(Originally published to Glitchwave on 11/21/2024)
[Image from glitchwave.com]
Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic '06)
Developer: Sega/Sonic Team
Publisher: Sega
Genre(s): 3D Platformer
Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3
Release Date: November 14, 2006
Despite the notorious reputation Sonic ‘06 has garnered, it isn’t to say that the game is totally bereft of any admirable qualities, which might be my continual thesis for this game as the review progresses. Firstly, the opening cinematic that begins Sonic’s campaign is nothing short of stunning. The evening glow of dusk and the skybound sparkle of fireworks gleaming off of the flowing water surrounding this intricately-designed urban landscape is a sight to behold, and the scope of the scene couldn’t have been achieved on the sixth-generation consoles that I owned when the game was released. High definition, indeed. All of this striking visual flair on display is for the purpose of detailing the conflict catalyst that spurs the game’s events, which obviously involves Dr. Eggman/Robotnik in some capacity. This time around, the bulbous robotics genius with the mustache that rivals the length of the average person’s arm span is harassing a red-headed girl named Elise, a princess in a royal family that governs the city setting. What could be the reason for Eggman’s fierce intimidation towards this girl who has never caused him any harm? A chaos emerald, of course–particularly the one she wears around her neck that Eggman needs to uncover some sort of mythical treasure that the universe houses. The princess of Soleanna doesn’t face the consequences for hesitating in complying towards Eggman’s aggressive orders to hand it over, for Sonic duly interrupts the doctor’s schemes as scheduled. Sonic escapes the ruined ceremony with Elise in his arms, but he quickly loses her to Eggman’s gigantic mech with kinetic opposable fingers. Sonic’s rescue mission may have been all for naught, but what he did accomplish without compromise is the swift proficiency he used to trounce Eggman’s robot fleet in the introductory cutscene. The high-definition fluidity of the cinematic action during the cutscene is Sonic at his most badass. It’s another mark of incredible presentational prowess this game bestows, and I’ll bet the Deviantart faction of the Sonic fandom was creaming their jeans upon seeing it for the first time.
Another compliment I will pay to Sonic ‘06 regarding its HD presentation is that the human characters in the game are equally as graphically refined as their surroundings. Or, at least they look impressive in a vacuum. Elise is a contentious character in the greater Sonic universe for a myriad of valid reasons, but the innocent and cherub-cheeked visage of a young princess is accurately portrayed with this enhanced visual fidelity. In brief, the core issue revolving around this character is that her relationship with Sonic is creepy. Sure, the classic “knight in shining armor” dynamic that Sonic has with Elise certainly calls for some romantic palpability, but I bet the ancient epic writers of yore never anticipated that their archetypal story structures would ever include a blue, anthropomorphic hedgehog in the heroic role. Such an idea would be perceived as a crime against humanity. Obviously, their relationship never verges into obscene beastiality territory, but even the slight hints at a budding romance between Sonic and Elise are enough to throw off my appetite. Lock up your daughters, guys, because Sonic the Hedgehog is on the prowl looking to press his gloves up against their bodies in an intimate embrace. Gross.
The interspecies love between girl and hedgehog is also indicative of a prevalent problem with the human characters of Sonic ‘06. Each of the human NPCs are rendered with an intricate amount of detail that would be impressive for any video game, but they look off-putting contrasted with the cartoonish Sonic and his furry friends. The presence of human characters in the Sonic franchise became prevalent in the 3D era, but they’ve been tolerable up until now. Sonic Adventure 2 relegated them to the occasional cutscene, and the denizens of Station Square in the first Sonic Adventure resembled that of plastic dolls rather than flesh and blood people. Eggman is the sole human character with a consistent presence in the Sonic series, but his features have always verged into caricature territory. With the advanced tint of high definition, the juxtaposition between realism and animated fantasy is jarring, to say the least. The NPCs exaggerating their interactions with Sonic in such goofy fashions like rapidly flapping their gums and flailing their arms with the drama of an angry Italian doesn’t lower their personhood to Sonic’s realm of animation: it just looks like they might be affected by a gas leak that’s permeating around the city.
The uncanniness of the human NPCs is mostly confined to the game’s hub world. An attribute from the first Sonic Adventure returns, and I would’ve been delighted as a kid because I found the freeform environment of the three hubs to be one of the most engaging aspects of the debut 3D Sonic title–even though they’re all kind of bland in retrospect. However, the generic nature of Station Square and the Mystic Ruins is admirable in its simplicity. Another evolving factor of 3D Sonic that is also rather unsavory is that the series has become a bit pretentious with polygons allowing them to tell weightier stories with an elevated narrative scope. The grandiose spectacle of the opening cutscene has often been compared to Final Fantasy in ridicule, but I’ve been comparing 3D Sonic to Square’s extravagantly overblown JRPG series ever since Shadow sulked his way into Sonic Adventure 2. Soleanna, the primary setting of Sonic ‘06, is another example of the series reaching for something out of its element. This Euro-inspired metropolis with Venetian Gothic architecture shares a strong resemblance to the real-world city of Venice located in northeastern Italy, and this particular urban area is renowned for its seductive atmosphere. It’s a picturesque paradise perfect for a honeymoon or any other romantic getaway. Is Sega suggesting that romance is a key component to Sonic ‘06 considering the sumptuous environment with canals galore that he finds himself in? I’ll wager that if Sonic gives into feelings of twitterpation, the target of his passion will not be Amy Rose. Sega, no one will think Sonic is a devilish casanova if he dicks down that human princess girl. Stop it. Your attempts to facilitate this outcome are as laughably awkward as when Attack of the Clones borrowed the same Venice-esque setpieces to blossom Anakin and Padme’s shoehorned relationship. Even if the developers never intended for love to permeate through the air, Soleanna’s ornate architecture still clashes with Sonic’s animated aesthetic as sharply as its human denizens. Maybe Soleanna bothers me because navigating through it trying to find the right objective is as unclear as the water in the Baltimore harbor. Where’s the Tikal energy ball when you actually need it?
But everything I’ve criticized Sonic ‘06 on so far has been nothing short of fastidious nitpicking. Every aspect of the game I discuss from here on out will get into the nitty gritty of why Sonic ‘06 is as critically castigated as it is, listing all of the aspects that made me want to castrate myself for ever considering purchasing this piece of shit game. Frankly, I don’t have a clue which list item to start with because the flaws of Sonic ‘06 are far too numerous and equally as vexing. I guess my first point of contention is with the abysmally long loading screens, for they’re an immediately noticeable issue as soon as Sonic encounters Tails a few seconds after the opening sequence ends. To test the absurd pause time of these loading screens, I went upstairs to use the bathroom in order to see if the game would still be loading when I returned. It HAD loaded, but the fact that I was confident enough that I’d have wasted zero time in my brief absence is a clear enough indication that the game’s buffering periods will have the player checking their watch/phone clock and stamp their feet with impatience as Sonic used to do back he was depicted with 16-bits graphics. These swathes of buffering also occur at every conceivable intermittent moment throughout the game, whether it be when Sonic reaches another section of a level or cycling through sub-mission requests assigned by the NPCs. Having to sit through TWO ungodly long loading screens in the process of reaching a simple side quest is ludicrous. Constantly implementing these prolonged sequences of inactivity subtly suggests that the game is struggling to keep up with the HD standard of its console like a fat chronic smoker after walking for more than a minute. As par for the course regarding an infamously atrocious game, Sonic ‘06 is naturally overflowing with glitches like a swarm of maggots infesting a corpse. These glitches include, but are certainly not limited to; Sonic continuing to perform the oscillating wildly animation when he runs into something while running precariously, tripping on inexplicable objects that awkwardly halt Sonic’s movement, Sonic freezing when he’s meets an unagreeable angle on the field, and countless instances of collapsing through the game’s fragile foundation into a wormhole of oblivion. I’ve yet to encounter any of the glitches that either Sonic Adventure title has been rumored to be rife with, but encountering bugs that break Sonic ‘06 is as commonplace as finding actual bugs in the humid swamps of the Everglades.
In what is either out of genuine delight or a coping mechanism at play, the varied array of bugs and glitches that plague Sonic ‘06 are a source of amusement for the more optimistic Sonic fans, laughing at the game for its litany of glaring issues like a shoddy B-movie. I, on the other hand, cannot join the cackling crowd treating their experiences with this game like it’s Mystery Science Theater because all of the flaws of Sonic ‘06 were busy beating me senseless. On a deeper fundamental level past the comedic visual glitches lies their absolute fracturing of Sonic’s controls and how he interacts with his environment. Whereas the controls of fellow maligned 3D Sonic game Shadow the Hedgehog suffered from slipping all over the place like an ice rink, the general controls of Sonic ‘06 are beleaguered by the opposite issue. Sonic feels as stiff as an overdose of Viagra pills, moving with the fluidity and grace of a paraplegic mannequin. Besides the uncomfortable restraint of his general movement, every homing attack knocks the wind out of Sonic and grinds his momentum to a screeching halt. Trying to hop from a grind rail to another one directly beside it will only result in Sonic jumping as he normally would and flying off into the abyss, and any snowboarding segment operates on a plain removed from the rational rules of physics. Precision is somehow more paramount to Sonic’s gameplay than in any previous outing, as colliding with walls or other parallel surfaces during those automated speed sequences will often result in immediate death. The roller coaster loops that have served as joyous set pieces of Sonic’s terrain since the early days on the Genesis now instill feelings of stress and worry in the player, for it’s uncertain if Sonic will careen off the track at any point while in this adrenalized instance of hectic acceleration. Actually, any instance of a spring bounce, speed booster, or any other Sonic trope where the trajectory is determined by the game is a leap of faith risking Sonic’s life–a roll of the dice where “snake eyes” is too likely an outcome to impress a sense of security. To the game’s credit, the level design for most acts offers multifaceted gameplay routes which indicate the depth of a bonafide Sonic experience. However, the additional proficiency needed to verge onto the alternate way to victory isn’t worth exercising because the faulty mechanics are a handicap that hinders the player’s heightened skill ceiling. I recommend taking the simple route in any of these levels just to ensure absolute safety.
The one recurring gameplay mode in Sonic ‘06 that encapsulates all of the aforementioned shortcomings into the pinnacle of broken bullshit is the speed sections. At the climactic point of a few levels, Sonic will proverbially unshackle his restraints used for platforming and engage his maximum velocity to its fullest extent. It sounds absolutely electric on paper, but this untethered display of Sonic’s full potential is downright perilous in every way imaginable thanks to the game’s ramshackle status. Directing Sonic through a level at a moderate pace during manual control in Sonic ‘06 is challenging enough, so imagine how furious the flairs of frustration are when the player is expected to navigate him around obstacles with his brakes cut. The obstacles in question are littered all over the field with hardly any legroom to dart around. Multiple obstacles in succession will only expose that invulnerability windows are another requisite that the game neglected to implement. Jumping over an obstacle situated on the ground should be the correct course of action, but Sonic’s hops are subdued by the unmitigated velocity of his turbo-charge which usually results in scrapping his ankle and having his rings erupt as a result. Sonic also can’t alter the course of his movement while jumping, so expect to watch in agony as he charges headfirst into his demise due to his rigidity. These sections will also shift the perspective of the camera abruptly and expect the player to assimilate to this swift adjustment in a flash or suffer dire consequences. I’d comment that these sections feel as if Jesus is taking the wheel, but Satan is the only appropriately nasty and sadistic enough divine entity that would purposefully verge the player in these disastrous directions. I’ve never been glad to experience lag while playing a video game before. When faced with these vulgar, unhinged displays of Sonic’s maximum speed, I clench my body with a nerve-racking discomfort and uncertain anxiety as I would while anticipating a thorough cavity search, and I’m not referring to the ones conducted at the dentist. All of the botched aspects of Sonic ‘06’s mechanics inadvertently turn it into the most difficult Sonic game to date, but these sections in particular sink the game even deeper into unplayable territory.
If you’re under the impression that these HD consoles still couldn’t contain the lightning-fast might of the blue blur despite their supposed advanced hardware capabilities, the distinctive mechanics of Sonic’s stupid friends will prove that Sonic ‘06 is a comprehensively abysmal experience. Again, Sonic ‘06 reintroduces another gameplay attribute from the Sonic Adventure games I adored with the playability of multiple characters. With my adult hindsight leading me to conclude that every other secondary character in that game (except maybe E-102) was lackluster compared to Sonic, imagine how that dynamic works in a game where playing as the titular character is torturous. During progress points of certain levels, the game will swap the central role of playability from Sonic to either of his Team Sonic friends. The transition between characters tends to be quite hasty, so be prepared to unwittingly lose a life or two due to the sudden change. The fluttering of Tails’ two namesake mutations sure does make a lot of noise considering all of the propulsion amounts to accelerating him at the leisurely pace of a parade float. The player might be inclined to jump through the airborne hoops to boost Tails while he flies as they did in the first Sonic Adventure but now, avoiding the rings altogether is the wiser decision because attempting to aim Tails through the hoop feels as repellent as attempting to connect magnets of the same charge. What strikes me and several others as odd regarding Tails in Sonic ‘06 is that his primary attack method is expelling ring canisters and tossing them at enemies. When has a character ever used the currency or health item associated with their franchise as a projectile weapon? Whenever the developers stopped caring, obviously. As far as Sonic’s red friend is concerned, his array of maneuvers is more recognizable but they have been soiled all the same by the game’s fractured foundation. Knuckles couldn’t even swat a mosquito on his arm considering his pitiful punch range, and he has a habit of sinking his pointy fists too deep into the walls and getting stuck as a result. I was fortunate enough to never experience this fluke, but the infamous moment from when Game Grumps played this game speaks for itself. Elise is also involved during a selection of action stages, but she only serves to subdue Sonic’s abilities when he has her clutched in his protecting arms. Her contribution to the gameplay that relieves her as a steel ball that chains and drags Sonic is that she creates an orange forcefield encompassing the two, which prevents Sonic from drowning in either water or quicksand. The protective orb looks like a cheap visual effect achieved from the free version of the simplest editing software. What exactly ignites Elise’s ability here anyway? The power of love? Gag me with a fucking spoon, Sega. I’m not as critical about incorporating multiple characters into the fray compared to the zealous Sonic fans, but I always keep in mind that they’re always going to be inferior to the titular character. When Sonic is struggling to this unprecedented extent, one can imagine that the meager alternatives with their own slew of problems are unwelcome.
In terms of the narrative, perhaps Sonic needs all of the assistance he can scrounge up to conquer the conflict of what is the grandest Sonic story ever told. If you thought that Sonic ‘06 was a by-the-books hero arc with a damsel in distress, wait until the layers of this narrative onion unfold. Unfortunately, the thickest folds of this metaphor consist of a sensitive thematic construct that tends to crumble if not given the proper consideration: time travel. This core aspect of this game’s story becomes relevant when Sonic and friends are transported by a time machine created by Eggman to Soleanna in the distant future, an apocalyptic urban hellscape flooded with lava and searing flame tornadoes called “Crisis City.” When the context behind the opening sequence is revealed, we learn that the “treasure” Eggman needs the chaos emeralds to unlock is the concentrated power of the sun God Solaris. Elise isn’t integral to achieving this goal, but she has a grim, yet vital insight regarding Eggman’s diabolical ambitions due to her father inadvertently killing himself trying to harness the power of Solaris a few years prior. Receiving an up close and personal look at Soleanna’s destitute future reveals that the stakes are dire and that Eggman’s trifling with forces beyond his element will be cataclysmic. Sonic’s pursuit in stopping the mad doctor is mostly a series of playing catch with him using Elise as the makeshift ball, losing her as quickly as he recovers her from Eggman’s clutches. Eventually, their little game of keepaway reaches a stalemate when Eggman’s callback Egg Carrier careens out of the sky with Elise on board. To negate her untimely death, the aggrieved Sonic uses the time travel properties of the chaos emeralds to revert to the moment where he catches Eggman’s starship and flees the wreckage with Elise intact. Obviously, the climax of Sonic interfering with the space- time continuum is intended to evoke feelings of relief and triumph after a scene of devastation, but even an earned moment of romance between Sonic and Elise still makes me wince. Eggman acts as if she’s ultimately superfluous to his master plan, so why didn’t the developers adopt the same attitude and drop her once the greater context of the scenario was revealed? Is Sonic getting his rocks off a new essential plot point that will persist from here on out?
Admittedly, Sonic’s arc doesn’t stray too far from the initial goal of protecting his taboo new boo from his arch-rival. However, if one reads carefully, I did technically state that the story of Sonic ‘06 superseded the triangle of interest between Sonic, Elise, and Eggman. What I did not disclose was that Sonic’s story is a mere third(ish) of the game’s entirety, so the player is far from out of the proverbial woods if they manage to conquer Sonic’s campaign. No, the greater scope of the game’s narrative is fleshed out with two other campaigns with two separate protagonists at the helm. Because the ending of Sonic Adventure 2 has been retconned continuously at this point to where I wonder if it’s even canon anymore, Shadow returns as the forefront protagonist of one the game’s major story arcs. Instead of chronically rescuing a princess and doing dirty things with her, the focal point of Shadow’s story is a figure named Mephiles. During the experiments that resulted in the death of Elise’s father, Solaris was divided into two separate manifestations, one being Mephiles and Iblis the other. Both of them have an ID and ego type of dynamic. During a scuffle with Eggman, the breaking of a mythical artifact called the “Scepter of Darkness” releases Mephiles, who proceeds to model his corporeal form after Shadow sans his mouth. A copycat isn’t a coincidence, for Mephiles’ speaking of his wishes to destroy humanity mirrors Shadow’s attitude to the point of mockery. Sonic’s unbridled positivity was never going to convince Shadow to turn the other cheek, as the only way for the black hedgehog to see the error of his ways is to echo his misanthropic disposition right back at him. Mephiles is surprisingly a better Shadow antagonist than Black Doom ever was, or at least if we are to trust that Shadow’s evil adversaries should prompt him into embracing his moral side as the hero he is perceived to be. Still, I wish the time travel component to the overall story didn’t complicate the intricacies behind the relationship between Shadow and Mephiles.
I’ve made my distaste for Sonic’s edgy doppelganger abundantly clear when I discussed previous titles in the series where he makes an appearance, so one would think that prolonging this excruciating experience with him sharing the forefront with Sonic particularly ruffles my feathers. To my surprise, Shadow’s campaign is slightly more favorable to Sonic’s because the developers have highlighted attributes of his gameplay other than speed. Shadow’s campaign is more action-oriented, littering the screen with dozens of enemies per block of a level. Shadow may not be packing heat as he was in his self-titled outing, but a “chaos blast” will effectively deplete the health bars of all enemies in its radius–making him more suitable for stomping out enemies than Sonic. Vehicles are a returning aspect of Shadow’s gameplay from his eponymous game, and the buggy, hovercraft, hang glider, and motorcycle are all unified by Shadow’s black and red color scheme despite their varied utility. Controlling them is marginally more responsive than when Shadow had the entirety of the screen time, but there is still a rudimentary quality to their acceleration that feels underdeveloped. If Sega showcased an interactive “museum” like Insomniac tends to do, riding around in these vehicles feels comparable to the rough drafts of their development that are presented as a lark. Like the quasi-Team Sonic reunion, Rogue and Omega complete Team Dark as secondary characters in Shadow’s campaign. Rogue is beset by the same glitchy climbing mechanics as Knuckles, but at least Omega’s projectiles are fitting for his character not like Tails. The improvements of Shadow’s campaign to Sonic’s are ultimately marginal, and it’s probably the more favorable one because Shadow doesn’t drive me insane with speed sections.
The last piece of Sonic ‘06’s story is unfolded through the sole series debutant Silver the Hedgehog. Unlike Sonic and Shadow who are commissioned to reside in Soleanna due to Eggman mucking about, Silver is a Soleanna native. However, he’s a citizen of Soleanna’s dismal, infernal future, which is why he pulls a John Conner and transports himself two centuries into the past to retroactively prevent what doomed his city. At first, he travels back in time with a similar objective to the T-1000, for he was manipulated by Mephiles into thinking that Sonic is the “Iblis Trigger” and strives to kill him. His confusion also results in a boss battle that stands as one of the most notorious moments of fractured fuckery in a game bursting at the seams with them. When he realizes he’s been duped and stops antagonizing Sonic, Silver alters his focus to vanquishing the actual Iblis and assisting Sonic with the time travel process whenever it’s necessary. Really, the core of the game’s overarching conflict resides with Silver’s story arc in the grand scheme of things, which is why I invested more of my attention in his campaign as opposed to the narrative lollygagging and confusing convolutions the previous two campaigns were rife with.
Despite his arc showcasing the most interesting extrapolation of the game’s events, I still couldn’t attach any personal fondness for Silver. If every hedgehog character the series introduces is intended to contrast Sonic in some way shape or form, Silver lacks Sonic’s cool charisma similar to Shadow. However, Silver is a goober instead of a brooding grouch. I don’t know whether the whiny voice acting is to blame, but the impassioned naivety of Silver comes across more as an ubergeek larping than an endearing, intrepid hero. Altogether, the hedgehog protagonist trio encompasses douchey, edgy, and dorky in an unholy trinity of cringe. In terms of his gameplay, Silver uses his psychokinetic powers in combat to lift objects like crates and fling them at enemies. The developers evidently noticed in the development process that Silver’s extraordinary abilities conflicted with the tension of combat, so they thought it wise for Silver to use his gift for moving things with his mind in the vein of puzzles. Silver’s brain teasers aren’t as consistently aggravating as Sonic’s speed sections, but one particular ball puzzle during his version of the “Dusty Desert” level is so demanding and unyielding that players commonly exploit phasing glitches to circumvent having to humor it. I, unfortunately, discovered that I never had the makings of a varsity speedrunner and had to masterfully calculate the force and trajectory of Silver’s psychokinetic pushes like a good boy. Even though Silver exists in an era beyond any other Sonic character’s mortal limits, Amy and Blaze the Cat from Sonic Rush accompany him on his quest to extinguish Iblis. I’m sure some Sonic fans will argue that Blaze being a futuristic contemporary to Silver contradicts her placement in the Sonic timeline, but I don’t give a shit. Anyway, Amy is the most sluggish out of all nine playable characters and Blaze operates like a more adroit version of Sonic. Silver’s campaign is, for the most part, the stand-out among the rest. Still, this bar is so low that not even an ant could limbo under it.
For the first time in the series, Sonic is neither the most savory nor significant figure in one of his many titles. This is probably why the developers felt no qualms about murdering the blue blur at the hands of Mephiles in the game’s final act. Elise may not be vital to Eggman’s plans, but executing her newfound love in cold blood is emotionally injurious enough to make Elise cry crocodile tears and release Iblis as a result–a cunning component of Mephiles’ scheme. Acquiring all seven chaos emeralds is also a factor in Mephiles’ plan to merge himself with Iblis to re-emerge as a wrathful Solaris ready to wipe humanity off the map. Drastic circumstances call for more manpower, which includes every other playable character in the fray for the (supposedly) grand finale of Sonic ‘06. As fittingly epic as the framing of this finale is, the idea of enduring a gauntlet of eight levels in succession with only five lives is excruciating. In execution, several characters such as Amy and Silver cannot outrun the swirling vortex of the time portals, and the sheer length of such an endeavor connotes that there are quite a bit of tidbits to memorize through failure. All of the elements of this finale aren’t as much of a stinging slap to the face as Sonic’s speed sections, but the amount of content the player must undergo without a breather is sure to cause a hefty amount of duress. Sonic is resurrected and shares his Super Sonic powers with Shadow and Silver to douse the demigod Solaris, and Elise sacrifices her memories of Sonic to prevent Solaris from ever becoming a threat to mankind. Off the record, I wish I could blow Elise away from existence so I wouldn’t have to stomach Sonic’s puppy love butterflies at every turn. Did they ever realize that Shadow and Silver have more stake in this story than he does?
I would like a formal apology from everyone who candidly shat on both Sonic Adventure games (and Sonic Heroes to a lesser extent) when I was a child. Sure, these rude comments were made before the release of Sonic ‘06, but the roaring holocaust of unspeakable, visceral horror that is Sonic ‘06 makes all of the quirky hiccups of the previous Sonic games seem like silly little quibbles in comparison. I don’t think there is a more appropriate video game comparable to the Hindenburg disaster, a bombastic display of ultra-modern technology exploding in a shocking inferno and leaving everyone awestruck at the glorious spectacle of failure. Whether it be the glitches deciding when I died, the scrambled, obtuse plot branches, the loading screens that spanned the length of a short film, or those godforsaken speed sections, I felt like I was being pinned down and sodomized at every waking moment. Do you want to know what the sad part is? Underneath all the bloated, asymmetrical, and inexcusable layers of dirt lies a solid 3D Sonic experience if the level designs and surface-level ambitions are anything to go by. My guess is that Sega put all their eggs into the game coinciding with Sonic’s fifteenth anniversary to such a great extent that they couldn’t wait another year for Sonic’s sweet sixteenth, releasing the game in its rough draft format before the developers had the chance to undergo whatever the game developer equivalent of the editing process is. Due to Sega’s impatience, hubris, greed, and total anathema for their fans, they’ve condemned what could’ve possibly been the greatest Sonic game by all contexts of the word to an embarrassing, smelly stain on the franchise that will never wash out. May God have mercy on your souls, Sega.
