Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 7/7/2020)

[Image from glitchwave.com]

Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated

Developer: Purple Lamp Studios

Publisher: THQ Nordic

Genre(s): 3D Platformer

Platforms: PC, PS4, Xbox One, Switch

Release Date: June 23, 2020

I am still in a state of bewilderment that a remake of this game exists. Once the initial surprise that a remake of this game was going to be a reality wore off, I was a little worried about the final result. Early demos of Jellyfish Fields looked a lot like Froopyland from Rick and Morty and the dialogue conversations between characters weren't animated yet. I assumed that this was only a beta version and once they improved on everything, my assumption was affirmed. Jellyfish Fields was looking extraordinary and the dialogue animations were fully updated and far more expressive. Personally, even though I think it's a change that makes sense, I prefer the limited expressions of the characters in the original. It made every course of dialogue seem more deadpan. It's not a criticism as much as it is a personal preference. As the updates went on, the remake looked a little more...drowned. It looked as if you submerged a painting into a tank of water. Once the game came out, my suspicions about the new look were relieved. The game is absolutely gorgeous. Every level looks more vibrant, every level is a lot lighter, and the general aesthetic of the game looks borderline cel-shaded. Jellyfish Fields finally has noticeable grass, Rock Bottom is covered in neon lighting, and the Kelp Forest? The infuriatingly dark level that most people skipped? They gave it a complete makeover with natural forest light decorating every path. Every so often, I'd stop and take a deep breath to fully appreciate the spectacle of the improved graphics. If only the developers of the remake left everything else alone.

On top of a total graphical re-haul, the remake changes a few other things. The gameplay is not as smooth as it was in the original and I know exactly why that is. Over the past 2 or so years, Battle for Bikini Bottom has had a resurgence of popularity in the Twitch speed-run community. Players exploit the ease of the movement to beat the game in under an hour and the developers made sure that they wouldn't be able to do that in the remake. Now, those same speed runners exploit a glitch in the remake that warps them to the final boss, so good job Purple Lamp, you really showed them. As a result, the characters feel like they need to accelerate a bit to start moving and the frame rate gets compromised at times, but it's not really a big deal. What is a big deal is that combat against the robots doesn’t have that nice crunch to it in either the sound or the physics. The gameplay has become as dry as the interior of Sandy’s Treedome. Purple Lamp have also made the game much easier. The slide mechanic feels so stilted after they change it to control much easier (and I don't like the speed effect they added either). It's a shame because Sand Mountain was my favorite area in the original, but now the downward movement of the slides just doesn't feel as natural anymore. Speaking of slides, I was greatly disappointed at the fact that they completely changed the Kelp Slides. Sure, it was the hardest thing in the original, but it was satisfying pulling off the giant leap to beat Mermaid Man's time. There are even checkpoints in the final level. For a game that was already easy enough, it really didn't need these changes. Perhaps that's a rigid view of things considering I've played this game more than I've had real human contact, but c'mon, it's a fucking Spongebob game. On the other side of the coin, I was also disappointed that they didn't add the lost sections that were supposed to be in the original. I was excited to fight Robot Squidward and play through Patrick's dessert dream, but it didn't happen. Apparently, they added it in the subpar multiplayer which I have no intention of playing.

I'm enthralled that after so many years that my favorite game when I was 8 years old still has some relevance in this day and age. I'm even more enthralled that the relevance has warranted a remake after all these years. Even though it looks gorgeous, I'm sad to say that the original is still the better game. The differences the remake makes are small, but they are enough to bother me as none of them besides the graphics positively affect the game in any way. It's an adequate effort on Purple Lamp's part, and I wish I could say more than that. A remake inherently fails when it does not surpass its original in anything besides aesthetic qualities.