Monday, June 30, 2025

Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins Review

(Originally published to Glitchwave on 5/7/2025)





 








[Image from glitchwave.com]


Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): 2D Platformer

Platforms: Game Boy

Release Date: October 21, 1992


How much improvement can one series strive for when it’s being subjugated by primitive technology? That’s the question I’d like everyone to keep in mind when evaluating Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins. The “Mario Land” subseries that ran exclusively on the original Game Boy was intended to merely supplement time spent away from its console counterpart, mostly on occasions where the young demographic were whisked away not on their own volition. The little handheld could never possibly hope to compete with the console hardware that it was providing a “cheaper” (in the sense of experience, not price) alternative for, so every game on it had to compensate with creativity. The first Super Mario Land sent our plucky plumber to lands totally removed from the Mushroom Kingdom standby, as well as put him in scenarios that the mainline Super Mario Bros. would never consider. Still, despite its striving to offer something original and succeeding, I suspect that the rudimentary hardware of the Game Boy was the reason why the whole Super Mario Land experience ended as soon as it began. While the sequel to Super Mario Land is still limited by the confines of the same black and white brick as the first game, it’s almost fascinating how much more the developers were able to achieve in terms of broadening a mobile Mario’s expanse and ingenuity. To compound on that, it’s astounding how Super Mario Land 2 is almost the greatest outing in Mario’s early days. Key word: almost.

To make itself discernible from its console counterpart, the Mario Land games deviate greatly from the tired tropes that tend to bog down mainline Mario with overuse. These familiarities include placing Bowser as the primary antagonist, and the executive heads at Nintendo told King Koopa to once again take a much-needed leave of absence for the second Land title. The first Land title supplemented Peach for Daisy to slightly spruce up the exhausted damsel in distress role, but the sequel here also extends Bowser’s mandated vacation time to any and all princesses. The conflict in Super Mario Land 2 instead stems from the shenanigans of a fresh-faced Wario, Mario’s sleazy, slovenly, and stinky anti-self doppelganger. Eventually, he’d become as iconic as the secondary Mario characters who are absent from this title, mostly due to the influx of Mario Parties and various sports games that feature the plumber and the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom’s finest. Here in his debut, Wario is but a rambunctious rascal who has somehow taken control over Mario’s estate located in the center of an island that Mario holds a deed to, or something of that sort. Again, starting further from Mario conventions with a new villain stirring up a totally new conflict is something I commend and encourage for any Mario title.

The recuperation process that Mario must undergo is finding the six golden coins alluded to in the title. Their value will not bring Mario opulent riches beyond comprehension, but rather, they are the keys that unlock the front entrance to Mario’s castle. Whether Wario hid these valuable trinkets for good measure after securing Mario’s property or Mario made his security measure as circuitous as possible cannot be confirmed, but they are the Macguffin rewards unlocked by finishing a world and its climactic boss. Before I discuss the meat of Super Mario Land 2 that is its levels, I feel obliged to detail the nifty way in which these levels are orchestrated. Super Mario Bros. 3 played around with the idea of letting the player select its levels in a non-linear fashion, but the range of selection was still rather restricted on the grid schematic. In Super Mario Land 2, the novel idea that the console Mario games were too reserved to fully flaunt extends its potential to something describable as freeform and nonlinear. Mario can conquer the six worlds and retrieve their circular keys in whichever order he pleases. While I would argue that some worlds provide a more substantial challenge than others, the fact that there are no arbitrary borders between them is exciting. The player can even visit the gambling house a limitless number of times to stock up on lives, provided they have at least a modest amount of coins to spare. The map may not be as expansive as any rendering of Hyrule, but I will accept any inkling of allowing player autonomy in any video game, no matter how small. It’s ironic how the mechanically diminished handheld is the one to unshackle the technical boundaries that limited its console equivalents.

The astounding advancements in the design of Super Mario Land 2 come as a total surprise, but what remains constant from the first game is the heightened creativity on display. The first Super Mario Land game took Mario on an Arabic-inspired journey that involved piloting mechanical contraptions that soared through the skies and swam in the seas above and below the standard platforming in between. It thrust Mario in a setting with scenarios he hadn’t undergone before, and it was a refreshing change of pace for a franchise that tends to be rather formulaic. Its sequel is equally as daring with setting Mario in uncharted territory, but it doesn’t stick to a cohesive theme. Instead, the creativity on display in Super Mario Land 2 is dispersed over the six “worlds.” Each major setting features its own individual themes that are totally unique from one another. “Tree Zone” involves Mario ascending up a colossal oak through its interior, using the sticky sap it excretes as an environmental tool to feasibly hop across wide platforms. Traversing through the inside of a gargantuan tree makes the player feel small, but the size-inverse of the fan favorite “Giant Land” from Super Mario Bros. 3 in “Macro Land” will definitely instill a sense of diminutiveness in the player as they stomp on ants that look big enough to eat Mario whole. When a sperm whale does consume Mario in the water world of “Turtle Zone,” the dank, claustrophobic interior anatomy of the giant sea mammal is quite sublime. It’s no wonder that the Zelda series keeps returning to this fantastical setting, and Mario had already beaten them to the punch. “Pumpkin Zone” plays on my penchant for Halloween-themed levels, but I’m also partial to the lighthearted whimsy of toy-themed levels that comprise “Mario Land.” “Space Zone” seems more separated from the rest of the locales on the map because the trip to it is a level in itself. Still, I suppose it makes sense that a setting located inherently outside the planetary atmosphere would require additional steps to arrive there. Mario’s first venture to the dark depths of space here still evokes that feeling of wonder as his future title, whose entire theme centered around the infinite realm of the cosmos. It goes without saying, but the diversity that Super Mario Land 2 bestows in its level themes is delicious, offering the same range of setpieces as Super Mario Bros. 3 without dipping into any cliches.

However, the number of levels per world in Super Mario Land 2 is unfortunately inconsistent. For some reason or other, some worlds are blessed with five or six levels, while others are given a piddly two or three. One would think the worlds with the smaller level selection would compensate with length, like the songs of a progressive rock album, but they should ideally take the same amount of time to complete. The uneven level distribution probably wouldn’t be an issue if not for the fact that the game is an overall walk in the park, another promising theme for one of the game’s worlds, if it didn’t overlap with each one that was actually included. Add to the fact that extra lives can be stocked in bulk thanks to the end-of-level crane games and the abundance of coins for the slot machine, and Super Mario Land 2 is practically carrying the player to the finish line on a palanquin. Or, at least that’s the impression that I got for the majority of the game. Once all six coins were collected and I was faced with the final level of Wario’s domain, it was the point when this puppy started to gnash its fangs like a wolf. It’s perfectly sensible that the final level should be the apex challenge in any game, but it seems as if Super Mario Land 2 has allocated all traces of difficulty to the final level and the final level alone. Wario must be a master technician in the field of booby traps, for this castle is rigged with battalions of piranha plants shooting waves of fireballs at every angle, giant magnetic balls whose pendulous swing cramps the space of the screen, and platforms between calamitous pits of lava that are so slim that they’re practically spires. The cherry on top of this brutal sundae is the fact that the game doesn’t offer any checkpoints, so one hasty move will send the player right back to the entrance. I suggest that everyone stock up on lives like people stash toilet paper in the event of a pandemic, for it's the only way of ensuring enough trial and error before all of Mario’s lives exhaust in attempting to surpass this demanding excursion. Fortunately, the fight against Wario that follows does not feature the same complications as the journey to his chamber. He’ll copy Mario’s fire flower and bunny-eared glide move, but he’s too predictable in his attack patterns. Perhaps he wouldn’t move so sluggishly if he had some self-control with his food intake, eh? All the same, I’m glad I never had to test whether or not starting the fight finally signaled a checkpoint for this godforsaken finale.

It may still be in black and white, but Super Mario Land 2 is anything but minimal. Admittedly, I see cuts in the game with the brief length of its levels as evidence, but let’s not dwell on its shortcomings in a literal, technical sense. The first Super Mario Land strived for creativity to make itself stand out among its more mechanically gifted peers in lieu of being unable to compete with their more advanced hardware. Super Mario Land 2 broadens the first game’s initiative in spades with its extensive range of level designs, but I’d argue that some aspects, like its freeform level design, outclass the parameters of the console Mario games. Hell, the final level made me sweat profusely at every step, but the fact that the steepest Mario challenge is on a handheld title is telling that there is a hidden strength behind Super Mario Land 2 that the console games lack. In an objective sense, Super Mario Land 2 is still undermined by the Game Boy’s limitations, therefore making it ultimately inferior. Still, the fresh content that the first Super Mario Land title provided in a small sampler has been broadened to something more substantial in its sequel, giving the player enough to chew on to put it on a fairly equal plane with at least some of the mainline Mario titles. I’d rather experience something brimming with buoyancy that was marred by endearing cracks in its foundation rather than a well-oiled machine that offered the standard affair, and I’m certainly not alone in this sentiment.

Kirby's Dream Land 3 Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 4/29/2025)













[Image from igdb.com]


Kirby's Dream Land 3

Developer: HAL Laboratories

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): 2D Platformer

Platforms: SNES

Release Date: November 27, 1997


Kirby’s Dream Land 3 sticks out like a sore thumb. For one, it’s the third entry in a Kirby subseries that up until now has been released exclusively on the original Game Boy. Propelling the initial line of Kirby games from a handheld to the console running concurrently with it should seem like an ideal upgrade. However, Nintendo failed to realize that the third Dream Land entry is now in the same league as the Kirby heavy hitters, since it’s not restricted by the Game Boy’s primitive hardware. One would likely place higher expectations on Dream Land 3, considering its advantages, but the game is not at all comparable to the epic scale of Kirby’s Adventure or the sheer variety of Kirby Super Star. All Dream Land 3 does is make me reach a point of clarity, that maybe the rudimentary nature of the Game Boy was not what inherently plagued all of the games sharing the same title.

Well, I suppose it’s lovely seeing Kirby with his fluorescent pink hue again. HAL Laboratories decided not to maintain the Game Boy’s minimalism as a defining trait of the subseries, wisely choosing to depict Dream Land with the same colorful detail as they would with any other SNES game. Still, restoring Dream Land to its state of effervescence with a 16-bit machine is too simple. The restoration process in question evidently involved tracing in the black and white bits of the Dream Land series with crayon, intended to emulate the childlike, whimsical visual style of Yoshi’s Island. Given that the Kirby series is catered to the same, particularly young demographic as Yoshi’s protagonist debut, the cherubic tint of colorful paraffin wax works wonders in pronouncing Dream Land’s wondrous atmosphere. HAL Laboratories probably saw the distinctive visual flair of Yoshi’s Island and were kicking themselves that Kirby couldn’t have patented it for himself. Fortunately, the Nintendo higher-ups allowed them to borrow this pastel aesthetic, and it’s the best-looking Kirby game thus far.

Sadly, the visual style is THE only redeeming quality of Dream Land 3. I can’t explain this, but somehow, Dream Land 3 manages to underperform even in comparison to its Game Boy predecessors. To start my laundry list of grievances, Kirby has never felt more lethargic. The pink blob has never been as spry as, say, Sonic, but his rate of movement here is sluggish as all hell. When Kirby runs, I half expect him to utter exasperated noises that signal his shortness of breath, like Eric Cartman running the gym class pacer test. One might suggest that the solution to Kirby dragging ass on his feet is to simply take advantage of his limitless floating ability. However, they’d fail to realize that flying too often will mitigate entire levels. More so than any other Kirby title before it, the levels in Dream Land 3 are ridiculously linear. Lifting Kirby to the ceiling and maintaining that elevated position with his innate physical floatiness practically guarantees a smooth, uninterrupted trajectory to the goal door. I’m not recommending that this is the ideal tactic, but what’s realistically stopping the player from doing this? Hell, I found myself floating to victory with ease several times, and I’d probably stick to my laurels of experiencing the level the proper way if there were more obstacles in my way that inhibited me, or if Kirby wasn’t such a sloth on his feet.

Admittedly, the game does give the player incentive not to coast through each level absentmindedly by puffing him up to the skies. How does providing over fifty copy abilities sound? Actually, the abundance of copy abilities to potentially use in Dream Land 3 is only true on a technicality. All of the abilities, minus the absurdly lame broom ability where Kirby sweeps enemies to death, are pretty standard ones we’ve seen before. Burning, ice, spark, stone, cutter, needle, and the indispensable parasol all make their return to diversify Kirby’s combat. The expansion of these typical copy abilities lies in another returning element that is distinctive to the Dream Land subseries: animal buddies. Rick, Kine, and Coo enlist once again to “aid” Kirby whenever the opportunity knocks, along with the newcomers of the chubby cat Nago, pink jellyfish ChuChu, and the green bird Pitch, who is far less stockier than Coo. Gooey is a returning helper whom I was always hesitant to classify as an animal buddy. Not only does the bouncing, googly-eyed mound of putty not resemble any creature of the animal kingdom, but it also trails behind Kirby like a partner in Super Star rather than carrying Kirby in some capacity. In addition, all he does is mimic Kirby’s ability to copy the physical properties of enemies. When Kirby has a power equipped with an animal buddy attached, the copy ability translates to their physical forms, which is how the modest number of copy abilities is amplified at least four times the number of enemies that supply them.

The variety on display here should stimulate a sense of curiosity, but the majority of the animal buddies emulating the powers is disappointingly lame. Watch all of Dream Land’s Waddle Dees tremble in fear when the broom turns Coo into a feather duster that Kirby bats around. Get real. Every power that Pitch reinterprets is a pain to aim, and Kine protruding a plunger or a lightbulb out of his face hole has the attack range of an X-ACTO knife. ChuChu is the only animal buddy who produces copy abilities of any interest, soaring on the broom with the grace of a witch and puffing out spikes with the needle ability that spreads over five different angles. Besides those perks to ChuChu, she still has a habit of inhibiting Kirby’s flight. It illustrates something I harped on with the previous Dream Land game, in that the animal buddies often feel like handicaps to Kirby rather than enhancements as intended. Extending the range of copy ability used with the animal buddies maintains a sense of curiosity, but I’d rather keep abilities like the wheel and microphone if it means that Kirby will retain his inherent physicality no matter what he copies.

The other form of imploring the player not to rely too heavily on Kirby’s inexhaustible flying is the various missions each level subtly provides. The Dream Land 3 equivalent of the second game’s rainbow drop collectible is the “heart star,” rewarded by completing a task outside of the main mission of traveling to the end of a level. Where Dream Land 2 featured one of these subsidiary objectives per world, its follow-up decides to implement an opportunity to earn a heart star for every single level in the game. Some of the extra-curricular tasks each level provides are genuinely engaging, mostly because they involve Nintendo easter eggs like assembling the pieces of ROB, the NES peripheral, and freezing Metroids for Samus. Still, the constant supplementary effort to consider adds a layer of tedium to each level, even if their presence does provide enough activity so the player doesn’t fly away with impunity. Many of these tasks are locked behind a specific copy ability that the player couldn’t have possibly anticipated. This fosters replayability, but I’d rather watch grass grow than travel through most of these levels again. Don’t get me started on the demanding memorization puzzles that lock a few of these heart stars. The added layer of involvement results in feeling like busy work.

Despite the grating nature of collecting the heart stars, there is actually some validity in persevering to experience the game’s ending. There’s something rotten in Dream Land, and it's that damned dark matter again attempting to consume Kirby’s continent. If Whispy’s shocking transformation from bumbling oak to hideous, savage monster isn’t an indication that something is seriously wrong, then I don’t know what could be a cause for concern. To uncover the source of the corruption, the player must gather all of the heart stars and defeat the classic red herring of King Dedede, whose fight this time is quite disturbing, with his possessed body flailing about in the air. The power of the complete set of heart stars reveals the embodiment of Dark Matter as a floating black eye, and Kirby must dispatch the ocular evil with the fully-powered Star Rod in a space-shooter section like in the previous game’s final battle. When this phase is over, this fight gets shockingly gruesome. The Dark Matter eye will expand to a bulbous, white orb and shoot spurts of blood at Kirby as its projectiles. After this gastly display, Dark Matter’s bulging red pupil will dislodge itself from the outer eyeball as the third phase of this fight, before Dream Land is its tranquil self once more. Not only is the three-phase endurance test fairly challenging for a Kirby game, but the boss itself is downright horrific. To think that they reinvigorated Dream Land’s color just to depict this uncharacteristic nightmare!

Nintendo did not give one iota of a fuck about Kirby’s Dream Land 3. Besides placing it on a console that everyone’s moms likely sold at a yard sale in the first year that the N64 was front and center, the third and final Kirby title that directly stemmed from his Game Boy debut barely bothered to add much of anything to the formula. Its laziness also extends to neglecting to address the issues presented in the previous game, namely, with the integration of the animal buddies and the tedium of the extra tasks that unlock the true ending. What surprises me is that, despite the engine it's running on being capable of producing more steam, against all logic, Dream Land 3 fails to catch up to its predecessors, which were already mediocre at best. Masking all of its issues with an attractive aesthetic will only convince Kirby’s most impressionable demographic (children) of its quality, but I see right through it. Maybe the devout Kirby fans will still enjoy this colorful charade, provided that it doesn’t put them to sleep first.

Killer7 Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 4/23/2025)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


Killer7

Developer: Grasshopper Manufacture

Publisher: Capcom

Genre(s): Action-Adventure, Rail Shooter

Platforms: GCN, PS2

Release Date: June 9, 2005


Have I ever told you kids about postmodernism? Bring some snacks and buckle up, for the subject is so massively abstruse that I’ll probably stumble every other step when explaining it. Essentially, postmodernism is an artistic and cultural movement that encapsulates the prevailing attitudes of cutting-edge creators in the modern era, dating back to the early 1950s. The aftermath of World War II catalyzed the shift in the contemporary artist’s creative process just as regular ol’ modernism was spurred as a reaction to the First World War. Society simply couldn’t continue living naively in the loving hands of traditionalism after the advent of the atomic bomb or the Panzerfaust, and our art needed to reflect our ever-growing existential anxieties. I learned about the term/movement through a literary lens in college, discussing works like Beckett blue-balling us in Waiting for Godot and all of the jazzy and provocative pieces composed by the Beatniks. Still, postmodernism also encompasses plenty of other artistic media, ranging from the pop art paintings of Andy Warhol or the unconventional design of postmodern architecture. Arthouse films tend not to be explicitly tagged with the “postmodern” label, but one can easily draw parallels to a postmodern ethos to the stream of consciousness etherealism that drives 8 1⁄2, or the meta structure of Synecdoche, New York. Can video games potentially evoke elements of this sophisticated form of expression, especially since the medium is relatively underdeveloped and perceived as pedestrian? Why would anyone reading this even question that for a second? I suppose the most notable game to implement these kinds of postmodern elements is Metal Gear Solid, although Hideo Kojima’s stealth series tends to pull the switch at jarringly inopportune moments. The last minute clusterfuck, narrative grenade in Metal Gear Solid 2 was like eating a delicious banana to then chomp on the bitter, black bruise at its bottom. Unexpectedly tasting something off-kilter and much less digestible at the end is stomach-churning, which is why the end of Raiden’s conspiratorial conquest left an acrid taste in my mouth. However, one game released a little later in the era, Killer7, makes no pretenses to ever mask its postmodern makeup. This entry in the Capcom Five campaign was director Suda 51’s breakout title that catapulted him to international renown. Astonishingly so, for Killer7 is perhaps the epitome of a postmodern video game, with all of its abstract elements on display in their full glory.

I realize this statement is a bit reductive, but postmodernism tends to be quite weird. You can’t craft an ethos based on subverting familiarities and traditions and not befuddle audiences as a result. Killer7, if you caught the correlation, is a more disorienting experience than sitting through a David Lynch film festival high as a kite on acid. Actually, I’ll bet that most gamers will attribute Killer7’s creative process to the lysergic hallucinogen, but I promise that the game isn’t a nonsensical kaleidoscope of random nonsense. Postmodern artists have a defined and diligent method to their madness, even though most of them, admittedly, imbibed enough smack and junk to take a permanent vacation to cloud nine. I can’t comment whether or not Suda 51 has ever indulged in mind-altering substances, but I can at least detect a solid foundation of sincere inspirational beats behind Killer7’s narrative that would prove that he’s not entirely whacked out on goofballs.

Drawing more parallels to Metal Gear Solid again, the narrative backdrop of Killer7 takes place in an alternate timeline of Earth that is conceptually influenced by the current state of world affairs, as well as its future state based on the insight of present-day conditions. Suda 51’s depiction of a 21st-century society is surprisingly an idyllic one, as every nation has declared world peace by firing their nuclear weapons into the sky to have them explode in a frivolous spectacle like “fireworks” for the Earth’s people to marvel at. Another token of the total harmony between all of Earth’s nations is a bridge being erected over the Atlantic Ocean that would connect North America to Europe (but not Africa? Hmmm…), a monumental stride in transportation too far-fetched for our reality from both a technological and a unification standpoint. The state of Earth in Suda 51’s timeline is so halcyon that it verges on being corny, depicting an unreasonable idealism expressed by the most naive “activists” from the hippy era of the 1960s. However, the reason for making the state of affairs so saccharine is to effectively juxtapose it with the grizzly conflict of Killer7. In the wake of everyone lowering their defensive arms to embrace their international brethren, a terrorist known as Kun Lun is unleashing his “Heaven Smile” puppets on executive members of the United Nations by bombing them unexpectedly in close quarters. All the while, the USA and Japan are considering severing ties with one another for each nation’s personal gains, with the contentions between them showing cracks in the congruous amity that the Earth had finally achieved. The only people up to snuff to deal with both the fallout of the USA and Japan and the deadly new crop of politically-charged suicide bombers is the titular assassin syndicate of “Killer7.” Suda 51 might be cynically chiding the practicality of world peace when the game gives context to its narrative, but it’s far too early to pinpoint a working thesis. Believe me, the conspiratorial cavern that is Killer7’s story becomes far more dense, dank, and confusing as the game progresses.

Even if Suda 51 is intending to convey poignant messages of political commentary, they’re all going to get drowned out by the game’s, let's say, eccentric presentation. It bears repeating, but Killer7 is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. The plot premise that I summarized in the last paragraph isn’t exposited until after the first full mission of the game, and it was likely incorporated so the player’s befuddlement wouldn’t consume the player to the point where they wouldn’t eject the game from the console in a state of total, enveloping brain fog. By the time the player finishes the first mission and receives a crumb of necessary context, they’ve already been exposed to an onslaught of oddities too numerous to quickly detail. I’ll delve into each of those bizarre aspects in their respective fields of context, but for now, I’d like to discuss the general presentational package that contains and supports all of Killer7’s turbulent elements. Because Killer7 is the epitome of expressionism, the last aesthetic tint that Suda 51 would ever strive for is graphical realism. A cartoonish cel-shaded visual style works wonders with Killer7’s pulpy tone, both in the sense of the brand of exploitation fiction it evidently draws conceptual inspiration from and in pronouncing the lurid blood splatter that spills at every waking moment in this game in buckets. During significant cutscenes, the game will adopt an anime style fitting for the native country where the developers reside. Still, incorporating this idiosyncratic Japanese animation style per cutscene would be predictable for a game of this creative caliber. One level, instead, shifts to a more Western-oriented animation style with more synchronized mouth movements for its cutscenes. Dialogue spoken by NPCs on the field sounds like someone swallowed a voice-changing modulator found in the microphone of a toy, making subtitles a requisite in translating the muffled vocal utterances. Starting a level involves shooting a silhouetted version of the level’s primary target, dissipating in a cloud of red particles at the press of a button. When the player dies in combat, the game over screen consists of the character’s head exploding into a bloody splatter painting of a Japanese character. I can’t translate the meaning of this character to an English word, but I’m sure it’s something fittingly blunt or edgy. Little flourishes such as these all comprise the ostentatious flair that marks Killer7’s aesthetic and style. Its myriad of quirks might strike many gamers as off-putting, but I found each element of zaniness greatly amusing throughout.

Naturally, the disorientation that comes with all of Killer7’s stylistic choices also leads to the game exuding a surreal, absurdist tone. For a game with evident political themes, Killer7 consistently verges into the tongue-in-cheek realm of camp (there’s the Metal Gear Solid connection for the umpteenth time). NPCs speak in roundabout riddles when dialogue is prompted on the field, sometimes bleating about personal anecdotes that seem to have zero relevance to the situation at hand. Did I mention that the common NPCs who deliver this dialogue are a gimp making a perpetual shushing motion with his finger and an eyeless man who wears tank tops? The playable characters all have their own distinct, cheesy one-liners they say after critically killing an enemy, and the cult leader, Ulmeyda, looks less like he preaches the gospel and more like he’s on the set of Boogie Nights acting as a stunt cock for Don Cheadle’s character. Still, Killer 7’s favorite form of irreverence dips back into a tenet of postmodernism: pastiche. Specifically, in the vein of pop culture references. The wardrobe of tank tops belonging to the aforementioned eyeless man, Travis, all display single-worded phrases and or niche music genres that change with every encounter. During a tense discussion before a boss fight, the immortal cereal slogan “tricks are for kids” is spoken sincerely as a crafty rebuttal. Carrier pigeons are often found on the field with notes in their talons written to aid the player (as much as the game can possibly allow), and the titles of these notes are all songs by The Smiths. Given that they’re one of my favorite bands, receiving any of these notes from these rats with wings made me embarrassed at the excitement they instilled in me. If a certain foot-fetishizing auteur director is aware of Killer7’s existence, he would probably feel a sense of pride that the pastiche style that skyrocketed him as one of the masters of his profession has been translated to a whole other medium. Still, I don’t think he’d take credit for Suda 51’s vision for Killer7 and demand royalty checks. Pastiche is not something that Tarantino has patented, as it has been used to throw a monkey wrench into the standards of storytelling for ages now. Still, Tarantino should be watchful that another creator uses pastiche with the same caliber of artful tact as he.

But there is genuine relevance to naming the notes after Smiths songs other than tickling the ribs of music nerds such as I. The connection to the band and Killer7 relates to the shared surname of the seven playable members of the Killer7 syndicate, with the ubiquity of the surname serving as a blank, “John Doe” status of these covert assassins. As the number in the syndicate name suggests, there are seven central members of the organization. Technically, in the spirit of Killer7’s abstract fashion, the name is misleading. There are really eight members, but also possibly two or perhaps one agent of death acting solo given that we’ve seen the characters switch from one another in a blink of an eye during many cutscenes. Ultimately, don’t let Killer7’s surreal nature distract from the fact that there are seven playable characters the player switches between on either the kitsch, retro television monitor in the save room or in the pause menu. Similar to most games that offer a selection of characters to pilot, the professional hitmen (and women) of Killer7 are an eclectic cast with diverse character traits and abilities. Dan Smith is a thirty-something white man who approaches the grave complexions of his job with a cocky, brash swagger. Once powered up, his .357 revolver unleashes a blast of energy as staggering as a hadouken. Kaede is the token female member of the group with a scope to aid her shooting, also externalizing her angst by dramatically cutting her wrists and bleeding profusely on specific obstructions to unveil their secrets. Kevin Smith is a shirtless mute who trades the inconvenient condition of reloading that comes with a firearm for a ceaseless pocketful of light shurikens, and turning himself invisible to bypass both lasers and combat altogether. As I’m writing this, I now realize that his name and speechless demeanor are a reference to the recurring character of yet ANOTHER famous film director who also plasters his works in pastiche pop culture references. The homicidal Latino, Coyote Smith, leaps through the air like a grasshopper and picks locks like a cunning thief. Con Smith is referred to as “The Punk” due to his adolescent age and vulgar, immature attitude. His speedy movement isn’t as situationally helpful on the field as the others’ special abilities, but there are times when he can squeeze under tight crevices because his height has not reached its pubescent maximum yet. Luchador “Max de Smith” is an offensive wildcard with his twin grenade launchers, which are also useful for destroying cracked walls. He’s also the most noble and endearing of the bunch, which means he’s the only one in the operation I’d crack open a cold cerveza with amid casual conversation. Topping the ranks is Harman Smith, a wheelchair-bound elderly man who holds the prestigious title as the leader of Killer7. The player will get the chance to wield his gargantuan, shield-shredding rifle in certain scenarios, but he’s mostly relegated to cutscenes where he’s tasting a bit of the S&M from his maid/mistress Samantha. Admittedly, the motley crew of killers the player can shuffle at their fingertips do not have dynamic arcs or characterization that supersedes Duke Nukem-esque one-liners. Still, one can’t deny that as a collective, the seven assassins run the gamut of personalities and abilities with little to no overlap between them. Their stark differences also warrant swapping each of them out so often that the player will become readily acquainted with all of Harman’s children, guaranteeing that the diversity in store will impress on the player equally as it did for me.

The eighth member of Killer7 is really Harman due to his elevated position as the gang’s chief chairman, but the final assassin I’ll be discussing, Garcian Smith, should be discussed separately because of the particular role assigned to him. One might be enticed to storm the field as this African-American man with a piercing gaze and dapper, white suit, but taking the reins as Garcian is not recommended. He expresses his one immortal quip of “don’t make me say it again, I’m a cleaner” enough times to penetrate even the thickest of players’ skulls. Besides, the player should already feel dissuaded from playing as Garcian as casually as the others because he’s the sole member who cannot upgrade his stats. Plus, his piddly little pistol inflicts middling damage and struggles to target enemies’ weak spots. Despite how unprepared he seems for combat, the player will likely spend an inordinate amount of time playing as Garcian anyway. When one of the other assassins is overwhelmed and smote on the field, the following cutscene where their head combusts does not signal a “game over” as one would anticipate. The onus is then on Garcian to find the general vicinity of the other assassin’s death, in which their chunky remains are somehow conveniently prepared in a doggy bag over a conspicuous chalk outline. After pressing a button in succession, the slain assassin is then free to control once again with their health fully restored. The process seems a tad cumbersome, but the player can still choose to let their former character lie dormant as a bag of rotting flesh and simply select another assassin as a substitute. Also, it should be noted that dying as Garcian WILL result in a genuine game over that reverts back to the last point saved instead of the closest of Harman’s rooms, so keep that element of danger in mind when choosing to pursue the route of resurrection. The method that Killer7 implements to stave off the typical penalty of reverting to a checkpoint upon death is unlike anything I’ve ever seen across any other video game, and the fact that it’s an optional venture with its own risky stakes adds a heaping load of depth to the process.

But how often will the player be forced to gamble with Garcian due to a hasty mishap? Well, that depends on how the player fares with the “Heaven Smiles” enemies scattered all across the field. The legion of deranged, toothy terrorists with intrinsic explosive properties is not the focal point of the narrative after the first chapter, but their lack of story relevance doesn’t deter them from infesting the foregrounds of every level afterwards in droves. Combating the Heaven Smiles is where the shooting element of Killer7 comes into play. Regardless of the various weaponry of the seven assassins, the constant objective when faced with one of these creepy, zombie-esque humanoid figures is relatively the same. The player must scan them to unveil their murky camouflage and fire enough ammunition into them before they amble close enough over to the assassin and embrace them with a lethal, self-destructing explosion. The offensive process sounds simple enough, but the caveat is that the player’s range of sight is greatly limited due to a slow spatial movement in the shooting mode and being unable to move the character’s body. A Heaven Smile could easily appear in a blind spot and inflict a smoldering blast to the face, or it could be difficult to locate one in time as well, due to the gun’s trajectory moving a little too patiently. Because the Heaven Smiles can be a chore to spot, the game at least indicates their presence with their mischievous-sounding laughter. If this chuckle then amplifies to their maniacal howl that would intimidate The Joker, it’s a triggering sound that indicates to the player that it’s too late to repel them, and they’ve got a stinging explosion with their name on it. There are also several different breeds of Heaven’s Smiles crowding every corner that come in all shapes and sizes, indicating that their weaknesses all vary. Some Heaven Smiles’ defenses can only be penetrated by a certain assassin’s arsenal, which incentivizes the player to take the risk of playing as Garcian. Because of their ghastliness, extreme violations of one’s personal space, and unpredictability of their numbers and forms, the Heaven Smiles always place the player on pins and needles like effective enemies should. The sinister snickers they emit, followed by the tense possibility of blowing the player to smithereens, almost verge Killer7 into survival horror territory.

Whenever a Heaven’s Smile is directly in the player’s sight, a quicker, more efficient way of dispatching them that is consistently exploitable is targeting a glowing, staticky yellow spot on their bodies. Whether it be on their neck, arms, or legs, finding a Heaven Smiles’ G-Spot and slamming it with a single, steamy bullet will cause the decayed ghoul to evaporate into a cloud of dust. Whether it be the first time executing a Heaven Smile this way or racking up hundreds of critical kills, the satisfaction of reducing one into ash with a single shot never wavers. Besides the gratification of acute shooting proficiency, it’s essential to hone in on a Heaven Smiles’ sensitive area because it coincides with Killer7’s blood mechanic. Killing a Heaven Smile with a barrage of haphazardly-shot bullets will warrant a modest amount of “thick blood” that is then converted into points of experience on the “B” TV channel in Harman’s Room. When the player hits a Heaven Smiles’ vulnerable point, not only does the amount of thick blood double, but the player earns the alternate “thin blood” that can be used to heal the assassins in the pause menu. If the player thinks they can take advantage of this process and farm the marrow of Heaven Smiles to fully upgrade every assassin, the developers have thought ahead of your gaming shrewdness and imposed a limit on the amount of blood one can deposit per level. Tis a shame to waste even a drop of precious blood, but the incentive of collecting the red matter to improve the varied attributes of the assassins needs to remain a factor to keep delivering the reward of progress. Plenty of other games implement a conversion system through gained currency or experience, but Killer7’s portrayal of it is juicy, both figuratively and literally.

I realized when discussing Killer7’s gameplay that I might have inadvertently labeled it as a first-person shooter. Sure, all shooting in Killer7 is conducted in a first-person perspective, but the entirety of the game is not confined to this intimate line of sight. Killer7 best fits the description of a rail shooter like Time Crisis, but that’s only because it’s the closest description it fits that has a defined, tested foundation. Killer7 is something of a “manual rail shooter.” The player is still confined to a single track of progression, but Killer7 grants the player control of the movement and trajectory of the character at all times instead of being accelerated on a single, constant path by holding down a button. Alternate directions will constantly be interjected on every path like speech bubbles in a comic strip, which will still direct the player down a narrow avenue. Questions may be expressed by skeptical gamers relating to if this constrictive method of progression was really necessary when all it does is make the player more vulnerable by hindering their range of movement. When are they going to learn that Killer7’s whole mantra is based on subverting the tropes that have sunk so deeply into gaming standards that they’ve become comfort zones that clench the gaming industry like quicksand? Debate the practicality of Killer7’s on-rail mechanic until the rooster crows: it doesn’t change the fact that the game is planting seeds on unpaved ground that no other game developers have ever dared to tread. To play devil’s advocate for a bit, the only level in Killer7 that conflicts with the restricted range of movement is the Texas level. The vast parameters of the arid, desert suburb allow Heaven Smiles to ambush the player from a wider assortment of angles, and it presents a sharp spike in difficulty that the game never reaches again anytime afterwards.

Warping the foundation of the rail shooter isn’t even the tour de force of Killer7’s gameplay. Beneath the series of tight pathways more serpentine than the NYC transit system, there’s a hearty integration of puzzles and gated progression impediments that draw comparisons to a dungeon from The Legend of Zelda. Or, since parallels have already been drawn to it, a building from a survival horror game, with spooks around every corner to contend with. Naturally, leading the player towards victory by navigating through a series of complex, roundabout routes showcases a delectably layered level design that consistently keeps every chapter invigorating. However, the one issue I have with the game’s puzzle-laden obstacles is that the game has a habit of giving away too much information. It’s acceptable to mark locations of each progression impediment on the map, but also supplying the image of the assassin or the elemental ring needed is far too obvious a hint. The path of acquiring the ring from the mouth of a decapitated head called Susie, whose subtitles consist of emoticons (aka DIY emojis for all non-millennials), proves to be more puzzling than using the rings themselves. There are exceptions that do require a heftier modicum of mental might, but they tend to be few and far between. I realize that with the unorthodox mechanics at play, the developers minded the intensity of brain throttling that the other aspects of the game were undoubtedly already inflicting. Still, giving the player an overt visual hint of what or who to use is downright patronizing.

Fortunately, it’s splendid that the puzzle aspect of Killer7 is not lost in the game’s attempts to hold their hands on the field. In the time spent maneuvering through the winding pathways of each level, the player might forget that the primary objective they’ve been methodically working towards is whacking a guy at the peak of the conspiracy at hand. Through the player’s meticulous scrounging about through each level, they should come across the “soul shells.” These coagulated clots of blood act as keys that access the entry point to a level’s boss, and the gate strongly resembles the vibrancy of a night club (because of course it does). Introducing a new Heaven Smile as a sampler before a boss is enough of a substantial brain teaser, but facing the primary foe afterwards will require a thorough, insightful inspection of their weaknesses. I won’t spoil how to defeat every boss in the game, but I will say that they’re a cakewalk once the player ascertains the method of execution. Still, deciphering the intended tactic with the correct character will prove to be fairly daunting beforehand. The one outlier that was more combat-oriented was Ayame Blackburn, a rival assassin whose viciousness is veiled by a kawaii, bug-eyed anime girl mask.

I suppose that after divulging every gameplay aspect of Killer7 that I should take a crack at analyzing its narrative. Well, fat chance. I’m not being insubordinate simply because Killer7’s story is extremely oblique, and crumbs of narrative context pelt the player every few seconds like the elderly feeding ducks pieces of bread in the park. No, it’s because Killer7 is an unfinished product from a narrative perspective. Suda 51 was forced to cut hours of material in order to release Killer7 at a digestible standard and considering how obtuse it is already, we can be thankful that there were sensible people on staff who objected to some of Suda 51’s wild ambitions. The full extent of Killer7’s story is instead available in book form as “Hand in Killer7,” which I’m sure clears up all confusion neatly. Still, I can only analyze the contents of the game because the book is another art piece altogether. I think I’ve still dug up something of substance in Killer7’s narrative, even with its missing context, but take my analysis with a grain of salt.

A theme I’ve pinpointed regarding Killer7’s story is the weight of murder from the killer’s point of view. The Killer7 syndicate has ended the lives of many at the pull of a trigger, far preceding the Heaven Smile or the main mission targets. In fact, the player becomes well acquainted with some of the syndicate’s former targets, for they follow them around every corner of each level. Yes, the NPCs who speak in riddles with a vocoder lodged in their trachea are all past victims of Killer7’s brutality. The game implies it by expositing Travis’ story, but the game affirms it when Ulmeyda reappears after his vanquishing with a less defined graphical outline, speaking in the same unintelligible voice. Whether the apparitions are benevolent like Iwazaru or vengeful like Curtis Blackburn, the fact of the matter is that every murder the syndicate commits is still externally ingrained on them like a tattoo. This subtle idea becomes all the more interesting when the finale of the story focuses on Garcian, revealing that he’s really a man named Emir Parkreiner who was trained by the Japanese government at a classified “elementary school” to extinguish their enemies. Years later, we learn in a shocking turn of events that Emir/Garcian killed every member of the Killer7 syndicate in a cold-blooded massacre at a hotel. As the game’s rule of murder evidently dictates, he absorbed the personalities of each assassin, making the tattoo metaphor made before all the more applicable. The revelation that the playable characters revolve around Garcian as the ghosts of his crimes is exceedingly interesting, even if there are holes in this reveal because of the game’s abstractions. Relating to the premise that the game has all but been abandoned by its finale, perhaps the underlying sentiment in the world peace proposition that starts the narrative conflict is that no matter how brotherly each nation may become, the stains of blood created by the sins of the past will never truly wash off. I don’t know, how far off base am I?

Pardon my french, but what the fuck did I just play? If Killer7 is to be assessed by its narrative, then Suda 51 is a pretentious egoist who proposes no solution to solving modern international conflicts, especially ones that are apparently between the USA and his homeland of Japan. However, if we narrow our focus on Killer7’s gameplay, then Suda 51 is a goddamn genius. There have been avant-garde narratives, but the label has never fit the mechanics of a video game until Killer7 combined the action-adventure design of a Zelda dungeon with the progression of a rail shooter and deep fried them into an unprecedented surf and turf of genre-bending. Layer the inconceivable fusion of fresh gameplay mechanics with stylistic and impressionistic flairs of postmodernism, and the game emits rays of ingenuity so severe that most gamers will get burned. Personally, I knew I’d at least respect the unbound flourishes of Killer7’s presentation, but the fact that the game was accessible enough to genuinely have a blast playing it is nothing short of a miracle. Game journalists described Killer7 as a totally unique experience back in 2005, but the same tagline having the same impact and relevance is a testament to Suda 51’s brilliance. Hell, I’m almost confident enough to call him a true visionary.

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