Monday, July 29, 2024

The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 7/10/2024)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction

Developer: Radical Entertainment

Publisher: Sierra Entertainment

Genre(s): Open-World

Platforms: PS2, GCN, Xbox

Release Date: August 23, 2005


The Incredible Hulk has always been a dubious superhero. Sure, his normal self, Bruce Banner, is an ethical character who strives to advance society with his ingenious scientific achievements. However, he’s far from the focal point of his respective Marvel IP. In fact, he makes the mild-mannered Clark Kent fascinating by comparison. We, the viewers, are only interested in the green, muscle-bound goliath he transforms into when he gets a bit miffed at the world, wreaking rage-fueled havoc that is harder to halt than an oncoming hurricane. Still, fans of comic book heroes can’t be so blind as not to question if The Hulk’s unmitigated actions are ones of virtue and justice. If the argument of superheroes causing more destruction than they prevent ever comes into contention, The Hulk is the only claim this point needs to levy the conversation in their favor. The Incredible Hulk is a beacon of heroic dissonance in the comic world, which makes him a perfect contender for a video game adaptation. In the realm of gaming, the line between the actions of a moral protagonist and their intentions is a bit blurrier due to the medium gamifying the events of the narrative. Gaming’s interactivity allows us to experience Marvel’s most turbulent “superhero” without the concern that arises while viewing him from a distant, impersonal perspective. Controlling this mutated madman in an interactive medium is as thrilling as one would naturally expect, and The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction knows exactly how to maximize this prospect to its fullest potential.

While the titular green giant is the central focus of Ultimate Destruction, its narrative is still centered around the trials and tribulations of the man behind the mask, or behind the mammoth-sized pituitary gland in this case. As enticing as it is to get a vicarious glimpse of how this freak of nature operates via the gaming medium, one can surely sympathize with poor Bruce and his involuntary transformations that paint him as public enemy #1. Because Bruce isn’t content with his unceremonious circumstances, he’s using the divided time in his standard status as a lucid, rational genius to devise a cure for his affliction. Or, at least something that will grant him more cognitive control over his tempestuous double persona that won’t result in a hazy, blank comedown like a bad hangover whenever he reverts back. With the aid of his psycho-analytical specialist companion, Leonard Samson, Bruce almost finishes a device that would’ve helped him achieve that desired mental stability. However, military commander Emil Blonsky puts the kibosh on Banner’s balancing act when he destroys the forested space he was using to construct the machine. Hulk and his friend take the remains of the device in the refuge of a remote church as they scour the surrounding urban and rural areas finding the missing pieces. Meanwhile, Blonsky begins to learn what happens when you fuck with The Hulk in ways that he never anticipated.

Other than hearing his voice during the mission preparations and seeing him during a few cutscenes, Ultimate Destruction relegates Bruce Banner to the background in favor of placing his angry alter ego front and center in the action. Solely playing as the superhero is a point of common sense that most if not all video game adaptations of these comic book characters abide by, but that’s not inherently what makes them so alluring. It's not as if Superman 64 bombed as badly as it did because the game was nothing but scenes of Clark Kent sitting idly in his Daily Planet cubicle mentally undressing Lois Lane out of sheer boredom. The key to immersion in any effective video game adaptation of a superhero property is honing the connection between the hero’s positive qualities and the player’s kinetic control over their particular traits that make them extraordinary. Figuring out what The Hulk offers as a distinctive superhero should’ve been an easy consensus in the Radical Entertainment studios, for he's the comic book hero arguably the most synonymous with brute, titanic strength to the extent where his might verges into the absurd. The Hulk can lift an SUV with one hand and spiral it like a football, tear a twenty-story building off the ground from underneath its bearings as if he were lifting the trunk of a car open, and bust through solid concrete as if the usually impenetrable material were made of tissue paper. He’s the epitome of the strength superpower associated with the common tropes of the superhero genre of fiction, even among so many others who possess this ability.

The Hulk’s distinctive explosive demeanor is also comparable to a bull running amok in a china shop, so his aerobic prowess and agility equally match his herculean physicality. Ultimate Destruction expertly taps into the ravaging potential of this big green beast by making it seem like no obstacle is too obstructive enough to hinder his unbounded rage. The Hulk can simply scale a skyscraper no matter the height by jogging vertically up its sides and leaping to meet an attacking military chopper at eye level to swat it out of the skies. The same adrenalized velocity that allows him to perform these amazing feats of athleticism also grants him a seemingly inexhaustible rate of endurance and endlessly sprinting around the field will leave a trail of wreckage like a tornado. “Smash points” are a currency in Ultimate Destruction earned by…well, smashing things like tanks, helicopters, and whatever else will attempt to resolutely subdue The Hulk. They can be used to purchase upgrades and unlock new abilities, turning an already formidable force of nature into an invincible A-bomb made flesh. Perusing through this scrolling laundry list of additional maneuvers will give The Hulk the potential to conduct illegal wrestling stunts on the cyborg enemies, swing light poles and tree trunks like golf clubs, and perform a combination of punches, uppercuts, and punt kicks in thunderous succession. A personal highlight from this move menu mostly used purely for merriment is riding around the field in a vehicle that The Hulk has crushed and fashioned like a skateboard, even though I question how the apparatus is accelerating. Is The Hulk peddling it with his feet like a car from The Flintstones? Anyways, regardless if The Hulk needs the added physical acuity or if the move is strictly for pleasure, every augmentation to The Hulk’s innate superhuman skill set is both thrillingly entertaining and greatly cathartic.

What better way to foster the extensive dexterity of The Hulk than crafting his game in the open-world genre? Game developers had recently discovered with the (loose) video game adaptation of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 that the non-linear, playground schematics associated with the genre’s core design philosophy worked wonders with letting a superhero flourish in an interactive medium. The player is given free rein to eagerly test the extent of each hero’s distinctive abilities like they’ve always pretended to do in the confined reality of their living spaces. Ultimate Destruction’s maps facilitate the same exciting prospect as Treyarch did for Marvel’s most popular superhero, but you’ll notice how the plural form I used alludes to how the game slightly differentiates in its direction. Between the tranquil, outlying hub of the church somehow situated on a quaint little islet are two fully-fledged areas that deviate dramatically in setting. In fact, the bustling, nightscape of the “city” and the unoccupied, arid canyon of the “badlands” presents such a dramatic and clear-cut contrast that I’d use them as examples in teaching grade school students the difference between urban and rural areas. Also, I’d like to point out that neither of these areas has distinct names attached, as they are referred to by their general topographical makeup. The city is congested with vehicles and offers wall-to-wall man-made architecture, and The Hulk can grab a large, inflatable corporate mascot in the shape of a silly-looking blue gorilla wearing swim trunks and use it as a parachute to glide from rooftop to rooftop. The badlands are conversely an organic foreground formed from years of erosion and tectonic activity, with a heavily guarded military base on one side of the canyon with a podunk, desert town alongside an array of oil refineries on the other. Fun fact: the cows that surround the marginally populated part of the badlands do not die regardless of how vigorously The Hulk throws them or uses them as a punching bag. While I can’t deny how generic both areas are, offering two open playgrounds with completely different terrains ensures that if the player grows bored of thrashing throughout one of them, jumping to the other from the church should reinvigorate them once again.

The player ideally shouldn’t tire of either area because they’ll consistently have a story mission to complete, hopping from the strikingly different settings depending on where the plot is being furthered. It’s only a matter of time before the malevolent branch of Banner’s infected cognition seduces him further to the darkness of mindless, disastrous destruction, a concept of mental deterioration that he personifies as “devil hulk.” Time is of the essence in gathering the remaining components needed for Bruce to literally face his demons, so many of the missions involve retrieving a piece of industrial equipment and carrying it back to the church through the initial launch point. As abundant as this type of mission is due to its relevance to Ultimate Destruction’s plot, they are not a favorable recurring task. The Hulk cannot attack the onslaught of enemies that chase him down like a swarm of pissed-off hornets when one of the machine’s parts is strapped under his right arm, so his vulnerability increases the likelihood of him collapsing. A logical solution would be to place the piece in a spot when the opposition becomes too overwhelming, but the CPU AI is astutely aware that the part is vital to successfully completing the mission and will attack it instead. The more combat-oriented missions should be vastly more pleasurable, but they expose the fact that Ultimate Destruction is tough as nails. Because The Hulk seems like the most insurmountable opponent on the planet, Ross and Blonsky’s military forces fire at will as if they are blindly expending all of their ammunition to quash the snarling titan. Their overly aggressive efforts seem to be effective, however, as The Hulk’s life force will deplete at an exceeding rate if he humors clapping back at his bushwhackers. Ultimate Destruction offers a few implementations that stave off The Hulk’s demise if the player actively engages with them in dire circumstances. For one, Hulk’s health bar features insurance whenever he collects more health than his initial gauge would allow, and the energy from this extra safeguard can be channeled into a screen-clearing sonic boom attack that impacts all enemies in the vicinity. On the other end of the spectrum, an infinitesimal sliver of Hulk’s health appears whenever his health bar has been exhausted by enemy fire, giving the player some opportunity to increase their health while The Hulk is still hanging on by a thread. When the player gets into the habit of smashing up shit to revitalize The Hulk as Jason Statham did in Crank, the combat-oriented missions become more manageable. However, the player will have to say a prayer to succeed in any mission involving defending a structure from the military. The event when The Hulk must perform this task for three-and-a-half minutes is the hardest mission in the game, and it's only the third one.

While the game’s missions were either vexing or failed to leave a lasting impression, I was far more impressed by the boss battles that Ultimate Destruction displayed. After completing a number of missions, a branching jump position will appear at the church hub that will transport The Hulk to the boss arena. Whether it be their layered health bars, gargantuan mass, or devastating damage output, every single boss that serves as the game’s pinnacle progress points are all immensely enervating foes. The cybernetic Hulkbuster Destroyer can only be damaged by hurling boulders at its dome, and this method of dispatching Ross’ classified, government-grade technology is escalated when he mans the Hulkbuster Titan and only the swinging of tanks in its direction is the only means of denting this colossus. Blonsky’s bodyguard and fellow gamma ray victim Mercy attempts to divert from the savagery of brute force with her teleportation-like agility, and Banner’s psychological descent into his own cognition where he fights the nightmare fuel that is “Devil Hulk” has the triumphant feeling of whenever an Elm Street protagonist prepares to fight Freddy Krueger by the end. The recurring boss that appears thrice throughout the game is The Abomination, aka Emil Blonsky’s mutant form that is Hulk-like only scalier and more intelligible. The main antagonist doesn’t really provide a challenge until he decides to bust open the dam as the climactic final act of the game, which will cast a flood of biblical proportions over the unnamed city if left unchecked by his mortal nemesis. I suppose The Abomination, or at least his unchanged human form, compensates for his fairly lackluster boss encounters by how prevalent he is throughout the entire story to the point where it seems to instead revolve around his journey into madness. More context to his grudge against Banner and all of his mutant ilk even leads him to be a sympathetic antagonist after all. However, the smack talk he dishes out during his fights is so lame that I want to beat him into submission regardless.

For being the unstable wildcard in the Avengers roster, The Incredible Hulk towers far above the higher esteem of all his peers at Marvel with this exemplary superhero video game alone. Ultimate Destruction’s handling of a few open-world aspects is admittedly middling, as its environments exist only for the purpose of giving The Hulk somewhere to run through and cause chaos and its missions are in one ear and out the other, provided the player is capable enough to complete them in the first place. Despite these discrepancies, it's rare to see a video game so enriched with pure, ID-driven destruction that the player can commit much less than in a licensed superhero game. Freely decimating all that stands before The Hulk is so satisfying that one has to experience it to really understand why it pumps my blood to the extent that it does. “Ultimate Destruction” couldn’t have been a more apt subtitle. It’s clobberin' time, bitches, and if The Thing wants to reclaim his catchphrase from his Marvel colleague, then he and his rubber-wearing quartet should make a Marvel game of this marvelous calibur. I doubt they ever will, though.

Monday, July 22, 2024

Crackdown Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 7/3/2024)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


Crackdown

Developer: Realtime Worlds

Publisher: Microsoft

Genre(s): Open-World, Third-Person Shooter

Platforms: Xbox 360

Release Date: February 20, 2007


As the modern open-world genre the Grand Theft Auto series pioneered evolved and still proved to have retained the lightning in a bottle that made GTA III so tantalizing, other developers would’ve been foolish not to capitalize on the trend that bought everyone at Rockstar their own beach house in the Hamptons. Naturally, quite a few derivative imitators splintered out of the woodwork that did nothing with GTA’s formula. They hoped that gamers either wouldn’t notice or mind that they were being served the same meal again and that they undermined their intellectual capabilities, but this is to be expected of the industry. Conversely, there was a crop of open-world titles I’d describe as “GTA alternatives.” Their gameplay identity was woven from GTA’s open-world fabric but did not adopt the full extent of the anarchic bloodshed and mayhem associated with the GTA series. An example of this rerendering of GTA’s scope and essence is Crackdown, an open-world title developed by RealTime Worlds and published by Microsoft as an exclusive for the then-budding Xbox 360 console. Crackdown’s status as a GTA substitute was especially applicable for my younger brother, who used to marvel at this game’s open-world design and its freeform applications. Once my parents rescinded their ban on playing GTA games once he reached a certain age, he purchased GTA San Andreas to celebrate the occasion, and his life was forever changed. Not once afterward did he humor returning to Crackdown to rekindle the joy the game had previously elicited. One could argue that his abandonment of Crackdown in favor of all things GTA-related rests entirely on the fact that the series’ unmitigated chaos wrapped in a package of edgy provocation is an unimpeachable facet that shouldn’t be removed from any open-world game with third-person shooter elements, lest the appeal is totally lost. However, I’d claim that Crackdown’s lack of lasting appeal is due to it fumbling plenty of other open-world aspects.

I should probably issue a disclaimer stating that while Crackdown isn’t as morally inflammatory as its inspiration, it is equally as violent. What Crackdown does to dial down the likelihood of middle-aged women stampeding towards their offices with pitchforks and torches in hand is rearranging the contextual scope of the bloodshed. Instead of playing as a hardened criminal lowlife, Crackdown puts the player into the role of an agent of justice trained to grind the scum from GTA into tomato paste. Considering all of the unbridled chaos infesting the streets of the fictional Pacific City to the point of total anarchy, Crackdown’s setting desperately needs a crime-fighting mortar and pestle. Specifically, a superhuman officer of the law who can handle the unabated bulk of criminal activity that runs as rampantly throughout Pacific City as the bubonic plague. Using the public's precious tax dollars, the police force agency has financed a dozen roided-out supersoldiers to painstakingly remove the three pervasive criminal organizations that have a corrupt stranglehold on the city. In this case, the player will select only one of many skins of the same beefcake variant from the main menu before starting the game. Maybe spraying dirtbags with magazines upon magazines of bullets will still amass outcries of ethical indecency, but I proclaim that this premise negates any feelings of offense or criticisms of its content from the same demographic that spurned GTA. I’ve witnessed too many moms on Facebook lionizing our boys in blue for performing dauntless acts of heroism in the name of keeping the peace. Forbidding their child to enact the same feats, albeit in the exaggerated realm of gaming, is textbook hypocrisy.

The Liberty City setting of GTA III was designed as a vague, general American city that coincidentally shared many iconographic and cultural parallels with New York City. The connections between a real American city and Crackdown’s Pacific City, on the other hand, is completely nebulous. All the geographical information we can speculate about this fictional metropolitan area is that it resides along the country’s Pacific coastline, likely sandwiched somewhere between the notable cities of southern California. One commonality that Pacific City shares with the Big Apple which GTA III built its architectural template is that its full perimeter consists of three island boroughs. The Den, The Corridor, and La Mugre (which translates to “The Dirt”) all link to one another through a series of bridges that build unity between their watery divides, with the towering, Tony Stark agency institution located on the center island as a conveniently placed hub for the player. From the agency’s garage-like corridors, the agent will drive their vehicle through an underground tunnel that soon releases out of the heart of the agency to the aortas clogged with criminal activity. As splitting the city into three separate districts would dictate, each borough of this chaotic hellhole is distinct from one another. La Mugre is the festive vacation district with a beachfront and hillside lighthouse, The Den is the industrial district that all of the factory and steel workers would ideally refer to as “the daily grind”, and The Corridor is the economically ritzy district that looks rather pretentious considering no one of elite stature would dare hang their hats here. Still, regardless of their individualistic constructs, every borough of Pacific City shares a commonality of dullness. Every environment in an open-world game is comparable to a sandbox, but Crackdown’s savage playground delves into some literal aspects of that comparison. The setting is nothing but a series of equipment with monkey bars and slides, or at least metaphorically speaking. Everything in the foreground, especially the buildings, exists solely as set pieces used to congest the space and give the illusion of a plausible urban area. However, each architectural construct found across the Pacific City zip code is as empty and hollow as a horseshoe crab shell that people keep as souvenirs. We’re intended to believe that this was once a thriving metropolis that crumbled when the illegal activity of the crime syndicates became too overwhelming to stabilize. Why then does every bit of architecture suggest that the gangs have erected all of these buildings themselves? They all seem built for the purpose of defensively hunkering down and waiting for the opposition to arrive, which is the perfect place for the goons of a criminal organization to lay low and bide their time. Parking garages are one thing, but there is no logic in the utter vacancy of a nightclub, car dealership, or the offshore, seaside mansion that rivals the extravagance of Scarface’s Miami penthouse. Vice City pinpointed exactly how that particular setting should have been rendered effectively one generation prior, which is another piece of evidence to my claim that Crackdown’s settings have no excuse for being this soulless.

To play devil’s advocate for a bit, I suppose that interior setpieces are a superfluous aspect of Crackdown considering that The Agent will be on call to dispose of the gangs surrounding the perimeter around the clock without any downtime. One gang faction entirely rules the roost per designated island borough. Los Muertos obviously calls the island with the Spanish name home, The Volk commands The Den with an iron fist, and the Shai-Gen Corporation is dominant enough to have captured the supposedly prestigious Corridor district for themselves. Each gang is also guilty of conducting their own unique brands of heinous, illegal deeds. Los Muertos provokes the DEA with their drug smuggling racket, The Volk’s anti-American terrorism sounds like a job for the DHS, and I’m sure the FBI would like a word with members of Shai-Gen after intercepting traces of their human trafficking ring and the inhumane experiments they perform on their victims. Each gang is also nationally distinctive as well, with Los Muertos stemming from Central America and The Volk hailing from Mother Russia. Shai-Gen is instead an amalgam of Americans with diverse ethnicities, and the members of this group remind me of 4Chan's /pol/ forum banding together and arming themselves like a militia. The Agent mows down minorities, commies, and internet trolls? This will practically make every middle-aged parent want to adopt The Agent as a son, despite the fact that he’d cave in the floor attempting to get into bed at night. Despite the many peculiarities the narrative displays, it’s a shame that the identities of each gang get boiled down to doll-sized NPCs shooting at the player while yelling generic threats at them in its gameplay.

The Agent will be bombarded by a ceaseless number of each gang’s goons while simply walking down the city streets, but erasing these fools from the criminal equation is akin to paying off an outstanding loan with pennies. In order to really slacken the damaging influence of each gang on their territory, The Agent must seek out their executive enforcers and promptly eradicate them. Upon reaching certain locations on the map through exploration, a video dossier will appear with the name and job description of one of the gang’s seven chairmen, and each of them is guarded by an army of subordinates in one of Pacific City’s abandoned structures. The trajectory the player intends to go through is taking down the six major constituents before tracking down the gang’s kingpin, and assassinating the head honcho will cause the gang’s last trickle of members to challenge The Agent to one final duel before their dominion fizzles out completely and the district can begin anew. One subtle aspect of the game’s open-world non-linearity is that the six essential figures leading up to the kingpin can be tackled in any order the player pleases, and their CEO can even be taken out of the equation before the player vanquishes all or any of his lieutenants. Hell, the player can even thwart the expected trajectory of grappling Los Muertos, The Volk, and Shai-Gen if they so please. I enjoy fracturing this course because it defies Charles Goodwin, the agency director and narrator of the game who gives me a migraine headache with his constant input. He’s Navi if the notorious fairy had a voice for FM radio, and if Navi was a condescending asshole who undermined the player’s confidence by informing them of the low odds they have at succeeding in dispatching a valuable gang member. Eat a dick, Chuck. Never tell me the odds!

Unfortunately, despite how it burns up my guts, it’s still wise for the player (especially new ones) to adhere to Goodwin’s shaky advice. Because bullets rain down like a deluge from all angles and arrays of explosives make each corner of Crackdown a volatile minefield, the player is likely to exhaust their health quickly or gradually due to extended periods of vulnerability. Even the “tough” difficulty, the mildest of the selections, will still see the extremes of Pacific City’s possible harm coming at the player without mercy. In order to adapt to this incredibly hazardous environment, the player will have to acclimate and evolve to the conditions, and this is a process that Crackdown overtly intertwines into its gameplay. Crackdown takes a note of inspiration from San Andreas’s RPG mechanics and applies them to five divergent attributes that are all perceived as vital to the act of fighting crime. Once the player guns down a gang member, blows them to smithereens with a grenade or rocket launcher, or shatters every bone in their body with a swift melee kick up close, tiny orbs whose colors coincide with a specific attribute will gush out of the enemy and fill their meters located on the left side of the screen. Crackdown is the only game I know in which running (specific) people over rewards the player and signifies the growth of one’s driving skill, but I digress. Be forewarned that achieved increments of one’s stats will be revoked if the player focuses their aggression on civilians or their fellow peacekeepers, but the overhead icons that indicate which NPCs are gang members will ensure that this penalty will likely be caused by an accident. The attribute entirely removed from rewarding the player with their militancy towards the gangs is agility, which is instead increased when they hop from building to building collecting the green orbs commonly located on the roofs. There are a total of 500 of these glaring collectibles scattered across all three islands, so I suggest practicing some squats and calf raises to make sure The Agent always lands on his feet. Actually, the “practicing” I’m alluding to is applicable for every stat, but the phrase I’d rather use that exposes the negative connotations behind it is my favorite of gaming’s extensive vernacular: grinding. The Agent’s success with each mob boss infiltration is predicated on how much time the player is willing to dedicate to hone their stats by waiting for gang members to antagonize them on the streets or by leaping from the city’s structures like a giant, cybernetic frog. The player can trade the insufficient weaponry that the agency supplies for the gang’s military-grade, black-market firearms, and explosives. However, maximizing The Agent’s stats is the only sufficient way to ensure victory against the squadron of henchmen stacked in the hundreds. San Andreas wisely placed its increasable stats to attributes unrelated to immediate progress, but Crackdown decided that the open-world genre was bereft of one of gaming’s most irritating and taxing contingencies.

[spoiler] When the player has shot, kicked, jumped, drove, and blasted off enough to the point where the boss feels they’ve earned the opportunity to take down Shai-Gen’s “Enigmatic Wang,” who resides in a skyscraper as “enigmatic” as the fucking Space Needle, all gangs will have raised a white flag and vamoosed out of Pacific City. In the state of relieving peace now due to the player’s efforts, Mr. Goodwin feels emboldened enough to reveal the sinister context behind the hidden consequences. Apparently, old Chuckles was the one facilitating the strength behind all three gang factions, and swiftly wiping them off the map was a premeditated plan for the public to give their allegiance to the agency as their protector, turning Pacific City upside down as an oppressive police state. Ah, here’s that satirical edge that keeps me from commenting further that The Agent is who old rednecks with the “blue lives matter” stickers think The Punisher is. Yet, I can’t quite swallow this twist. There is no foreshadowing beforehand, so the twist feels like a last-minute strike of substance. It simply feels too shoehorned to warrant the desired shock value.

The inability to go nuts and massacre all who live and breathe is not why Crackdown fails to impact the open-world genre like Grand Theft Auto did. Microsoft’s third-person police shooter still exudes that gratifying adrenaline even if the morals are more skewed to a black-and-white moral compass. However, the game is deprived of any narrative substance and its map is a vacuous lot where echoes can be heard for miles. Let us also not forget that Crackdown expects me to humor waging away on grinding to maximize proficiency, and I refuse to submit to this. By drawing GTA’s blood to another body, Crackdown still doesn’t resemble a fully fluid lifeform because its bones are too brittle to act with the same expressiveness. Crackdown just feels rigidly subdued in what is supposed to be a spirited and animated genre of game, which is why it only achieves an underwhelmed, moderately adequate result.

Friday, July 19, 2024

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 6/29/2024)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Developer: Bandai Namco, Sora

Publisher: Nintendo

Genre(s): Fighting

Platforms: Switch

Release Date: December 7, 2018




Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a subtle reminder of Mr. Masahiro Sakurai’s mortality. Between the endearing birth of the first Super Smash Bros. game on the N64 to the metaphorically roaring, arena-filling crowds of fans, the crossover franchise has garnered since then, two decades have passed over the course of Sakurai’s life. For twenty years, the creative director and chief organizer of Nintendo’s annual celebration of a new console (in my eyes) has been straining himself to the point of total exhaustion. The rush of Melee’s release is the only documented case of Sakurai suffering from a potential mental breakdown. Still, one can imagine that once the franchise he spurred rocketed off to the skies of Nintendo’s golden gates of high repute, the ACE inhibitors he’s been taking for his high blood pressure prescribed to him during Melee’s development still needed to be administered daily. In the efforts to continue making Super Smash Bros. the unique and well-rounded experience that we fans expect, the series has throttled the poor man’s psychological well-being and probably ate up the vital, irreversible time he could’ve been spending with his family and friends. What I’m trying to illustrate here is that Sakurai is tired. He isn’t the hopeful spring chicken that he once was when the prospect of Nintendo’s eclectic cast of notable characters beating the everloving tar out of one another was but a promising spark of ingenuity he devised so long ago. I’d be willing to bet that the Switch will not be Nintendo’s swang song system to retire its unparalleled tenure in the console wars. Sadly, the “ultimate” descriptor in the handheld hybrid’s delegated Smash title probably connotes that we’ll be saying sayonara to Sakurai’s collective of Nintendo’s finest. However, it isn’t time to break out the handkerchiefs just yet. “Ultimate” also carries implications that this game is the franchise’s first-rate outing: the dominating Smash title that renders all of its predecessors obsolete and is substantial enough to satiate the fans for the remainder of their days. From the exorbitant amount of content Smash Ultimate provides, this was clearly the objective. However, I still find a few discrepancies in referring to this game as the pinnacle of the Smash Bros. series.

One initial panoptic aspect of Smash Ultimate was the promise that every single character ever featured as a fighter across the previous four games was going to be included, and there was no trace of hyperbolic bullshit in this marketing ploy. EVERYONE is here, from Nintendo’s five-star generals to their respective lieutenants, to the equally esteemed representatives from foreign lands Sakurai has borrowed as a result of his now impeccable skills as a Nintendo ambassador. All third-party restrictions bound by copyright law have been torn to shreds, and all characters who faced debilitating complications that deterred their return to the series (Ice Climbers) have successfully passed through the security clearance thanks to Ultimate’s exclusivity to the Switch console. As they say, if you’re near the end of your days, it’s best to “go out with a bang,” and hosting a party where every conceivable friend and chummy acquaintance positively confirmed and reciprocated the invitation is an astounding prospect that will make all of those who did not receive such an honor envious. In fact, one prevalent theme in Ultimate is the cumulative progression of the series in terms of its roster, showcasing how Smash. Bros has become such a tremendous representative in Nintendo’s catalog of IPs that it can now introspectively curate its own history alongside its parent company’s on the whole. The starting lineup available to the player in Ultimate is the humble selection of Nintendo’s heaviest of heavyweights initially granted to the player when booting up the first Super Smash Bros. on the N64, and the character unlocks are ordered sequentially by when they debuted as a fighter in the series. While tailoring the game’s progress in this fashion makes me somewhat sentimental, I still have to decree that Ultimate’s strive for character comprehensiveness is an overall detriment. Naturally, promising the inclusion of every past character means that the clone characters, mostly from Melee, bans have been rescinded and are polluting the roster with their redundancies once again. Pichu, a character that should ideally embarrass Nintendo to revisit, still harbors that damnable habit where he hurts himself upon using what little lightning he can conjure up from his underdeveloped body. It’s still as pitiful as it was three entries ago. Adult Link, Toon Link, and Young Link all sharing the screen simultaneously is a paradoxical clusterfuck, even though I’m fully aware that all of them are technically different characters as written in the Zelda lorebooks. I complained about his return to Smash 4 and I’ll extend the quibbles to his continual presence here, but the fact that one of the two Marios went to med school is superfluous when they are both combatants in a fucking fighting game. I’d pick on Smash 4 for introducing Lucina, aka Marth who menstruates, but the newer clones are better organized with a new feature known as an “echo fighter.” They are clone characters with discerning characteristics in their respective franchises, distinct enough to be included as a fighter, yet not distinguished enough to warrant an individual slot in the roster. Even if they are selected as what is essentially a skin, every clone character is a nuisance and I want them out of my house.

What I’d rather have instead of clone characters taking up valuable oxygen is allowing some breathing room for a crop of fresh faces, which is the aspect of every subsequent Super Smash Bros. title that makes us gamers all giddy like schoolgirls and wet our pants in pure anticipation. Because Ultimate insists on acting as an encompassing cavalcade of everything the previous titles featured, only six original characters were added to prevent the roster from combusting like an oxidized beer keg. While I’m disappointed at the paltry amount on hand, at least they’re all solid choices. I’m certain that more than half of Ultimate’s development was dedicated to arguing over whether or not Ridley would be a practical inclusion, and a fraction of that time was spent scaling the purple space dragon’s immensity down after surrendering to everyone’s vocal wishes to see him in the roster. Another conniving creature introduced as a Nintendo villain representative here is the scaly, bloodshot renaissance (alligator)man King K. Rool, even though he didn’t make so much as a cameo in the resurrected Donkey Kong Country titles from Retro Studios. Animal Crossing could’ve added their rapacious real estate tycoon raccoon Tom Nook to the stacked lineup of Nintendo villains that Ultimate introduces but evidently decided that his peppy, overachieving secretary Isabelle had a brighter overall appeal. Even when Ultimate can only offer a crumb of new character content, Pokemon still prevails in augmenting the roster with one of their now hundreds of beasts to choose from. Similarly to Greninja, Sakurai sticks with the trend of adding a starter pokemon from the newest of Pokemon iterations, and it’s the WWE Smackdown fire tiger Incineroar, who I can’t believe doesn’t have any trace of a fighting type in his genetic code. Considering that the era that directly predates Ultimate’s release is the lackluster Wii U period where it seemed as if Nintendo were actually going to bow out of the console market, there aren’t too many exemplary new franchises worthy of fitting into the fleeting spaces of availability. Their tame, yet charming tackling of the third-person arena shooter genre with Splatoon is the only new Nintendo IP of note that the Wii U produced, so the Inkling avatar from that particular game is the sole representative of a franchise that didn’t exist yet when the previous Smash Bros. game was released. As far as exercising Sakurai’s reach into the pockets of outside developers for potential fighters goes, the one he grabbed this time made me sequel with delight. Classic Konami vampire hunter Simon Belmont from the NES Castlevania shared the same topping placement on my wishlist as Mega Man did in the last Smash Bros. game, and also featuring his blue-garbed descendant Richter Belmont as an echo fighter is also a nice additional touch to expand the occupancy of the series. Speaking of which, this new method of padding the roster ekes out a few more familiar faces who share a square with a pre-existing character. Samus’s phazon doppelganger Dark Samus adds yet another villain from the Metroid series, Princess Daisy extends her role from Peach’s tennis partner to standing by her side in the art of fisticuffs, and those Fire Emblem fans who (glibly) advocated for Chrom after he was excluded from Smash 4 can now be slightly satisfied they’ve now squeezed him in as essentially a dryer version of Roy. How Dark Pit is still greedily bunking in his own square while the iconic secondary Street Fighter character Ken Masters is perceived as “spicy Ryu” here is beyond me.

I delayed my disappointment for Ultimate’s meagerly enhanced final roster, for I had the foresight to know that an influx of new characters would be gradually introduced via DLC content. Another connotation to this title’s “ultimate” moniker is the wild and boundary-breaking selection of pulls that Sakurai has obtained to specialize Smash’s final outing, which is why the slew of downloadable characters are overall odd and ostentatious. Firstly, I will politely ask for Nintendo to cease snooping on my private life through the technology that I purchase, for announcing Joker from Persona 5 at the exact time that I became infatuated with that game is too eerie of a coincidence and now I’m addled with paranoia. Even though oversaturation has ruined its allure, incorporating the gender-specific Steve and Alex avatars from Minecraft into the mix still makes for quite an enthralling crossover, an indication that Sakurai can penetrate the indie circle. What I stated pertaining to select characters from Smash 4’s DLC choices having tremendously powerful movesets also applies to Cloud Strife’s white-haired nemesis Sephiroth and Dragon Quest’s generational avatar “Hero,” and the latter’s special move possesses magic that has the potential to KO an opponent with only a little more than zero percent damage. Terry Bogard and Kazuya are fetching tributes to fellow fighting games that most likely influenced Smash Bros., and Sora from Kingdom Hearts is likely a dream come true to finalize the roster if he suits your fancy. As for my fantasy the DLC fulfills, heaving Banjo and Kazooie back into Nintendo’s grasp (where they belong) relieves the series biggest “what if” scenario. I can finally sleep a little more peacefully at night knowing the bear and bird duo finally got their chance to pelt Mario with blue eggs. As for Nintendo’s own that needed a second wind of consideration, fans approached upcoming Fire Emblem: Three Houses protagonist Byleth and Min Min from the out-of-the-womb ARMS with nothing but contempt and cynicism. Everyone who discounted these two as cheap advertisements fails to realize that Super Smash Bros. is a glorified marketing scheme to sell players their IPs using the characters and stages as samplers. Why do you think Roy was featured in Melee? There was no booing and hissing at Pyra and Mythra’s release, for the Xenoblade ladies have a joint relationship unseen since Zelda and Sheik were torn asunder. I can dispute whether or not each of these characters is worthy of the Smash Bros. first-class mile-high club before the plane is permanently not allowing any more passengers to board. Still, at least every character I’ve mentioned constitutes one as opposed to the Piranha Plant stage hazard that launched the DLC cycle. There’s a conspiracy behind that one’s inclusion, for sure.

If you’ve assumed that Ultimate’s stages have been given the extensive retrospective treatment as the characters, you’re correct. Not every stage across the franchise makes its return in high definition. Instead, Ultimate offers a plethora of handpicked “greatest hits.” Even though the developers have chosen to show a bit of restraint, the stage selection is still bloated enough that the total number of new areas to duke it out comes to a resounding four. One commonality between them I’ve now noticed is that they’re all inherently propped up in precariously high places: Mayor Pauline’s New Donk City skyscraper, the Great Plateau Tower where the landscape of Hyrule from Breath of the Wild can be awed at, and the Moray Tower construction sight where the inkling kids from Splatoon douse each other with paint. Should I at least be thankful from a fan’s perspective that Dracula’s throne room caps off this paltry pair of uninitiated settings? Again, this issue was corrected with the injection of DLC content. A few highlights from the purchasable selection include the overhead backdrop map of Mementos in all of its lurid, black and red glory, the top of Spiral Mountain just before the bridge leading to Gruntilda’s lair, and a generic Minecraft world set that a twelve-year-old could’ve created in less than an hour. We can applaud the developers for managing to make the Hollow Bastion from Kingdom Hearts so captivating without using any of the series’ shared intellectual makeup with a certain evil corporation that shall remain nameless. That’s one copyright that will stay guarded like the gates of Hell.

This trend continues with Smash’s items as most of them are an eclectic mix of everything the series has ever offered for “casual” players who like to spruce up their bouts with explosions and other ancillary effects. A few of my favorites that I allow into the gameplay when I’m not trying to impress someone are the reaper’s scythe from Castlevania, a black hole with a swirling vortex of energy, and the quirky mushroom enemy from Earthbound whose poison properties confused the player in unwillingly invert their controls. The fake smash ball will teach the player a lesson for integrating this overpowered super move item into the fray, exploding in their stupid faces for trying to crack it open. One peculiar aspect about the new pokemon that pops out of their balls is that the developers have reverted back to the old days of the franchise. Abra will annoy the fighters by teleporting them slightly off course, an Eevee will adorably tackle a foe (as if they’ve forgotten it's the Pokemon equivalent of a mood ring), and Ditto actually makes an appearance and copies the fighter’s physical form as it was rumored to do way back in Melee. The similar assist trophy item is also amusing and curious, but the ones featured here have the underlying connotation that they’ve been rejected as prime-time fighters and have to settle for a subsidiary role. Knuckles the Echidna has been denied, they passed on Zero from Mega Man(X), and poor Waluigi is still making minimum wage with his ground stomp and tennis racket combo despite how vociferously the public has been clamoring for him to share equal billing with Wario. Relegating Shovel Knight to a lowly item is what angers me the most, for I desperately wanted to pogo jump on Mario’s thick skull as this charming indie gent.

While the selection of new items that Ultimate provides is as limited as the content in the other categories, this title does alter the base combat to a distinctive degree. I’m not certain if I’ve ever discussed this topic in any of my previous Smash Bros. reviews, but Nintendo hates the marvelous mistake that was Melee. They can’t stand that the most fervent of fans still opt to play this supposedly “obsolete” and “primitively unsophisticated” entry, primarily because the revenue funnel that was once connected to Nintendo’s bank vault was severed when the company killed the Gamecube. To really hone in on Ultimate’s “ultimate” imperative, this title is the first time since Melee that the developers have humored emulating that game’s fractured combat flow that players exploit to a masterful craft-a ruse to make Melee players get with the times and start donating to make Nintendo reach their desired profit margin once more. The result of their efforts with Ultimate’s gameplay is that while it did not convert the Melee heathens to the side of commerce, the diehard fans of the franchise’s second title still seem to convey a healthy sense of respect towards Ultimate’s fighting gameplay. The flow and energy of the combat are frenetic with many opportunities to execute several different moves in a matter of milliseconds, including the advanced ones discovered by professionals while playing Melee. The air dodge maneuver can be used to recover to the stage again, and there is a secondary, lighter shield available to every character. Honestly, I’d feel confident declaring Ultimate’s combat as the best of the series if not for one specific aspect. The quickness of Ultimate’s combat is sullied by dramatics. Every effective hit, especially when the opponent’s damage is in a higher percentage, slows the rate of combat like a fight scene in an anime. A freeze frame flash of electric red and black will accompany a likely finishing blow in a stock match when the player has exhausted all of their lives. This ends the match with style, but not with an ounce of grace. Ultimate’s odd cinematic flair it adds to the combat is a real pace breaker, and it’s a shame due to how it nearly touches the same soaring skill ceiling that Melee accidentally established.

Sadly, Ultimate does not offer the same extensive level of additional features to the menu as one would expect from the other Smash Bros. attributes. Many of the fighting variations return from previous titles such as training mode, home-run contest, a stage-building tool, and the ability to make Mii fighters in the specific brawler, shooter, and swordsman trio. Classic mode attempts to personalize the trajectory for each character by constructing a specific route that is somewhat logical, but still needs some suspension of disbelief to be immersive. The journey for some characters will lead to the series resurrecting a feature that skipped over Smash 4 (not counting stage bosses) from Brawl: boss battles. Instead of grappling with Master Hand and his mentally unstable twin to the left, characters like Mario, Link, Kirby, Yoshi, and Simon Belmont will face their respective mortal arch-villains from their mainline series. Giga Bowser looks just as ghastly with an HD upgrade, Marx is the most difficult boss to predict with his teleportation abilities, and the duel against Ganon emulates the fiery final fight from Ocarina of Time splendidly. The battle against Dracula is practically a cut-and-pasted 3D rendering from the first Castlevania game. Why is Yoshi paired with the Rathalos from Monster Hunter, and why is this fire-breathing Gargantua here if there are no fighter representatives from his series in the roster? Last time I checked, dragons and dinosaurs are not cousins, unless Nintendo is trying to suggest that they’re both beasts from the fantasy realm like a bunch of thick-headed creationists. Oh, and the steel purple transformer Galleom reappears from the Subspace Emissary to stomp fighters into the dirt once again. Some may argue that battling a juggernaut enemy with a large health bar distracts from the series’ focal fighting style, but I quite liked the boss battles from Brawl because they expanded the parameters of how the fighting style of Smash Bros. gels with another 2D situation.



What Ultimate omits from Smash Bros.’ is equally as extensive as what it includes. Target tests are nowhere to be found, event matches no longer supply the hardest scripted challenges, and All-Star mode is a bastardized version of itself where all of the fighters progressively fall from the sky until the player’s endurance exhausts. The most tragic cut Ultimate makes to the series’ traditions is the trophies, which I’ve always been fond of for their ample collectibility and art gala vibe while perusing through each individual series' history. Something in Ultimate that has a similar function to the collectible angle of the trophies is another relic from the series that should’ve been buried along with Pichu. Remember the stickers from Brawl? Those clip art cutouts of various characters too obscure to sculpt into the trophy gallery that gave a select fighter a marginal stat increase? They were lame ass in Brawl, and their underwhelming utility doesn’t change here. What particularly makes me disgruntled is how prevalent stickers are in Ultimate in lieu of the trophies' absence. A disorganized scrolling vertical list of every sticker the player has collected is featured as a reference, with no descriptions attached or air of sophistication to be found. To expound on this offense, Ultimate attempts to add personality to the sticker feature by “feeding them snacks” that increase their stats. I’d feel less embarrassed treating my office supplies to a tea party like a little girl does with her dolls. Googling images for any kind of content in a video game is the epitome of laziness, and I can’t believe my beloved Smash Bros. has resorted to this and made it a significant selling point.

But the piece de resistance of Ultimate that should surely garner forgiveness for the game’s uninspired aspects is “The World of Light,” another stab at a story mode campaign after the prospect of one was met with reluctance for the previous entry. Beginning with the cliffside setting that ended the Subspace Emissary (with more faces in this photo op), an army of white gloves that resemble Master Hand soar over the fighters like a battalion of jets, led by an angelic being with an abstract, ornate physicality. The center creature streams thousands of inescapable energy beams that disintegrate each fighter one by one, engulfing this world in a state of blank oblivion. The sole survivor of the cataclysmic scene is none other than Kirby, who is like an eldritch cockroach underneath his adorable bubblegum exterior. Kirby now has to rescue his Nintendo colleagues and those paying out-of-state tuition whose souls are floating in the ether of defeated nothingness. This adventure is conducted from a top-down view of the world map that features an eclectic assortment of topographies, painted with a pastel hue that gives the map a childish aesthetic fitting for one of those kid’s carpets. Souls of fighters and other characters of note from the realm of Nintendo are constant obstacles in traversing this vast landscape and once a fighter is unlocked through defeating them in battle, they are free to use to give the pink puffball time to rest his feet. While some of the set pieces found in this world are neat like the interior of Dracula’s castle and the globe that pinpoints each main Street Fighter character’s nationalities, the World of Light amounts to nothing but a fatiguing grind of various brief fights between the player and a CPU made up to resemble the character of a sticker as much as humanly possible without actually adding them as a legitimate fighter. How cute. The climatic fights between light angel Galeem and his dark copy Dharkon are the only truly unique slice of content this campaign offers besides the elevated scope of regular bouts provided by the story and world map. Subspace Emissary puts this slog to shame.

Sakurai is so lucky that I’m such a stupid slut for Super Smash Bros. Otherwise, my rating of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate would align with the critical venom I’m spewing on this game that I feel it deserves. How can I be the only person who feels like the supposed apex of Nintendo’s most opulent and self-indulgent franchise leaves a lot to be desired? It’s missing so many of the integral assets that comprise the series' identity, but it also injects way too much from previous titles that it feels like a Smash Bros. compilation rather than a new entry. Despite what people may say about titles like Brawl and Smash 4, which is redundant now because Ultimate feels like a direct expansion of that game, Ultimate is the first Smash Bros. game I’ve felt dissatisfied with. Still, I have to admit that the little bit of expanded content Ultimate adds makes it the one I fall back on to satiate my Smash Bros. cravings since its release. Again, it’s all up to irrational reverence more than anything. Sayonara, Sakurai. I guess this is an adequate swan song for your series.

Friday, July 12, 2024

Bully Review

 (Originally published to Glitchwave on 6/26/2024)













[Image from glitchwave.com]


Bully

Developer: Rockstar

Publisher: Rockstar

Genre(s): Open-World

Platforms: PS2

Release Date: October 17, 2006


Let’s discuss a topic I don’t think I’ve ever touched on in any of my reviews: the concept of a “hard T rating” and a “soft M rating.” This discussion might alienate the international audience I may or may not have, but the ESRB that classifies the content ratings of video games across North America is the homegrown organization whose practices of which I am the most familiar. I’d probably be denied a position on the executive board that finalizes these decisions, but I decree that there are too many games rated “M” that are either tame enough to allow younger gamers to play them without parental guilt just as there are games tailored for an adolescent audience that are far too risque to warrant the mild categorization. A prime example of the former that I never understood is Halo unless it's simply due to the expulsion of alien blood by the spraying of bullets that cements its rating, and labeling that as “mature” is something I fundamentally disagree with from an ethical standpoint. On the other end of the “T for teen” spectrum, Bully, another open-world IP from the visionary masters of the genre at Rockstar, pushed the standards and technicalities of what constitutes a mature video game to its absolute breaking point.

It’s baffling that Bully ever saw the light of day, much less the fact that the ESRB did not bestow the new IP from the renowned gaming provocateurs at Rockstar with the most extreme of cautionary content warning labels. In their neverending escapade to push the envelope of what was permissible in a video game before being tried in court for acts of ravaging society at large with obscenities, one would think that a series in which the player mows down pedestrians on the city streets or plays as a fucking serial killer would be difficult to surpass in fanning the flames of outrage. However, Bully forwards the developer’s pension for pissing off parental figures by going backward: to the youthful era of one’s adolescent days. As virulent as the backlash to Rockstar’s previous franchises was from older arbiters of supposed morality, they could at least admit that those games steered clear of any characters or NPCs under the adult age bracket. Of course, Rockstar dares to void the minor clemency by crafting what is essentially a high school game revolving around teenaged characters in their anarchic, open-world format that put them on the shit list of parents and politicians everywhere. You can imagine a game that places children at the helm of the violence and chaos was sure to garner a metric shit ton of backlash from the same people, and Rockstar certainly received their fair share of death threats and even unreasonable demands to sabotage their own business by taking Bully out back and executing it as an act of repentance for their sins. We gamers know from playing plenty of Rockstar’s other games that the studio’s output tends to be more substantial than the amoral smut as rumored by indignant outsiders, and Bully is no exception. Rockstar has plenty to satirically divulge regarding the American high school experience as profoundly as whenever they comment on the state of urban American life and culture in their best-associated series.

Just to clarify, Jimmy Hopkins, the protagonist of Bully, is not the eponymous descriptor the title is alluding to. However, his truculent disposition has caused a chain of consequences that have led him to get expelled from every high school east of the Mississippi. As a last resort to preserve the fifteen-year-old’s status as a student, he’s transferred to Bullworth Academy, an educational institution whose student body seems to be especially unruly and incorrigible. If the common comparison made between school and prison holds any legitimate parallels, then Bullworth Academy is like Oz Jr. if the brutal maximum security penitentiary was co-ed. In addition to the daily bouts of violent chaos between the students, Bullworth Academy is akin to a correctional facility because the typical high school cliques fracture the social dynamic as rigidly as native tribes. The nerds and jocks are self-explanatory as two sides of two dramatically opposite social spectrums, but Bullworth Academy also houses gangs of snooty preps, retro-chic greasers, and a group of kids in white polo shirts who torment the other kids so frequently that they are considered to be the designated bullies of the school. While these groups are drastically different, what unites them as bonafide Bullworth material is that they are all insufferably hostile assholes. Even the supposed meek and feeble nerds regularly pick fights with the other kids, even if it usually results in them writing a check that their asses can’t check. While Jimmy’s rough and tough attitude fits the school’s atmosphere like a glove, he can’t bear to stomach the dissension and cruelty between his peers. To bring Bullworth to a state of repose, he devises a plan with the smarmy Gary and timid Petey, the other “outsiders” in the school, to climb the apex of the social ladder and bring balance to Bullworth via becoming the alpha dog and taking control of the school’s social hierarchies.

While Jimmy is critical of the violence and daily humiliation the Bullworth students subject to each other, he certainly doesn’t shy away from inflicting pain and suffering on his peers if he’s provoked. As one could probably infer from my previous prison comparisons, every waking moment at Bullworth is a fight to survive. In fact, as soon as Jimmy steps through the front gate on his first day, the bullies immediately start sizing him up and swarm him like a pack of yellow jackets. But Jimmy is not a delicate little flower ready to tolerate any form of abuse. Messing with Jimmy is like poking a bull, and you’ll live to regret your decision once he’s shown you the horns. Bully’s combat, whether it be for defensive purposes or to cause narrative dissonance by bullying underserved students for the player’s own sick pleasure, is fairly nuanced for hand-to-hand fisticuffs. Pressing one button in quick succession will make Jimmy deliver a series of haymakers that will be enough to subdue most of the students, and Jimmy can block and dodge the blows from harassers while targeting them with the back trigger. Jimmy can learn new combat skills through the wrestling courses in gym class, and some dirty, government-grade moves from a mentally ill, homeless Korean War veteran who sleeps in a secret outdoor alcove behind an abandoned school bus on campus. Jimmy also has the ability to grab folks by the collar to leverage his body blows more accurately. When one of the students Jimmy’s been roughing up is on his last legs, Jimmy can perform a “fatality” in the form of a classic bullying technique like an Indian burn, hitting the victim with his own arms, pinning him down and hocking a loogie down someone’s throat, etc. If the assailant is too formidable or Jimmy is short on time, he can also take advantage of his surroundings to enact other feats of antisocial pastimes like shoving kids into lockers and trash cans. Dunking their heads down the school’s toilets while holding down the flush mechanism is also an option in the school's bathrooms. Bully also supplies Jimmy with a plethora of supplementary tools of mayhem fitting for the mischievous arsenal of Bart Simpson or Keith Moon: stink bombs, firecrackers, cartons of eggs, and a slingshot with inexhaustible ammunition so Jimmy is never handicapped by his lack of combative range. The rocket launcher and spud gun are some dangerously mighty weapons that can stop the football team’s quarterback dead in his tracks. Still, none of the violence in Bully will be fatal to any of Bully’s various NPCs no matter the potency of the firepower at play. The total lack of bloodshed in Bully is probably why the ESRB deemed the game appropriate for the age demographic the majority of the characters fall into themselves. Briefly incapacitating the NPCs as they writhe around in agony is definitely not on the same scale of graphic violence as messily ending someone’s life with a bullet to the brain. Still, while the violence in Bully isn’t as permanent or grizzly, it's arguably more upsetting from a certain perspective. Most gamers haven’t been involved with any mafia activity or have faced the dire consequences of flirting with that seedy underbelly, and citywide massacres on the street rarely occur. However, I’d be willing to bet that many gamers have traumatic memories of being verbally harassed and more severe, physical instances of belittlement at some point in their lives as depicted in Bully. It hits a raw, personal nerve that GTA does not. If the combat of Bully doesn’t conjure up any unpleasant memories, then the amount of debauchery one can create as Jimmy is a smashing hoot and a holler. Who says you need to commit murder to have a grand ol’ time in a video game?

However, just because Jimmy isn’t committing crimes liable to send him behind bars for the rest of his natural life doesn’t mean that the authorities are going to turn a blind eye to his antics. Roaming the halls as pervasively as the students are the prefects, glorified hall monitors common among real-life private schools. Normally, the role would be assigned to senior students as an additive credit to their light school schedule, but there is no way any of these towering, broad-shouldered jerkoffs aren’t old enough to drink yet. They’re a bunch of goons hired on like rent-a-cops that receive payment to delightfully put teenagers into submission, projecting their insecurities that stem from being brutalized in their youth. This is why they charge towards Jimmy for the slightest misdemeanor and considering he’s as turbulent as a wild dog in a butcher shop, they’re going to get a hearty amount of cardio exercise on the job. However, these prefects, or any other authority figure, can’t apprehend Jimmy for the slightest inkling of misconduct like the police force in the GTA games. The “trouble meter” isn’t an accumulation of bad behavior that escalates the degree of authoritative pushback with continual felonies. It’s a two-sided scope of a heated warning and getting busted when caught depending on the severity of the action. Jimmy will be slightly reprimanded if he’s found agitating any of his classmates of the same age range and gender, but assaulting any girls, middle school kids, or adults of any varying vocations will warrant a trip to the principal’s office. After the visitations start piling up, the prim and conservative Bullworth headmaster Crabblesnitch will be forced to strike Jimmy down with the furious disciplinary hammer of law and order. However, as much of a pest Jimmy is proving himself to be, Crabblesnitch cannot expel him because that sensible punitive measure conflicts with the construct of a game’s fair error margins. His decision instead is placing Jimmy in a productive round of detention where Jimmy mows the grass of Bullworth’s scattered lawns (or shovels snow in the winter). Even though this process technically constitutes as a minigame, the tedium of pointing Jimmy around riding an automated lawn mower makes this demanded section anything but enjoyable. Still, that’s the brilliant intention of this punishment for Jimmy’s misdeeds, and it's grating enough to incentivize the players to keep their noses clean, as Crabblesnitch often says.

For as unwelcoming as Bullworth is for all who are unfortunate enough to be sent there, it’s ironically the most close-knit setting Rockstar has ever crafted for one of their trademark open-world titles. The progress initiative for the studio during the PS2 era when their open-world formula was still in an infantile state was to widen the expanse of a game’s world with every subsequent project. After managing to integrate three significant American west-coast cities onto one disc with GTA: San Andreas, some players might be disappointed in the modest and restrained world that exists within the bounds of Bully. My argument against this rationale of bigger equating to being better is that Bully’s boundaries ensure that the player will understand the environment on a more intimate level. One way in which Bully benefits from being tightly constrained is how it allows the player to get better acquainted with Jimmy’s fellow Bullworth attendees. Why anyone would want to ingratiate themselves with these vicious reprobates is beyond the point. What astounds me is that each student, no matter their significance to Jimmy’s goal of reaching the top of the popularity mountain, is a distinctive character due to their constant presence in the foreground. For instance, Trent, the blonde bully, is one of the few gay students at Bullworth, who will make subtle suggestions for Jimmy to take his shirt off around him once he earns the respect of his clique. He’s relegated to just a number on the bully team during any mission where he and his tenacious friends are relevant to the plot, but his slight social tendencies speak volumes about why he acts out as belligerently as he does. Algernon, or “Algie” for short, is a pudgy nerd who reacts to all forms of animosity by wetting his pants. He awkwardly uses “hip” street lingo (that I have no idea where he picked up. Isn’t this game set in the late 1970s/early 1980s?) when Jimmy chats with him and can be seen smoking a cigarette in the parking lot on rare occasions. Something about Algie’s behavior outside of the missions tells me that he isn’t all content with his nerd footing and desperately wants to be perceived as cool outside his social group. Sorry to tell you this buddy, but you were destined for a lifetime of playing D&D (or “Grottos and Gremlins" as it's referred to here) and fearfully soiling yourself just by your name alone. Gloria, a middle schooler who holds no gravity to the plot whatsoever, is constantly mentioning historical figures like Machiavelli and Oscar Wilde in passing, showing her precocious love for fine literature. These are a few examples, but I promise that there is at least one interesting factoid about every student at Bullworth regardless of whether the camera overtly targets them. The player gradually comes to know every kid like an honest-to-God schooling experience. How often are all of the notable GTA NPCs simply hanging around the map minding their own business? Not even the modern open-world games that make San Andreas look diminutive in comparison could pull that off.

If the player does grow bored of hopping through the academy’s halls and causing mass riots in the boy’s dorm room before breakfast time, Bully’s map does expand in the same way that the GTA games reward progression milestones. Bully’s narrative is divided into chapters, ending one by defeating a clique leader and moving on to the next one. After conquering the shaved gorilla that is the Bully leader, Russell, the second chapter unlocks the privilege of stepping outside of the academy’s jurisdiction to the outside world of the town’s metropolitan areas. The first location that Jimmy can traverse is the commercial district and the ritzy suburban hills of Old Bullworth Vale where the nouveau riche preppies reside as well as some of the more esteemed members of Bullworth’s faculty. Once Jimmy tackles the greasers, their hangout of New Coventry to the east opens up, an area reflecting their blue-collar style and sensibilities. Eventually, the Blue Skies Industrial Park is open for business, where the sight of trailer parks displays an obvious income imbalance among Bullworth’s residents. Most players will likely be thankful that the game isn’t confined to the Bullworth campus just to stretch their legs and get some fresh air, but I’m of the belief that a game should think twice before offering a non-linear, open-world environment as it could be an unfilled waste of potential. Fortunately, Bullworth’s greater borders are just as sprawling with the opportunity to make mayhem like in the student-infested corridors of the academy. Because the map is succinctly designed, there isn’t a wasted kernel of space like the common case in broader open-world games. Also, Bully’s open-world identity starts to flourish when the downtown districts are open in more than simply expanding the parameters of the playground. For a quaint, podunk New England burg located along the water, Bullworth surprisingly offers plenty of activities. The places of commerce include a barber shop, a comic book store, and a market that conveniently sells all of Jimmy’s various wanton wares. Jimmy can gear up in the boxing ring to beat the living shit out of the preppies in their preferred sporting pastime, and the winding roads are perfect to race the greasers on their bikes. The epicenter of merriment in Bullworth is the carnival up on the hill that never leaves town. For the low price of one dollar per admission, Jimmy can partake in the classic carnival fare of shooting galleries and bell ringing, participate in go-kart races, and place a monetary bet on which midget will knock the other down in a freakshow exhibit. I guess exploiting the physically disabled was a stone of sensitivity left unturned in GTA that Rockstar implemented here as a staircase thought. Still, whether or not the extra content beats in Bully are tasteful (who am I trying to kid here), the town of Bullworth proves that an open-world map doesn’t have to take a half hour of real-time to traverse through to leave an impression on the player.

But everyone knows that you can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat and in this context, I’m alluding to having to prioritize attending class over gallivanting about town like a hedonistic wastrel. Lest we forget in the whirlwind of beatdowns that Bullworth is still a place of learning. Every day at 9 AM and 1 PM, two seminars are conducted for two typical school subjects, and Jimmy is expected to arrive in a punctual manner as part of his journey to becoming an exemplary scholar (yeah, right). Of course, the game doesn’t force Jimmy to take the studious route, but be aware that the prefects will take his truancy as a golden opportunity to trounce him. Besides, the developers have managed to make the most mundane and nerve-wracking aspect of school at least tolerable by gamifying the curriculum. English class is a word scramble, geography class involves matching flags to their countries/states, and music class is a rhythm game where Jimmy begrudgingly plays percussion instruments accompanied by the most tone-deaf group of amateur student musicians. The rhythm-oriented sequence of chemistry class is the only undercooked (or under chemicalized) minigame of the bunch, and it's obvious the developers couldn't think of something stimulating that coincides with the subject. Perhaps a methodical mixing process like the animal dissection minigame that comprises the workload of biology class would’ve also proved to be too similar, but at least it would’ve required more than minimal effort. Even if the player finds these classes to distract from the prankish frolicking they could be having, the developers always make this obligatory part of schooling worth their while. Passing Jimmy’s classes will grant him various perks and rewards for his uncharacteristic diligence. Acing chemistry class will allow Jimmy to craft the long-range tools with a chemset in his room, and wooing the teacher with self-portraits in a Centipede-esque game in art class will guarantee a higher boost of health when he macks on one of the girls with the fiery romantic passion of Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity (or on Trent. Hey, it gives Jimmy the same additional layer of health.) Jimmy may question the school’s bureaucratic authority every day, but he’ll never wonder how the material he’s expected to learn will factor into his future like many other high schoolers.

Bullworth’s unorthodox way of graduating is setting Jimmy free from his schooling obligations once he’s successfully completed five classes per course. Once the commitment has been lifted, it gives Jimmy a bevy of time to engage in other offerings. Because the missions become more prolonged as the game progresses, Jimmy is going to need that liberated period to cram in enough activity before he drops like a ton of bricks at 2 AM. The time spent each day in Bully is contingent on a time limit, an abundant eighteen-hour stretch between when Jimmy’s clock rings to signal a new day and when his body collapses like a robot whose batteries have been depleted. Even if the player is enjoying the degeneracy, it’s critical to abide by Jimmy’s bedtime more than any other engagement in the game. Passing out anywhere else but Jimmy’s bed at the deadline, or at least the floor of his dorm room, will leave him in a vulnerable position that the other students at Bullworth are too eager and unscrupulous not to take advantage of. The demerit for pushing Jimmy beyond the threshold of alertness is similar to what happens when the prefects or the Bullworth police force seize and detain him. His special tools are confiscated, the double coat of health planted on him from lip locking is removed, and Jimmy will have to visit the school store to repurchase his shoes and other clothing items that his peers have liberally stripped from him in his unconscious daze. Giving the player a bedtime to spare our narcoleptic boy both his possessions and his dignity (and his virginity, probably) may seem counterintuitive for the freeform open-world genre where the constraints should be loosened. However, setting a time limit to how much trouble Jimmy can get into is another positively immersive aspect relating to the realm of school life.

Between balancing school and Jimmy’s (a)social life like all teenagers, he mustn’t forget to accomplish his mission of ascending the Bullworth throne by completing the missions. Throughout the chapters, the arc no matter which clique Jimmy is dealing with is essentially the same. One member of the clique will take interest in Jimmy from the word of mouth he’s been generating on campus and once Jimmy reciprocates, they’ll have him perform a few tasks for their personal benefit. Soon, Jimmy will anger the clique to the point where they’ll bum-rush him whenever they see him in their peripheral vision. Jimmy’s antagonizing tactics vary from clique to clique, but they usually boil down to acting against their interests with another clique or seducing their token female member (entitled prep girl Lola, promiscuous greaser girl Lola, and type-A cheerleader Mandy). The chapter culminates with Jimmy facing off against the clique leader as a “boss battle”, with Boy Wonder Petey providing assistance. For a bunch of high school kids duking it out, the climactic missions that cap off a chapter are quite epic thanks to the solid pacing and build-up beforehand. While the gratification of completing an elongated task is felt, I can’t say that the difficulty adds to that sense of accomplishment. I’m not sure if Rockstar intentionally made Bully easier than any of the GTA games on the same system because the game can be legally played by non-adults, but failing any of the missions was an occurrence that happened only a handful of times rather than what was a trial and error process for Rockstar’s “mature” franchise. The only clique that managed to make Jimmy wave the white flag as he curled up in a pained fetal position were surprisingly the nerds, thwarting his raid on their fortress at the observatory with the engineering genius of potato launchers. Even if most missions in Bully won’t make the player grit their teeth, at least the variety on display will hold the player’s interest. Jimmy will challenge the cliques to bike races, prank the jocks by pissing in their Gatorade cooler, and escort the nerds through a spooky funhouse while using the animatronics to cease the pursuit of the jocks running after them. Do not sleep through the Halloween mission where Jimmy and his allies pull the prank of the century on the gym teacher. There are also arcs pertaining to the workplace squabbles of a few of Bullworth’s teachers in the mix of each chapter that provide a momentary distraction from its focal point. Galloway and Hattrick are always at each other’s throats because the self-righteous math teacher has a problem with the English teacher’s propensity for the bottle, and Burton the washed-up gym teacher can’t keep his grubby mitts off of elicit paraphernalia involving girl’s nude photos and their undergarments. The panty raid he has Jimmy perform for him is one mission that I think the ESRB might have glossed over when they stamped this game with a “T” rating. While I’m at it, I’m pretty sure the lunch lady drugged and raped the chemistry teacher on their “date.”

The cliques can also get cross with Jimmy because of that bastard Gary’s scheming. Considering all Gary does after backstabbing Jimmy is ruin all of the progress Jimmy makes with each clique, he’s obviously intended to be the primary protagonist as opposed to a Jimmy versus the world angle his quest would imply. Gary is a great antagonist to Jimmy because his characterization provides a contrast that shows more insight into Jimmy’s character. As some characters say, Jimmy is a tender soul behind his rocky, coarse exterior. He’s the epitome of chaotic good, even if giving him this label would result in him telling me to shut up and call me a dork or something. Jimmy genuinely wants his classmates to get along and realizes the only way to achieve this idyllic state of tranquility is to strong-arm the instigators. Meanwhile, Gary is a tried and true narcissistic sociopath destined to either have a jail cell adjacent to Hannibal Lecter or a career in politics. His mission of school-wide dominance stems from his sinister desire for everyone at Bullworth to grovel at his feet. He’s what Jimmy is perceived to be at first glance without any character context, and he exists so the player can see what an upstanding and moral character Jimmy really is despite his harsh methods. It’s a shame then that the developers didn’t know what to do with Gary and how to integrate him as Jimmy’s nemesis properly. The conflict between Jimmy and the cliques and his conflict with Gary does not have that smooth synergy the developers believe it does. After the first chapter, Gary is cast aside as a character that is rather spoken about rather than interacted with, so the occasional moment where he shows up to throw a monkey wrench into Jimmy’s goals feels shoehorned because he doesn’t feel significant. The way in which the developers try to assert Gary’s significance is nonsensical because of his underlying character context. Everyone on campus knows Gary and is aware that he’s a sadistic creep; so aware of this fact that he holds a special designation as the one kid that everyone leaves alone in a school where they all insist on badgering and persecuting one another. Therefore, it doesn’t make sense as to why they’re so susceptible to being manipulated by Gary when he hires burnout kids around town to hurt every clique in a specific manner and sabotage Jimmy’s credibility as a result. I don’t know who else could potentially serve as the game’s penultimate boss if not Gary, but the final moments with him feel abrupt. As anticlimactic as it sounds, the game should’ve left Gary out of the loop and ended when Jimmy brings together every clique at Bullworth in perfect harmony.

Bully is a game filled with piss and vinegar. It’s made of snips, snails, and puppy dog tails with a shot of Fireball Whiskey, or whatever makes teenage boys such pugnacious creatures besides the testosterone flowing through their systems. It’s one of the angriest games I’ve ever played, with every character interacting with a level of malevolence unbecoming of real people. Bully is another trademark Rockstar caricature of a facet of humanity unexplored in their other series, and it bites at the American school system and the social castes within it just as hard as GTA does with society at large. To call Bully “GTA for kids” because of its less severe surface content is entirely reductive, and I think I’ve proven why by using its mean-spirited tone and suggestive mission objectives as examples. Yet, the game does not share GTA’s prevailing cynicism, as Jimmy Hopkins’ hope for peace and unity in this ugly establishment conveys the underlying thought that despite an individual’s differences, we can still coexist without any contention. This lesson can be valuable to a teenage demographic, and the snotty, rambunctious aura of high school life that Bully exudes will probably resonate with them the deepest. Rockstar’s most juvenile and compact open-world game is perhaps my favorite of their output.

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