goes for the laughably contrastive fire and ice, which simply melts an ice cube. If this is the best they could come up with, why bother? At the same time, moves like the fireworks and the form of a refrigerator break the game to a point where Kirby is nearly invincible. I suppose I can’t be surprised that in a series where the protagonist can fly around without impunity, the new feature would be just as unbalanced. Still, it's disappointing to see how many combinations are either impractical, redundant or simply lame. What’s worse is that the game incorporates the shittier combinations with retrieving the crystal stars. There are three per level and some of them require a specific combination to unlock. A problem arises when the enemies needed for that combination aren’t present in that level, so the player will have to look for the enemies that possess these traits and carry the crappy combination for the whole level without dying. This fetch quest was not enjoyable at all.

So is it worth collecting all of Kirby 64’s main platformer MacGuffin even if the process wears on the player? Sort of. Neglecting these shards results in an unresolved ending where the true source of the black scourge is hidden away inside the Fairy Queen and reveals himself as a mighty entity called 0 Squared. The true ending commences with one brief level in a hazy realm of antimatter, followed by a Star Fox-esque space shooter fight that actually looks three-dimensional. I went through the trouble to face the game’s secret final boss because it lives in mild infamy, but I’ve come to find that its notoriety stems from the fact that his eye eventually starts bleeding instead of his difficulty. The elemental cube boss preceding this inflicted more pain on me. Hell, the shark, the molten mound of magma, and even Wispy proved to be more formidable bosses than this angelic abomination. The final payoff is that Kirby and his friends are rewarded crystal shard medals in a ceremony that mirrors the final scene of Star Wars. All I can do is shrug from feeling underwhelmed.

Kirby’s 3D debut was not as grand as his fellow Nintendo mascots. Then again, Kirby’s role in Nintendo’s catalog of characters is to wind down after we become too engrossed with the company’s monumental releases. Hal Laboratories sure did treat themselves in this iteration of Kirby, for they figured that Kirby was content with sticking to his traditional 2D area of movement instead of reinventing the wheel in a whole new dimension. At its core, Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards is a tried and true Kirby game as the ones on the more primitive systems, and maybe that’s refreshing on a console where the gameplay identities of so many Nintendo series were totally refurbished to fit the new polygonal plane. Because of this, comparing Kirby 64 with past Kirby titles is more than justified, and I’m afraid that it doesn’t rank up with either Kirby’s Adventure or Super Star. The stilted controls and wasted potential of the ingenious new power system bog Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards down a bit, unfortunately.