Splatterhouse Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 10/2/2022)

[Image from igdb.com]

Splatterhouse

Developer: Namco

Publisher: Namco

Genre(s): Horror, Beat em' Up

Platforms: Arcade, TurboGrafx-16

Release Date: November 1, 1988

Tis’ the spooky season yet again, and what better time than this to discuss the 1988 arcade game Splatterhouse? Any other time of the year would feel inappropriate, for Splatterhouse is arguably the penultimate old-school horror game. One might get the impression from Castlevania that games of the pixelated eras were restrictive on the horror factor they could provide, mirroring the long history of how the Hays Code affected the content of the film industry. Splatterhouse is certainly proof that this is not the case, and that Castlevania is intentionally quaint. Splatterhouse may seem tame nowadays compared to the nihilistic, psychological horrors in the third-dimension we’ve experienced since its release, but Splatterhouse was the gnarliest horror video game of its time. If Castlevania was a tribute to classic horror tropes and characters, then Splatterhouse served as a contemporary cavalcade of 1980s horror.

The 1980s was synonymous with the slasher genre. Gritty violence and gore that stemmed from the grindhouse exploitation films of the 1970s put asses in theater seats and spawned several multi-million dollar franchises. This era of horror may have set a precedent that turned the genre into a cheap joke that no one took seriously for many subsequent decades, but it was an incredibly prosperous time for the genre nonetheless. Splatterhouse may be another 2D side scroller/beat em’ up of its era, but the style is enveloped in the most visceral of 1980s horror gore. The slasher genre might have dominated the 1980’s horror landscape, but Splatterhouse’s grotesque aesthetic reminds me more of Hellraiser, a popular horror film of the decade more akin to body horror and or cosmic, supernatural horror. The walls of each area are splattered (no pun intended) with the pulpy mess of the entrails of unknown carcasses. The monsters are all otherworldly abominations straight from Clive Barker’s warped sketchbook. The player can decapitate these unholy beasts with a meat cleaver, causing their bodies to gush and ooze blood and gore like a sieve. It’s a freaky splendor of the senses just like Hellraiser. With these elements, Splatterhouse does an effective job at providing the thrills and chills of a 1980’s horror movie in an interactive medium.

As a 2D side scroller that combines elements of beat em’ ups and platforming, Splatterhouse is rudimentary to a fault. Each level in Splatterhouse is a straightaway hall whether it be within the walls of the estate or near the grounds. The game offers alternate routes to diversify the narrow trajectory but they are so few and far between. Besides, most of the sections the player will uncover by falling through holes will usually bring them to a sewer level where they will slosh through knee-high water. It feels like more of a punishment for error rather than a lark. Enemies tend to be sluggish and all of them run at the player with the urgency of a Romero zombie, and I don’t believe this is an intentional nod to the filmmaker. Despite this, Splatterhouse still holds the mantle of excruciating difficulty that arcade games are known for, albeit for all the wrong reasons. Some enemies like the monster fetuses and the slime monsters in the underground sections spawn on top of the player, unfairly damaging them. Health in Splatterhouse is precious and must be conserved because the game only offers five points of health represented by beating veiny hearts. There are no health items to restore a heart until the end of a level where the game will only replenish two of them from the player’s current amount. Why not start a level with full health? Not doing so seems like an unfair penalty that will reduce the playtime of Splatterhouse more drastically, even more so than most arcade games.

Truly, the most flawed aspect of Splatterhouse is its protagonist, Rick. Like many heroes in horror media, he’s a victim of circumstance as his girlfriend gets captured by the creatures in the horrific mansion they take refuge in during a storm. Rick is knocked unconscious but gets resurrected by a supernatural mask that transforms him into something of Jason Vorhees mashed with the steroid-abuse build of The Incredible Hulk. He’s a fairly sympathetic protagonist, even though he looks like an intimidating boss from every other piece of horror media. However, his brutish demeanor is the crux of Splatterhouse’s issues. Rick is the most awkward playable character in any 2D sidescroller due to his monstrous physique. The man has the subtlety of a gorilla, and he has made me realize that sidescroller protagonists need a sense of nimbleness to be competent. Rick’s standard punching and kicking feel stilted, and whoever decided Splatterhouse needed to have platforming sections pulled a cruel, sick joke on the player. I only felt comfortable when Rick was holding any weapons because of the extended range, but they seemed to only appear in the earlier levels. Only someone of Rick’s stature could be fitting for a twisted game like Splatterhouse, but the developers should’ve worked on refining his character.

Is Splatterhouse only impressive on a superficial level? Sadly, yes. Splatterhouse most likely was a cutting-edge game that set a new bar for parent concern for violent content in video games, but that sense of spectacle wears thin when players start to realize how shallow Splatterhouse is as a game. It’s almost indicative of the substance of many of the horror movies that inspired it. The best way to experience Splatterhouse is to witness it from a glance from someone playing it in the arcades, for the console version on the Turbo-Grafx compromises a lot of the gore due to censorship. Also, it helps to travel back to the late 80's for the full effect, but that’s impossible. Splatterhouse is but a footnote in horror games and nothing else.